To enjoy being a bit skint

[Welcometotheterrorzone]

I realise this might sound really privileged to some.
We are by no means struggling to pay our mortgage or buy food. We both have alright jobs, low paid but steady and enough to pay for a lovely house in a rough part of town. Like I said, we do alright but have to budget in order to have Christmas and holidays. We camp, we don't eat out, we share subscriptions with friends, we have one car, we buy second hand everything, we use freetogo apps etc to save. I am an obsessive yellow sticker shopper and do not pay full price for any meat, bread, milk or fruit as I hit different supermarkets at different times and have a huge freezer to store it all in. We eat veggie 70% of the time too.
Yesterday it was a one off treat day for DS as he's starting school. I had £24 for the day and no access to anymore money. We had such a lovely time, bakery lunch, went to a national trust place where just going in the grounds is a lot cheaper than tickets for the house so did that, treated them to an ice lolly and found a Poundland on the way home for a toy instead of getting (the same quality) toy in the gift shop. I was a bit worried at one point as we walked past this amazing sweet shop and I thought that they were going to ask for something I couldn't afford (only had £2 left by this point as we were on our way to the train station) but brilliantly they had a reduced section with these Harry Potter chocolate bars for 50p so still had a £1 at the end of it.
My aibu is that I don't want to lose this feeling of joy that we have found something that fits our budget and makes me feel like I'm treating them. I've had times where I felt really down that I can't just say 'choose whatever you like' but I think every parent sets limits so I'm not being unnecessary harsh. I'm trying to teach them to find pleasure in small things, and that finding the right toy in a charity shop is better than going to a big toy shop full of plastic where you can choose anything. I hope they don't resent me for it.
Luckily it's payday tomorrow!

MN is always about a race to the bottom.

You can't ever be skint, because someone is always more skint than you.

FWIW, I get it, @Welcometotheterrorzone. I remember penny pinching when I was younger and poor, and whilst it's nice not having to worry about money these days, I do remember the joy of finding a nice yellow sticked product, or being able to stack discount codes to swing presents for family for cheap.

It's not really about wanting to stay 'skint' forever - and by 'skint', you can use whatever definition you like - it's about never wanting to let go of the joy in life.

I feel pretty miserable right now. If I had no money, it would be worse, but having money doesn't necessarily equate with joy.

You do you, let the vipers do them. Stay happy.

Good god the people on here going on about how 'insensitive' and 'privileged' the OP is when half the posts on here are about how your husband earns £100k but won't pay for shopping, or how the nanny/cleaner/butler has BU, or how your neighbour is a CF for parking over your driveway so you can't get your second car in.

The OP can still be considered insensitive even though other people are more insensitive, though.

I think the point you’re trying to make is that being frugal with young children can be a good thing…
Wait until they are teenagers though and want branded stuff to keep up with their mates. Plus cash for cinema and burgers

My 19 year old isn’t like this. And nor are his close
friends that I know.

Not all teens are materialistic or oblivious to the value of money.

Agree this is a poor phrasing issue, saying she enjoys being skint and is crying about her tax credits and getting the leccy switched off but going to spend 24 quid on a day out is poorly worded, if she said I enjoy seeing the value in money and budgeting it would be very different.

@EatYourVegetables

People are being really harsh to the OP. I know not everyone has £24 for the day out and some people don’t have £24 for the week, but this is a forum where last week everyone agreed that spending £8K on a second hand watch is a good investment, that Birkin bags are the only really good bags, that you should never date a man who doesn’t drive, and that a child needs a new bag, pencil case and a water bottle every year.

Enjoy your days out on a budget, OP.

Absolutely agree!

The OP can still be considered insensitive even though other people are more insensitive, though.

She's clearly not insensitive at all. It's the fact that she's sensitive and self-aware and a bit apologetic in her OP that made people think she was weak and would be an easy target for a kicking.

And FWIW I don't think people posting about their butler problems are being insensitive either. People are allowed to talk about their lives. If those posts make you roll your eyes, you can just move on.

@beastlyslumber

Good god the people on here going on about how 'insensitive' and 'privileged' the OP is when half the posts on here are about how your husband earns £100k but won't pay for shopping, or how the nanny/cleaner/butler has BU, or how your neighbour is a CF for parking over your driveway so you can't get your second car in.

Sadly, some people are just always looking for a sign of what they consider weakness so they can stick the boot in. OP, you sound lovely. Don't apologise for your situation, and don't let the idiots ruin your day.

Agree 100%

[quote Welcometotheterrorzone]@icedcoffees I've been really skint. I've been the person crying on the phone to HMRC when they stopped my tax credits for six months. Ive had to explain to my boss that I would have to resign as no tax credits means I can't afford childcare so therefore won't be able to work. I've still got debt from that time. Things are a lot better now that I'm not paying childcare for two kids. What my post was saying was that I don't want to lose this, I don't want to ever think that finding a quid isn't really exciting. I don't want to become. This choice (being able to spend money) is sometimes daunting (as there were days when I couldn't ever spend money) and I find it hard to not go crazy and buy my kids everything. [/quote]
The problem is, the downside to being excited over finding a quid is being in the horrors when you need one and can't find it. So, while I get your point about not losing sight of gratitude, and empathise with the feeling of satisfaction you get from being savvy and making the most of limited money, I wouldn't describe it as an enjoyment of being skint. Being truly skint can be terrifying and stressful as you know yourself, so I'd pick comfortable every time.

@Blankscreen

I think the op chose an unfortunately worded title.

If she had said 'to enjoy budgeting' it would have been met with a different response

It is a odd choice of title but I understand the point she was making. She was pleased with herself for having a nice day out for £24.

Obviously some people on here will blow £24 every day on just ice creams others have £24 for the whole holiday.

That doesn't take away from the substance of the OP.

Some people love to get offended.

100% this.

Can't believe the vitriol on this thread.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

It is patronising, op has previously said they have spent £1700 on a holiday cottage, and booked a museum at £20 per person and kids who only give a shit about gift shops, yet has also had the electric cut off twice this summer and lost freezers full of food?

Shes come on to tell us how great it is to be a bit skint, when she absolutely has no concept of it at all, apart from in her own mind.

Share tips on how to have a cheap day out, even share that you've had a lovely day out, but don't come on stating that being a bit skint is great when you're clearly not skint at all.

I seriously doubt the electricity story, OP just needed to redirect the stream of indignation

This thread is so nasty. It's just dozens of people who are statistically extremely likely to be significantly better off than the OP (someone posted a helpful link upthread to compare household income nationally) pretending to be outraged on behalf of the very poorest people in society so they can give someone a good kicking. MN demographics being what they are, some of these people attacking the OP for calling herself skint when she's managed to scrape together £24 over the summer to treat her kid to ONE day out in the school holidays will be earning 6 figures (and more) themselves. Now thats offensive.

Is it OK to call yourself skint if you survive on benefits and rely on a foodbank? Or actually is that really offensive because some people are literally living on the streets or in homeless hostels with only the clothes on their back? It's all relative and it's not a race to the bottom.

Someone who has twice in recent months been unable to pay their electric bill (a basic necessity) and who has managed to scrape together £24 over the course of the summer for one day out is skint. That indicates a significantly lower than average household income.

@Balonzette

Some MN posters are literally offended by EVERYTHING.

Yep. I can imagine tnem foaming at the mouth.

One of the most tone deaf posts I have ever read on here. Why post this?

This thread is so nasty. It's just dozens of people who are statistically extremely likely to be significantly better off than the OP (someone posted a helpful link upthread to compare household income nationally) pretending to be outraged on behalf of the very poorest people in society so they can give someone a good kicking.

100% this.

Frugal is a choice. Skint is not
Very insensitive post

The mumsnet Rush to Judge!

Ignore the question, look for moral failings, this proves that we are nice ladies, not like that horrid OP.

@Dixiechickonhols

What back up plans do you make every single time you walk out the door? What a ridiculous dramatisation. Honestly I really do wonder about the air bubbles that come out of people’s brains! That’s really stretching @dixie. Lol

Anyone who can't understand the nuance of the OP's post is dim.
They're not dim. They are looking to be offended by something, to showcase their own loveliness, that's how social media works.

I think you are very lucky, recently early retired, have an eye problem, and unable to drive currently, so getting all yellow stickers too hard.
( as it is for lots). Due to sight issue being out too much stresses and tired me out.
Just coping

This race to the bottom shit on here is boring.

The people yelling at the OP about how she’s not skint and they are as they have even less than her are also rich when compared to farmers daughters in Mogadishu. For fucks sake. Get a grip, it’s embarrassing.

@araiwa

Op,

Do you come from Greece?
Do you have a thirst for knowledge?

🤣🤣🤣

Its all relative. I am reasonably comfortably off but feel quite poor if I read the designer bag threads on here. Of my two dozen Mullberrys my favourite one is ....

@GinPin2- exactly this🙂.