Partner of 2 years admits he finds ex wife attractive

[newlife22]

So … I made the mistake of asking my partner of 2 years if he still finds his ex wife attractive. They had dinner the other night with their two kids ( for clarification, I get on extremely well with both children AND the ex wife)
He said that if he is wasn’t going out with me, then yes he would find her attractive.
I said that makes absolutely no sense! We’ve had a fall out and both now stubbornly not messaging each other. Am I being unreasonable?

Well he married her and kids so of course he was attracted to her and may still be. Doesnt mean the marriage worked

‘I think you're getting an unreasonably hard time here OP.

It was maybe a silly question to ask, but you obviously felt a bit concerned because they were having dinner together, which I think is odd if he is in a new relationship with you.

IMO if he was genuinely into you he would have tried to reassure you and said something like "Yes of course I found her attractive once, but that's over now, I'm with you and we're obviously just friends now" etc. But he didn't say that and I can see why it's left you feeling anxious.’

Exactly this. Just because he found her attractive once and married her doesn’t mean he has to fancy her ‘for life’. He could have gone off her. Would I have asked him, probably not but I wouldn’t put the op down for wondering such a thing.