To feel guilty I got drunk at wedding

[Ida83]

I recently went to a wedding with my partner and my 3 year old son.
It’s usually my husband who likes to drink but somehow on this occasion I drank a little more wine than usual and got drunk. The next day I realised there were parts of the evening I didn’t recall at all and since I have been feeling extremely guilty about my son.
My husband said he stopped drinking very early on and took the lead care role (even drive home so was not drunk at all) but I still feel massively guilty that I wasn’t being responsible and was not looking after my son. I keep thinking that anything could have happened to him. I have resounded to not let this happen again at all but I still feel very guilty that it happened. AIBU?

If your husband was at home looking after your son, would you be this guilty? Your son was being taken care of. He is ok. The what ifs are just intrusive thoughts and they are no good for you.

I don’t drink because I forget things after one drink, I’m useless. That’s why I could never do it while I was in charge of anyone. Put it behind you now. Good luck.

@rattlemehearties

Are you concerned about your child witnessing you drunk?

Seriously? I don't think there is anyone who hasn't seen a parent drunk at least once!

OP it is not a big deal. There is nothing wrong with getting drunk occasionally. It's not the worst thing to happen. His father was with him and you. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

No issue here. Stop feeling guilty. Parenting isn't all on you

As a child I saw my mum really drunk a couple of times. I never saw my dad drunk, or at least I never saw him act as if he was drunk. But the reality is that my mum rarely drinks and so if she did it went to her head pretty quickly. My dad is an alcoholic. I mean by anyone's standards he is alcohol dependent. Doesn't matter if you're one of the MNers who thinks a glass of wine a night is too much. or one of the MNers who steadfastly defends the right to neck a litre of gin a night on the grounds that it's fine and everyone does it. my dad is an alcoholic.

My conclusion from all this is that occasionally seeing my mum a bit pissed is neither here nor there. My dad being an alcoholic has been immensely damaging, but he never looks pissed because he's very practised at hiding it.

I’d address the fact you’ve not even been out for lunch, let alone the evening, in 3 years. You don’t cease to be a person who needs friends and to let off steam just because you have a child. Sounds like you’ve got lost in being a ‘mummy’ and need to find yourself

Your son will be fine op. It's ok to let your hair down, especially at a wedding!

Yabu. You're basically saying your husband isnt capable of looking after your son by himself. 'Anything could have happened' with his sober parent in charge, just because it's not you? You got a bit tipsy and forgot some probably irrelevant things, you didn't scar him for life by dancing naked on the table and getting arrested in front of him

And I mean this kindly but it's really not common and not that good for you to not have a lunch or night out with friends since your son was born 3 years ago. I can understand the intense knackering newborn stage but he is old enough for pre school now, for babysitters, to spend the weekend with his dad while you go a city break, everything. You aren't any less of a good mum because you do things for yourself occasionally. It might be stifling for your son when he is older if he knows you gave up so mucy in your life, just for him

Hey, OP.
Try and let go of the guilt and not let it mar the experience of this family wedding.
I'm not sure why you're still so hard on yourself a few weeks down the line, but that's something probably only you can figure out.
Sounds like you have a good partnership with your OH.
Give yourself permission to have some child free time, even if it's sober fun.

You did nothing wrong op, probably you're freaked out because you got drunker than you meant to, but no harm done. In future so you don't have to suffer the guilt, plan ahead with your dh and agree whose turn it is to be in charge of your son, and who gets to properly enjoy the occasion. And enjoy your nights off😁

I have memory blanks without alcohol, relax 🎉

@Noshowwithoutpunch

I'm sure you raised a few eyebrows.

Probably not considering loads of people get pissed at weddings

Ffs it was one night at a wedding g and the child was being taken care of by their other parent! A lot of people on here need to lighten up!

Apart from the fact he was being cared for by his other parent it was a family wedding, he wasn't playing chicken on the motorway.

I thought a lot of people get merry at weddings. Well on all the films I've seen and real life ones I've attended

This is typical ‘ beer fear’ you had fun and let your hair down, your DH was driving so you all got home safely ….stop worrying

I wouldn’t even care about this, you let your hair done for a few hrs while your dh was looking after his son.

Nothing to be guilty over, only think I’d give advise on is to remember that wine etc has high percentage of alcohol in them.

Are you feeling any better today @Ida83?

It’s fine. Nothing to worry about. Let it go!

So no one else might think it’s a bit cheeky if not agreed in advance that one party gets really drunk and the other has to stop?

That’s the only thing I think I might be a bit annoyed about. All the points about letting hair down and you being fine to drink are perfectly valid

No, sometimes a relationship is about give and take not joyless advance micromanagement.

@BillMasen

So no one else might think it’s a bit cheeky if not agreed in advance that one party gets really drunk and the other has to stop?

That’s the only thing I think I might be a bit annoyed about. All the points about letting hair down and you being fine to drink are perfectly valid

Her husband was driving so I assume he always knew he wasn’t drinking.

Ah, good spot and probable reading comprehension fail on my part. Ignore my point 😀