To enjoy being a bit skint

[Welcometotheterrorzone]

I realise this might sound really privileged to some.
We are by no means struggling to pay our mortgage or buy food. We both have alright jobs, low paid but steady and enough to pay for a lovely house in a rough part of town. Like I said, we do alright but have to budget in order to have Christmas and holidays. We camp, we don't eat out, we share subscriptions with friends, we have one car, we buy second hand everything, we use freetogo apps etc to save. I am an obsessive yellow sticker shopper and do not pay full price for any meat, bread, milk or fruit as I hit different supermarkets at different times and have a huge freezer to store it all in. We eat veggie 70% of the time too.
Yesterday it was a one off treat day for DS as he's starting school. I had £24 for the day and no access to anymore money. We had such a lovely time, bakery lunch, went to a national trust place where just going in the grounds is a lot cheaper than tickets for the house so did that, treated them to an ice lolly and found a Poundland on the way home for a toy instead of getting (the same quality) toy in the gift shop. I was a bit worried at one point as we walked past this amazing sweet shop and I thought that they were going to ask for something I couldn't afford (only had £2 left by this point as we were on our way to the train station) but brilliantly they had a reduced section with these Harry Potter chocolate bars for 50p so still had a £1 at the end of it.
My aibu is that I don't want to lose this feeling of joy that we have found something that fits our budget and makes me feel like I'm treating them. I've had times where I felt really down that I can't just say 'choose whatever you like' but I think every parent sets limits so I'm not being unnecessary harsh. I'm trying to teach them to find pleasure in small things, and that finding the right toy in a charity shop is better than going to a big toy shop full of plastic where you can choose anything. I hope they don't resent me for it.
Luckily it's payday tomorrow!

You are part of the 'poor' middle class and don't know what it means to be 'skint'.The soul destroying depravation of real poverty is a different thing entirely.

I actually don't like the sound of your life: hate camping and second hand and enjoy eating out. That all sounds pretty joyless to me.

And I'd hate to have to shop at loads of different supermarkets.

Oh ffs. Why don't you pull this shit on other threads where people are talking about their cars/houses/handbags/school fees/nannies etc etc?

I agree with this.

You enjoy being frugal, not skint. Big difference.

Agree with NewPapuaGuinea that using frugal or thrifty might have avoided all the negative posts but there is no need to be so critical of the OP when there is no actual measure of skint. Lots of people say 'I'm skint until payday' the day before they are paid.

There's a good analysis of poverty which points out that there are many definitions of poverty. One factor is whether you are looking at income after tax and income when housing and utility costs have been paid. We all accept that a single person who earns £20k will have a below average income in the UK. However, they are better off than a family on £20k per year:

fullfact.org/economy/poverty-uk-guide-facts-and-figures/

The number of people needing to use food banks in the UK is disgraceful. Benefit levels do not cover most people's idea of an adequate income. What I took from the the OP's post is that by being very careful, she has saved up enough money to have a nice day out. I've just looked up the cost of a day at Chessington World of Adventure. A ticket with a meal and drink voucher bought on the day is £65 per person aged over 3. That puts the day's expenditure in context just as much as comparing the OP with families who could not afford either type of day out.

I completely agree with those pointing out that there are so many threads on here about designer handbags, new kitchens, and buying houses in expensive areas. It is unkind to criticise the OP who is trying to do the best for her family on a much more limited income.

If you don’t feel like you are losing all your hair from stress then you are absolutely not skint.

OP, I'm glad you such arrant joy in budgeting and enjoying the simple things in life.
Yes, you are right; you do sound privileged.
I don't think you have any notion of what it is to experience crushing penury.
I'm sure that I and others who struggle to make ends meet love to hear experiences of people 'playing at pauper'.

@SisterJude. Wow. You win the award for nastiest comment on the thread.

‘@SisterJude. Wow. You win the award for nastiest comment on the thread.’

Sisterjude was nowhere near as nasty as some others on this thread going out of their way to make a woman who clearly isn’t rolling in it feel bad for having the ‘luxury’ of having 24 whole pounds at the end of the month.

The competitive poverty is what’s nasty. If people want to get into a competition over who’s poorest I’m sure the woman I saw in Tangiers a few years ago who was holding a stray cat, looked skinny as fuck, had all kids of sores on her face, was begging for food from shops and was chased away by a shop owner with a squirty bottle of water is probably worse off than any of the people on this thread.

I get what the OP was trying to say, it was poorly worded so people jumped on it.

I have been truly skint. Now I’m ok. I am frugal and yes, when you aren’t worrying about how you’re going to be paying for basics, there is pleasure to be had from making your money last. But it’s true that pleasure comes from privilege. It’s not so enjoyable when it’s necessary, it’s pure misery then.

I do agree with what some others have said in that why is everyone jumping on the OP so much given the multiple other threads about expensive purchases. She made a mistake in her wording, it happens. I did the same with a thread once and I got slaughtered. And the more you try and explain the more some posters use it to beat you even more. It isn’t nice being on the receiving end. Just do what I did OP, hide the thread and name change!

I don't think you have any notion of what it is to experience crushing penury.

She didn't say she did. She said she was skint, which to a lot of people just means that money is pretty tight. I would say that having to save £24 over the course of the summer to spend on a single day out with your child in the school holidays is having pretty tight finances.

If you don’t feel like you are losing all your hair from stress then you are absolutely not skint. hmm

Says who? Is that the official definition?

People are beating OP around the head with their own definitions of a word that is just slang. It has no real definition. It only means that someone has limited money, not the extent to which their money is limited. Being a bit skint to most people does not mean "crushing penury" or abject poverty FFS.

A new Mumsnet jostle for virtue - skintier than thou.

The winner to be decided by a panel of nice ladies with darling husbands doing something in the City

I know what you mean op and I agree with pp's that you enjoy being frugal.

I'm the same. Having been skint in the past (properly, not having enough to pay the basic bills skint) I also now enjoy being frugal at times.

It gives me a feeling of, I don't know...satisfaction and security, I guess...to get to the end of the month and realise we've not spent as much money as we could have afforded to.

‘The winner to be decided by a panel of nice ladies with darling husbands doing something in the City’

Their husbands also have to have a mysterious ‘hobby’ which is probably just cycling.

[quote JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil]‘@SisterJude. Wow. You win the award for nastiest comment on the thread.’

Sisterjude was nowhere near as nasty as some others on this thread going out of their way to make a woman who clearly isn’t rolling in it feel bad for having the ‘luxury’ of having 24 whole pounds at the end of the month.

The competitive poverty is what’s nasty. If people want to get into a competition over who’s poorest I’m sure the woman I saw in Tangiers a few years ago who was holding a stray cat, looked skinny as fuck, had all kids of sores on her face, was begging for food from shops and was chased away by a shop owner with a squirty bottle of water is probably worse off than any of the people on this thread.[/quote]
I wasn't particularly referring to nastiness to the OP as such. It was the breezy 'relying on charity shops and poundstretchers is not something to be proud of', that got to me....

@thebeatingofthedrums explained it so much better than me. It's holding onto the joy of life!

Exactly! I would hate to have to bring my kids up thinking this was a life to aspire to. It isn't! Relying on charity shops and poundstretcher is not something to be proud of

It's nothing to be ashamed of either.

Why is op getting a hard time?
The poster who said she only had £24 for the 6 weeks of the summer holidays?

Really don’t love the posts dripping with envy over someone who is regularly given free food to feed her children. That’s not something to envy.

Thai turned out to be a very nasty benefit bashing thread really, didn’t it? Those ‘lovely friends’ you like so much but can’t help getting little digs in about.

I preferred it when it just seemed a bit tasteless and lacking in insight.

You've got such a hard time for this post!
I get the wording is a little off but I genuinely don't feel you set out to be offensive.
I think it's definitely subjective. I would personally say you were skint. Having no money at all in savings and only £24 for a one off treat in the school holidays with the kids is hardly lavish. I get not everyone can afford to even do that but bloody hell... you've saved up a bit of cash and stretched it as far as it can go for a nice day out and the stick you getting is unreal.
My sister is totally skint too, in debt, but she does try to budget and rejig the outgoings so the kids can have a day at the seaside in the summer... it's a balancing act so her kids don't feel like they miss out 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Welcometotheterrorzone

I think I am skint. I don't ever have any money at the end of the week. If I had to pay for something today, I wouldn't be able to, my partner wouldn't either, we don't have savings we can access apart from the kids ones which are locked until 18. I think that's skint in many peoples books, not budgeting knowing you've got £800 in the bank. Having to budget so you can have a £25 day out at the end of the summer holidays is hardly flush. We chose this place rather than the wood or park as there was something as there was something of interest in this place for my son and it was his special day.

Ignore this competitive poverty, OP. I get what you mean. In years gone by I had no money for food, gas, electric, rent - it was always a struggle. This thread has all got a bit Four Yorkshiremen.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=ue7wM0QC5LE

The OP had a nice day on a modest budget. She has posted about how she had a special day with £24 including lunch for an adult and 2 children. The post was fine, and a good reminder that we don't need to spend a fortune to have a special treat day out.

Yeah that bit was fine.

But posting about enjoying being "skint" when you have what by some people's standards is a generous budget is crashingly insensitive.

And the paeans to the "feeling of joy" about playing at being poor are cringeworthy.

I'm sorry OP as this clearly came from a good place and you sound like a decent person at heart but you don't know what skint means and it comes across as a bit Marie Antoinette.

@icedcoffees

Good god the people on here going on about how 'insensitive' and 'privileged' the OP is when half the posts on here are about how your husband earns £100k but won't pay for shopping, or how the nanny/cleaner/butler has BU, or how your neighbour is a CF for parking over your driveway so you can't get your second car in.

The OP can still be considered insensitive even though other people are more insensitive, though.

Also, I don't know why that person is assuming that these are the same two groups of people?