To ask if you think ‘date nights’ are important?

[LBirch02]

Found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago felt grim for a bit but now thankfully feel a lot better. Me and OH have scheduled our first proper ‘date night’ in ages for tomorrow night and I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve spent ages today picking out my dress - I need to get a life I know I just feel id love to schedule regular date nights in now and visit as many different places as possible- just think this 1-1 couple time is really important. What are your views on it?

We have date night at least twice a month, either out or all teens banned from downstairs but sent up with sweets, pop etc. It's soooo important to us

26 years married here and have never done a ‘date night’ - we just go out when we want to now. Babysitters were non-existent when the DC were little but we just got on with it really - watched a movie or had a nice dinner when they were in bed.

Yes we do a date night most weeks. It's at home tho, M&S dine in for a tenner meal, wine, and a film. Kids (teens) know it's our time and stay in their rooms, eat pizza etc. Occasionally we go posh and dress up too, nice dress, DH in tux etc. Children laugh but it got us through the tough bits of lockdown and we've kept it up.

Not remotely important to us, but everyone is different so totally accept that other couples might value them.

What is eye-wateringly cringey is some people’s need to announce that they’re having a “date night” on social media. Hideous.

@MaidEdithofAragon occasionally we go posh and dress up too, nice dress, DH in tux etc.

WTAF???

@stringlightcentral, it's just light hearted, why not?

4 kids here. Eldest is 8. Youngest 2. We haven't had a date night since my eldest was born. Luckily we don't need it and are happy at home. No baby sitter options or family. Every couple of different, if its important to you, then it's important

[quote stringlightcentral]**@MaidEdithofAragon* occasionally we go posh and dress up too, nice dress, DH in tux etc.*

WTAF???[/quote]
What's wrong with that?

I felt bad about not doing date nights post-DC, until I realised we'd stopped them as soon as we'd moved in together!

We both dislike nights out, we have different tastes in shows, but we like watching TV together or reading in bed together (different books). Or I'll be sewing and he'll be sitting stamps or whatever. That works for us. Nights out would be incredibly stressful, especially with kids with SEN who wouldn't cope with baby sitters.

We go out for dinner a few times a month. I’d find it weird doing a date night. Do people actually actually do this 🙄

I think it is important to ensure you don't forget who you are both as individuals, and as a couple when you have dc, but you don't necessarily need to have a "date night" for that.
It depends on what you like as a couple / what your finances are like (as in affording babysitters and also affording the night out). Also what you like to do.
Also how much time you spend together generally.

So no, they aren't important for us (and have managed 30 yrs together) but if it is something that gives you such a boost, then maybe it is important for you.

@CottageOnTheHill

We go out for dinner a few times a month. I’d find it weird doing a date night. Do people actually actually do this 🙄

That is the definition of date night?

I didn't, until we went on one and it was such a huge lift in our relationship. More planned!

I hate the term 'Date Night', not sure why. However I do think it's important to spend time together, whether that's a night out or a take away and film when the kids are in bed.

When my children were little, I seldom
had a baby sitter so their dad and I rarely
went out together. It did impact on our relationship, but then he was also a massive prick so that was a factor.

My now DH and I have regular nights out, breaks and days out together. The kids are young adults now so it's not an issue but when they are little it's hard to see a time when you'll have that freedom again.

Absolutely

I really recommend stand up comedy nights, just put you in really good mood and there’s nothing like having a laugh together

I love going out with DH and we have been married for around a thousand years. I think it is very important in a relationship. If either of us ever called it “date night” though it would be instant divorce.

Making time for each other is always a good idea. We often plan to go for dinner together but it never happens. We are usually to knackered to make the effort. We do often text each other in the day if we get an opportunity to skip out of work for a little afternoon delight!.

Yes, important for us to go for a meal or a drink and forget about real life for a while. We don't have kids but DH works awkward shifts - for example, this is our first full weekend together in 6 weeks. We like to schedule time for us to have a nice time.

Well yes, if you can. We have only been on very few out of the house date nights since dd was born 4 years ago. Our 1 surviving parent lives miles away and doesn’t drive. Family also spread out across the country. Local friends we would ask to babysit now have their own very tiny babies so it’s not very easy to get someone to look after dd. We can’t afford to pay for babysitter and a meal/cinema etc.

We do prioritise each other as much as we can and we do have movie nights and nights in at home a lot. We had all sorts of theatre trips and cinema dates and meals planned when I was pregnant with my second - covid put paid to that.

So yes, important but a big luxury to be able to.

100% - for us it’s even more important now that we have young children, otherwise it’s easy for us to lapse into a co-parenting situation where we get so caught up in day to day life, we forget that our marriage is also important.

We are very fortunate to have a lovely nanny who works ‘late’ (until around 10pm) once a week on a fixed day, so DH and I put the kids to bed and then always go out. Sometimes it’s literally to a local pub for a few beers, sometimes the cinema, sometimes a fancy restaurant.

But it’s something to look forward to each week, a chance for us to catch up with each other properly and remember why we love each other!

I am due DC3 any day now, so know it will go on hold for a few weeks but as soon as the baby can be reliably left for 1-2 hours, we will start again, even if it just means a quick drink and pizza in the restaurant at the end of our road.

It's very important.
My mil doesn't think so. She thinks people should "look after their bloody kids".
So enjoy 8 more months of just you two because you'll probably want to strangle each other after birth. 🤣

I think it's more important to get a break from the kids if anything. We will go out for a meal every few months or so, but I don't really see it as a date as we're married. Our relationship is strong and we have alone time together when the kids are in bed so don't feel the need to have regular dates.

Don't like the term, but do feel that even when you have a family with young children you get to go for an evening out or day out or something else as a couple, regularly if not once a week.

So, so important to keep your marriage going, you are partners not just parents, so many couple fall into this trap.

Lucky for us MIL was an absolute star when we had our boys, DS2 was such a miserable baby, he screamed day & night, she would say go out the two of you, I said but he’s screaming, he will do that if your here or not get away from it for a while! We used to go out, have a meal, she would have the baby all night in our home, so we could get a good nights sleep.

Definitely helped our marriage