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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel guilty I got drunk at wedding

124 replies

Ida83 · 26/08/2021 16:40

I recently went to a wedding with my partner and my 3 year old son.
It’s usually my husband who likes to drink but somehow on this occasion I drank a little more wine than usual and got drunk. The next day I realised there were parts of the evening I didn’t recall at all and since I have been feeling extremely guilty about my son.
My husband said he stopped drinking very early on and took the lead care role (even drive home so was not drunk at all) but I still feel massively guilty that I wasn’t being responsible and was not looking after my son. I keep thinking that anything could have happened to him. I have resounded to not let this happen again at all but I still feel very guilty that it happened. AIBU?

OP posts:
earsup · 26/08/2021 17:57

dont worry...my friend drank too much at a wedding last week..stood on main table...quoted shakespeare and chucked a chair at some one...!!

ParkheadParadise · 26/08/2021 17:59

No judgement from me.

I've been to weddings in the past when both DH and I have been pished, dd had a ball playing with all the other kids whose parents were also pished. There is always a sober adult about to look after them 🤪🤪

Bluntness100 · 26/08/2021 18:00

I’d not be bothered by this, your husband was there, your son was safe, it didn’t require two of you

To be honest I’d feel more bad about getting so drunk at someone’s wedding I was having black outs.

user47000000000 · 26/08/2021 18:01

Please relax! You’ve done nothing wrong!

You had fun and enjoyed yourself. Your child was safe. Stop with the beer fear and the mum guilt. Life is hard enough without you beating yourself up!

DoYouLikeOwls · 26/08/2021 18:05

@Bluntness100

I’d not be bothered by this, your husband was there, your son was safe, it didn’t require two of you

To be honest I’d feel more bad about getting so drunk at someone’s wedding I was having black outs.

I'm sure she want the only one.
Original poster
Ida83 · 26/08/2021 18:06

Since my son was born, I haven’t had a night out or even a lunch out with friends. Partly because of Covid but even before then I just didn’t want to. So no I don’t drink masses and probably why it went to my head abit more. There were no shots or spirits just a few glasses of wine. I have defo learnt my lesson. I ask my husband about it a lot and say I feel guilty and he just pushes it aside so was no issue to him. They were plenty of other and more drunk people there than me so I don’t believe there were any raised eye brows but not all had children there so I guess that’s the difference!

Thankyou to those who posted kind comments - I appreciate them Smile

OP posts:
riotlady · 26/08/2021 18:06

Seriously fine.

Look at it this way- if your DH had taken your son to the wedding on his own, would you be crippled with guilt that you weren’t watching him? No. So why does it matter that you were also there and not watching him every second?

Vimtogenie · 26/08/2021 18:08

I voted yabu as your husband was there. You’re a team. He stepped up & you let your hair down for a bit. Sounds like a one off so cut yourself some slack.

Kittykat93 · 26/08/2021 18:12

@FangsForTheMemory

Do you know how much you drank? did you definitely drink enough to be drunk, or is it possible your drink was spiked?

How did you leap to that??? Jesus op said she had a few too many wines, she wasn't spiked ffs

Kittykat93 · 26/08/2021 18:12

Oh and also op,.stop worrying about this. It's really not a big deal at all.

ActonSquirrel · 26/08/2021 18:14

Why does letting your hair down mean drinking to the extent you can't remember the night and your partner has to take over care of the child and you??

There is no other way to relax?!

viques · 26/08/2021 18:19

I think as long as you didn’t pee in your OH shoes or in the wardrobe it doesn’t count as a MN total drunk event.

DoYouLikeOwls · 26/08/2021 18:22

Wasn't

PartyPotato · 26/08/2021 18:26

Jesus Christ she wasn’t Girl On The Train style blackout drunk, waking up in a ditch. She had a few too many and got a bit silly, as lots of people do at weddings, and there’s a few gaps in the evening. As OP has said, she’s not used to drinking that much. No wonder she can’t remember every single second of the evening. So judgemental here🙄
OP you’re fine, it happens to the best of us. DS was being looked after by DP, no harm done.

AhDiddums · 26/08/2021 18:27

@CaptainPicardsToupee if only we could all be as perfect as you and your parents Biscuit

CaptainPicardsToupee · 26/08/2021 18:28

Don't think it's that hard in life to not get blazing drunk in front of your kids, but if that makes me perfect I'll take it GrinThanks Thanks

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/08/2021 18:30

Your DH had taken the lead role so i think it was fine! Take it in turns to be the “lead parent” at events and all is good.

NannyOggsward · 26/08/2021 18:30

Meh ignore the pearly grabbing posters, your kids dad was in charge!!!

Zero guilt needed. Would you feel guilty if he had your son and you were out on the lash with the girls? No. So why does it matter just because you were in the same location?

Ugzbugz · 26/08/2021 18:30

Oh for goodness sake, my memory often goes once I've slept, i can remember the evening, then getting out of the cab might disappear then eating food will be there. If I was para I wouldn't be able to make food.

Its fine OP, you had a good time and your husband was in charge of your child.

No one would batter an eye lid if this was the husband.

BertramLacey · 26/08/2021 18:31

he didn’t at all and he would never drink drive with our son in the car - ever. It was hours since he had his ‘last drink’.

He shouldn't drink drive at all. Where your son is makes sod all difference. It's not okay to put other people's sons and daughters at risk either.

As for the other stuff, I really cannot see a problem. Does you husband feel guilty that he cannot supervise your son 24/7? Of course he bloody doesn't. You got drunk at a wedding, honestly it's the only thing that makes most weddings vaguely bearable. Your husband saw what was happening, stayed sober, looked after your son and drove you all home. Job done.

NannyOggsward · 26/08/2021 18:33

@CaptainPicardsToupee I’ve seen my mum chucking up in a sink once, she never usually drank so it went straight to drink.

We rib her about it to this day. Totally non abused healthy adult here!

Stop with the guilt OP

SillyLittleBiscuit · 26/08/2021 18:33

I wonder how many men have ever felt guilty about having one too many and their wife stepping up.

Don’t give it another thought.

BillinaTheChickenQueen · 26/08/2021 18:45

Aibu is the cesspit of MN.
Please don’t take any of the judgemental comments to heart.
If you had posted judging a woman at a wedding who was drunk while her husband looked after their child they would have their arse handed to them on a plate.
It doesn’t matter who you are or what your situation is you will be criticised simply because that’s what the behaviour is like on here.

LizzieVereker · 26/08/2021 18:46

Absolutely no harm done.

Sounds like your son was perfectly safe and you all had a good time. Try not to worry OP Flowers - I know that’s easier said than done though!

anotherday235 · 26/08/2021 18:48

I think alcohol can catch you out a bit especially if you haven't drunk much for a while. Sounds like you were just having a fun time while your husband took responsibility. It would only have been an issue if you were both out of it. Biggest mistake you made was to post on here!!