AIBU to think my friend is intolerable?

[OceanTulip22]

I’ve NC for this and perfectly happy to say IABU as I probably am.

Have a friend I met through a club a three years ago. I then moved to a new city, but we stayed in contact and sometimes met for lunch, a coffee and often WhatsApp. We don’t normally, well haven’t spent time in more than 2 hour bursts. But usually she is a good laugh and I really like her, so I am probably being horrid.’

Anyways, friend and I are both recently single and friend asked if she could come stay for the week- as I live not far from the coast and we both don’t have holidays planned. We both have taken it as leave and she’s been here since Monday.

Well in all truthfulness, it’s been a bit of a nightmare. Friend has some habits that I’ve found irritating and not noticed before and we are only three days in, I’ll list them and I am probably being unreasonable.

1. I’ve been driving us around, and every time I put my hand up to thank a driver for letting us through, she also puts her hand up- so we are both putting our hands up. Why do I find this so irritating?

1. She has been saying wow to everything. If I make her a cup of tea she says “oh wow”, we went for lunch earlier and everything was wow. The starter, the main and the dessert. She even said “oh wow” when the waitress brought over the tap water.

1. Letting rip on the sofa, it’s constant. When eating or in the evening we’ve been watching films and she farts the whole way through. No IBS as far as I know but could have.

1. She keeps saying my house is haunted. I live in an old place, 1700’s. I’ve never felt anything untoward here. She’s told me twice that she’s seen something walk down my stairs and that she heard footsteps in my kitchen.

1. Lying? Ive heard her twice on the phone telling people that the cottage is in France when it’s in fact the UK?! And I’ve not said anything about it to her even though she knows I can hear her.

I guess I’m just disappointed that this week hasn’t turned out as planned and I definitely didn’t know her as well as I thought: I also feel terrible for these thoughts I’m having about her while she’s here!

So I guess is my friend intolerable?

Not necessarily intolerable, but you’re not compatible to live together. At least you have the answer if you ever pondered moving into together or starting a relationship with her! 😂

The only one that is intolerable is the farting and I’d have to say something.
1 and 2 are just her personality.
4 meh she’s into that sort of thing.
6 (what happened to 5) is weird but doesn’t really affect you.

😂😂 I'm so sorry op but this has made me laugh!
Lesson learnt, 2 hours together is enough!!

3 and 6 you have a point (where's 5?)

1 and 2 you sound really intolerant TBH. So what? These are clearly things she does more or less subconsciously. They're totally inoffensive and I can't imagine giving a shit about them really.

You are clearly incompatible but you are also very intolerant: do you generally struggle to spend time with people for long periods of time?

Well,she's not boring I suppose!😊
But points 2.3.4 and six I would say would be annoying,disgusting,alarming and deceitful.
I wonder if four and six are linked in that she tells lies to get attention?
Can you text a work colleague and ask her to get you called in to work so you can cut short her visit and not waste any more of your A/L? I appreciate that is also dishonest but the other option is to be honest and say she has to go because of the reasons above.
Or,have a quiet word and raise all points with her.
Good luck,it's nearly the weekend.

Op.. If your friend is on mumsnet.. They'll basically find you via this post 😳 she sounds insufferable.

Point 3 would annoy me but I had 3 brothers so I'd get over it. The rest I couldn't get worked to about.

The farting is horrible. The rest I could live with if she was really good company otherwise. Just sit out the rest of the week and firmly makes sure something similar never gets planned in the future.

I would tackle the antisocial farting by telling her to pack it in, but the rest would be mean to bring up.

Oh wow 😮

Argh I’m so stressed I missed 5! I’m sort of
Laughing (on the inside of course)

@pleasekeeptotheright

Oh wow 😮

Don’t hahah it’s been painful for me

How have you just sat there and not said anything about the farting?!

1 & 2 is nothing.

But the farting.... good lord...

The farting and the lying are a bit much, the others not really. I would put this one down to experience and avoid having her over again. You never know, she might have a list of things she finds annoying about you, in which case you can both never mention holidaying together again 😁

Some of these made me laugh 'oh wow' 🤣 it sounds like you've got the friendship ick!!! The last one is bizarre though!! You should definitely challenge her on that one!!

Reminds me of this quote "house guests are like fish - after 3 days they start to stink!"

It's a shame this has spoilt your friendship, but the fact is that you cannot now "unknow" these traits of hers that you find annoying. Best distance yourself, now you know she's not the person she seemed to be.

The lying is weird and something that would make me really uncomfortable. I want my friends to be genuine. The other stuff would piss me off. I guess the problem is you've mistaken someone who is essentially a good acquaintance for a firm friend.

It all points to her not being very respectful. You might have seen that coming given she more than likely actually invited herself to yours for a holiday.

Oh 1 is definitely a shooting offense. I don't know why it annoys me so much, but it makes me want to rip their eyes out and make a nice soup from them.

2 and 4 are just daft, 3 is unacceptable and 6 is weird, but it's also pretty weird to be prejudiced against the number 5...

The farting... who the fuck does that in someone else's home? That's a deal breaker. The lying is very alarming, and I wouldn't trust her.

The waving, wowing, and wooing I could tolerate for a week.

pleasekeeptotheright
Oh wow 😮
🤣🤣

She does sound intolerable to me really. The raising her hand when you do and the oh wow wouldn’t bother me, but the lying, the haunted nonsense and farting constantly would be irritating me.

Have you asked her about the lying? Like ‘just letting you know this is Cornwall hun not France. That’s why there’s a Tesco down the road and everyone’s speaking English.’

No, not intolerable. The first two are very sweet. The fibbing, not so much. The rest? She’s bigging it up. Maybe she’s equally disappointed?

Suggest next time spend a bit more time with someone before you holiday together. Recipe for disaster unless you know each other inside out (and in spite of that still like one another )

Yanbu total nut case 😂

No, not intolerable. The first two are very sweet. The fibbing, not so much. The rest? She’s bigging it up.

Farting on someone's sofa is bigging it up? 😳

I guess I've been doing it wrong.

Everything is intolerable. I would have to feign an urgent thing outside the house... send her home and, when the coast is clear, go back in.

I wouldn't tolerate any of that. Friendship ick as PP suggests does cover it.

Friend, be gone!

The farting and lying are definitely out of order. The hand thing would annoy the shit out of me but it's something I would do without thinking!