My friend said I'm "stingy" am I ? Aibu ?

[sarahlou55k]

Me and my friend are going to Manchester tomorrow.
We are going for 2 nights for shopping /food and drinks.
We love a cocktail and said we will have to have a couple of cocktails.

She messages me a hour ago telling me she's booked some fancy place with a skyline view ??
And she's paid for a cocktail tree
It's 8 pornstar martinis and it's £120
So it's £60 each

I told her that was expensive and she really should have asked first
She said "oh stop being stingy it will be fab"

So I've paid £60 for 4 pornstar martinis
£15 each !!
Please someone tell me they agree that £60 for 4 drinks is ridiculous?
I was thinking revolution /slug and lettuce 2 for £10 or 2for £12
Not £60 for 4

I'm annoyed
Aibu ?

I think the main issues I would have are:

-maybe I don't want to drink 4 Pornstar Martinis
-maybe I don't want to be forced to stay in the same place all night to drink the drinks
-maybe I would have preferred to be asked

If the whole night costs £60 that might be ok, but it seems like you are going to be really limited now. What if the place isn't good? You only really learn what is good and what is not when you are in a place.

£15 for one 'proper' cocktail might be ok, but I wouldn't normally drink 4

It's a lovely bar, really nice. But the joy of Manchester is that all the bars/clubs/restaurants are close together so you can try lots of different places. The cocktails are about £10-15 each everywhere in that bit of town.

Ah, Cloud 23
You’re paying for the ‘experience’, view and venue.
Not my thing but plenty of people love it there.

If I'm paying that sort of money I'd want to be choosing my cocktail! I do occasionally buy one that price, but it's a treat and reading the menu is half the fun.

A skyline view of Manchester? Skyscrapers and cranes. Then £15 for one drink? No thanks!

YANBU. Your friend was rude & thoughtless not to ask you first.

I think you need to be as assertive as your friend has been about this trip and now plan your meals. Find cheap eats and then inform your friend that's where you'll be dining for the 2 days given you now only have a £60 budget due to the unplanned cocktail surprise.

Its annoying that she didn't consult you, but you can either dwell on it and let it ruin the weekend, or just go, enjoy the cocktails, but make sure you get a bit of control back about the rest of your spending.

The cocktails are about £10-15 each everywhere in that bit of town.

Agree with this. The nice thing is having a different cocktail in different bars.

If I booked something like this without consulting then I would pay for the whole thing. If I wanted to go halves I’d have said to mate “ I’ve seen this do you fancy it..: £60 each” that’s the way it works. You don’t boo something and expect someone else to pay without discussing it first

@StrawberrySquash

If I'm paying that sort of money I'd want to be choosing my cocktail! I do occasionally buy one that price, but it's a treat and reading the menu is half the fun.

yes this ^^ I hate not being able to choose

Wikipedia says pornstar martinis should be accompanied by a glass of prosecco. So, two drinks for the price of one. Make sure you get it.

Good god. Cocktails were £13 each in the Sky Garden in London!

That is factoring in paying for a view and experience. Could order any drink you wanted not all the same.

Sod paying £15 each for martini's in Manchester.

Does she have form for this sort of thing? I wld never presume that was ok even if I knew they were loaded. It's ridiculously expensive not that much cheaper than what I paid at the burj al Arab in Dubai about 8yrs ago!

I wouldn't be happy with that at all.

If they bring them all out on a 'tree' don't they get warm by the time you get to the end?

Its not her money to spend without asking.

Its not a question about whether you are stingy or not. Its the fact she spent your money without knowing if you could afford it / were willing to pay that much. Thats not ok.

And no you are not being stingy at all. There's plenty of other places you can go and have a great time but you had the choice removed because she wanted to do something and she expects you to pay for the privilege of doing what *she want wants.

YANBU

No way I would pay that

YANBU for being annoyed that she spent your money without checking.

A cocktail in a fancy location can totally be worth the silly prices. The old American Bar at the Savoy is great for a special occasion. Travel by transport then pick up a taxi in the Strand in order to arrive in style.

Pre-purchasing four without checking with me ? That would not work for me.

I would be more likely to keep the cocktail glass and drink loads of water between rounds. If you are there all night you might easily see something better that you would like to try and be stuck with things already paid for. Which will certainly not stay cool at the rate I would drink and very likely get upset by someone else having fun if you don't guard them all night.

Oh, oh. Hope the weekend goes ok. Have you been away together before? Does she usually take the lead in this way?

Spending other people’s money isn’t on. That should have been discussed first.

Enjoy your weekend.

I would request not having a tree, but having them brought out separately if possible. Otherwise only the first one will be freshly made.

YABU for letting someone else spend your money. Just say nope. She does it because she gets away with it.

The only time something remotely like this happened to me was on a high school trip and my class mate tried to dump half the cost of a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter on me without asking. Nope. The end.

Cloud 23.She says it's got great views

Can't say I noticed the views, I was too gobsmacked at the amount of people wearing miniscule frocks when there was snow on the ground outside.

I believe some people go there in the hope of meeting a footballer!

A good pornstar martini is very, very good - there's a bar near me (also in Manchester, but not the city centre!) that does one of the freshest, nicest ones I've ever drunk.

But I'd be pissed off too that she didn't check first. Enjoy Manchester though! And be aware it's Pride, so it will be verrrrrrrry busy - you might want to see if you can book something in ASAP for food etc to definitely get a table.

@ActonSquirrel

Good god. Cocktails were £13 each in the Sky Garden in London!

That is factoring in paying for a view and experience. Could order any drink you wanted not all the same.

Sod paying £15 each for martini's in Manchester.

To be fair, you're also paying for the view in Manchester.

£15 isn't toooo bad if you get amazing views and it's a one off...

Our lovely local bar has trees of pornstar martinis and they're £50 for 6 (more expensive if you buy them as singles) but it isn't in town.

My only issue would be that 2 is my limit and I love sweet drinks! I'd have to move onto French 75's then espresso martinis ❤

YANBU. She was unreasonable to book this without discussion and doubly so for her reaction to call you stingy rather than apologising.

Hope you enjoy the weekend.

I might have one cocktail on a night out, possibly two, but not 4. I agree it's a waste of money. Everyone has a different budget so she have checked with your first (or made it her treat)