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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend said I'm "stingy" am I ? Aibu ?

248 replies

sarahlou55k · 27/08/2021 14:53

Me and my friend are going to Manchester tomorrow.
We are going for 2 nights for shopping /food and drinks.
We love a cocktail and said we will have to have a couple of cocktails.

She messages me a hour ago telling me she's booked some fancy place with a skyline view ??
And she's paid for a cocktail tree
It's 8 pornstar martinis and it's £120
So it's £60 each

I told her that was expensive and she really should have asked first
She said "oh stop being stingy it will be fab"

So I've paid £60 for 4 pornstar martinis
£15 each !!
Please someone tell me they agree that £60 for 4 drinks is ridiculous?
I was thinking revolution /slug and lettuce 2 for £10 or 2for £12
Not £60 for 4

I'm annoyed
Aibu ?

OP posts:
CharlotteRose90 · 27/08/2021 16:29

I live in Manchester myself and that’s about average for the places I drink in . If you want a cheap night go to Wetherspoons you’re defo stingy in my eyes sorry.

MadameMinimes · 27/08/2021 16:29

I wouldn’t mind paying £15 for a really nice cocktail in a nice place. But I’d want to choose it myself and I wouldn’t want 4 of the same thing, nor would I want 4 of anything brought over all at once. By the time you get to the 4th one it will be warm and a bit crap.

YADNBU to be pissed off that something so expensive was booked without her asking you. It’s really not on.

cardibach · 27/08/2021 16:29

@SprayedWithDettol

I think it is more acceptable to call it a passion fruit martini now.
But doesn’t ‘pornstar martini’ include a glass/small shot of Prosecco too? Which a passionfruit martini doesn’t… I’d definitely want 4 different cocktails so would feel cheated by this deal.
IntermittentParps · 27/08/2021 16:30

If you want a cheap night go to Wetherspoons
The point is the OP DID want to do that. The friend made another decision, on her behalf.

helentomelon · 27/08/2021 16:30

Hmmm... well you're not paying for the drinks, you're paying for the venue. So you can check in on social media and photograph your drinks. Also, the trees of 8 aren't for 2 people as the drinks will go warm and flat.

Top location in Manchester or london or similar Id expect that price roughly.

It's weird she didn't check though as people would usually have a discussion around whether it was to be a fancy trip or a budget one.

ActonSquirrel · 27/08/2021 16:32

@CharlotteRose90

I live in Manchester myself and that’s about average for the places I drink in . If you want a cheap night go to Wetherspoons you’re defo stingy in my eyes sorry.
So you'd decide your friend wanted 4 of the same drink in one session at £15 each??

Wow

helentomelon · 27/08/2021 16:34

I just had to look it up. It's £13 for one pornstar so you're paying £2 per drink extra for it to be on the tree. I find that strange and a rip off as multiple prints are usually cheaper than singles if anything

Chloemol · 27/08/2021 16:37

YANBU and tbh I wouldn’t have transferred the money

diddl · 27/08/2021 16:38

I would have thought you'd get a discount for having 8 delivered at once, not have to pay more!

JayAlfredPrufrock · 27/08/2021 16:39

Oh are you going to look really daft having a tree for just two of you?

Darthwader · 27/08/2021 16:40

Doesn't matter if they were only a fiver each. Nobody but you should be spending your money for you. If she's booked something for you without asking if you want to pay for it first then she must be treating you.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 27/08/2021 16:41

I put aside £120 for drinks and 2 meals for both nights and half now has gone

Given her ideas around spending, I'd be more worried about what she's hoping for the rest of the time you're there
You might want to check that before going any further ...

diddl · 27/08/2021 16:41

I don't think you're stingy btw Op.

TheWeatherWitch · 27/08/2021 16:41

£15 for a proper cocktail is about the right price. Those two jugs for a tenner type of deal are mostly soda water in my experience.

£120 on food and drinks for a weekend in a major city does seem a little unrealistic.
But I agree your friend was very wrong to book this without running it past you first.
Have a lovely weekend.

nettie434 · 27/08/2021 16:42

It sounds a bit like the Oxo Tower in London where the price of cocktails is about the same. I bet they did a hard sell when your friend booked because it's easier for the serving staff if everything is pre-ordered. For me, part of the pleasure of cocktails is to try something different and try a taste of the other person's drink.

Still, it's done now. It looks as if you will have an amazing view. I'm quite tempted to try a pornstar/passion fruit martini myself now but have no vodka or no passion fruit. I could make a negroni a bit later though....

As she chose tonight, presumably it's your choice tomorrow. Hope you both have a lovely time.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/08/2021 16:43

You're not stingy, she's a cheeky mare just booking that without checking first! I wouldn't bloody pay it either, that's really expensive!

MadameMinimes · 27/08/2021 16:43

A passion fruit martini is definitely a different drink to a porn star martini in my mind.

I wouldn’t expect a passion fruit martini to come with a shot of Prosecco, nor would I necessarily expect it to be made with vanilla vodka.

girlmom21 · 27/08/2021 16:46

@Lweji

Wikipedia says pornstar martinis should be accompanied by a glass of prosecco. So, two drinks for the price of one. Make sure you get it.
It's not a proper glass, it's a shot of Prosecco
Original poster
sarahlou55k · 27/08/2021 16:47

I didn't want to go to Wetherspoons but I did want something more affordable than £60 if I'm honest.
I'm from Middlesbrough so not really used to paying those prices.
For example last night went for an Italian in the city centre
2 starters
2 mains (chicken and a steak )
2 soft drinks £26
So I think big city prices do shock me a bit as I'm not used to them

OP posts:
iklboo · 27/08/2021 16:48

@sarahlou55k - sod that. If it rains you'll see bugger all. And I live in Manchester. Go to Atlas Bar down the road for loads of gins or Dirty Martini in the opposite direction.

girlmom21 · 27/08/2021 16:49

I think you were dreaming with the idea of £60 per night for meals and drinks to be honest, but I'd be pissed at paying £60 for 4 of the same cocktail. If you're paying £15 for cocktails you at least want some variety.

NotMyCat · 27/08/2021 16:49

Cloud 23 definitely not cheap! My mum once left a mouthful of wine and my dad was "that's £4 worth, give it here" Grin
They were funny about entry last time we went even though my dad had rung and checked about the dress code Hmm

helentomelon · 27/08/2021 16:51

I guess actually, thinking about it, whether or not you're stingy depends on how well off you are. If you've got plenty of money but choose to go to slug and lettuce or spoons on a weekend away with your friend then that's stingy. But if you don't have much money then you're not

EmotionalSupportBear · 27/08/2021 16:56

its Pride weekend in Manchester.. i expect a lot of things will be busy/have inflated prices.

BarbaraofSeville · 27/08/2021 16:58

@PalmsandCharms

I'm more shocked that you thought £120 was sufficient for two nights drinking and 2 meals in Manchester tbh. Were you thinking wetherspoons and maccy d's?
Well in Manchester, my first choice would be Bundobust, where £30 would get you 2 of their street food items and 3-4 pints of craft beer, which would be me happy for one night. Even if I added on a nice G&T somewhere, it's not going to be more than £40.

Leaving £80 which would be more than enough for tapas and cocktails at El Gato Negro, which surely is fancy enough for anyone?