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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should my husband live in a caravan?

119 replies

caravanman · 25/08/2021 08:07

I hope this is not going to sound too far fetched. However, I need a little advice.

My husband and I have not lived together for several years. This is because his behaviour can be challenging and he needs a lot of private space (he has a disability). However, I support him and we see each other daily.

Whilst we have lived apart, he has lodged with an older acquaintance. The arrangement has worked well, but now his landlord's daughter is coming to live with her father, so my husband has to leave. He applied for rehousing by the local authority, but he turned down three offers and he now has to wait for a year before he can apply again.

He cannot live with me, due to the impact of his behaviour on our youngest son (early twenties) who has serious mental health issues.
He cannot live with his elderly mother and father (both late eighties)for similar reasons.

With a little help from me, he has bought a caravan and he intends to live there in a field on my brother's farm. My brother is also rather like my husband (possibly a similar disability). The caravan has a shower, heating and so on.

I will continue to see him on a daily basis and support him. However, am I being unreasonable to think that (despite any behavioural issues) a man in his early sixties, with a recognised disability, should not be living in a caravan in a field, and, if not, what are the alternatives?

OP posts:

ladyface69 · 27/08/2021 08:23

@caravanman it doesn't sound like a fun situation at all, but at least you can provide your children with some stability and chances to progress.
There will be planning issues if your husband hasn't applied for permission to stay in the caravan permanently, and it only takes one neighbor to report it to the council and the whole thing will come down in flames, causing more stress and anxiety for you and your husband. He could have enforcement officers round and be made to leave - homeless again. Is it worth the risk? Has your relative considered this? And how long is he staying there for? As Pp's have said unless your relative has a clear end date I suspect your husband will end up staying there long term.
I'd be speaking to social care now rather than waiting for it to go wrong.
You are in a difficult position and have my sympathy.

Oblomov21 · 27/08/2021 08:33

I agree with ladyface. Poor you. This is just an accident waiting to happen re the caravan after a year etc.

Engage SS now. To protect yourself from the trauma that will clearly happen. You have written so nicely here on this thread about him, his challenges, and why he decided to reject the 3 properties. Once you get the name of the next social worker, ask for their email, Cut and paste this thread and email. Then at least it will be in writing, There will be a paper trail and then they will not be able to deny what you have told them. This is very very important. The paper trail bit.

Hope you can get it all resolved.

Cornishclio · 27/08/2021 09:09

Given he has refused three offers of social housing and his family cannot live with him and assuming he cannot support himself in private rented I cannot see any alternative.

PieceOfString · 27/08/2021 09:09

I live in a caravan (on my building site) and you don't need planning permission to do that (I have even registered it as my address, pay council tax and get my bins emptied etc).
It might affect offers of social housing as he wouldn't be homeless (pondering, I don't know about this).
If his caravan is able to be heated and can provide for his basic needs I think it's fine (over 3 years in mine, very slow build 😆).
In fact there is a lot to be said for being in a farm in a caravan, nearby support network, peaceful neighbours for a start and if your brother is happy for him to have access to water etc that's viral. My main concern would be how he deals with toilet needs (if it's a box he has to empty etc) given he isn't one for forward thinking. But if it is a medium term thing maybe a proper soakaway could be set up.
I think you are a very decent human op.

PieceOfString · 27/08/2021 09:13

If you want to check the legalities of it, look up the caravan act (I forget the year, it might be 2001, there is a newer and an older iteration of it)

ladyface69 · 27/08/2021 17:06

@PieceOfString
I'm assuming then you have planning permission for your house build, in which case you are able to stay in a caravan on the plot as you own it. I know you can't just live in a caravan wherever you fancy nowadays as I have lived experience of the planning department telling me otherwise, sadly.
Unless OPs DH is going to be registered in the actual property and paying council tax then no, he won't be legal unless he sleeps elsewhere every 28 days.

Excelthetube · 27/08/2021 22:00

It’s almost as if people don’t actually read the thread…

MurielSpriggs · 27/08/2021 22:33

@Excelthetube

It’s almost as if people don’t actually read the thread…

Are we supposed to? I thought the basis of AIBU was to read the first post and tell the poster whether they were reasonable or not!

PieceOfString · 27/08/2021 23:26

[quote ladyface69]@PieceOfString
I'm assuming then you have planning permission for your house build, in which case you are able to stay in a caravan on the plot as you own it. I know you can't just live in a caravan wherever you fancy nowadays as I have lived experience of the planning department telling me otherwise, sadly.
Unless OPs DH is going to be registered in the actual property and paying council tax then no, he won't be legal unless he sleeps elsewhere every 28 days.[/quote]
I'm legal yes, but I understood the landowner as op's brother was permitting this. Worth checking the details but I would have thought it wouldn't fall foul of the planning permission system as is.

PieceOfString · 27/08/2021 23:28

Anyway, check the caravan act for certainty, I'm not a solicitor only going off my own experience as is ladyface69

JustAnotherPoster00 · 27/08/2021 23:40

Depends what type of caravan it is as far as planning permission is concerned, if the caravan has the ability to be moved ie. wheels it isn't classed as a permanent structure

jacks11 · 28/08/2021 00:15

@GoogleWhacked

...am I being unreasonable to think that (despite any behavioural issues) a man in his early sixties, with a recognised disability, should not be living in a caravan in a field Of course not, but he's turned down 3 offers of housing from the council, he can't live with his wife, parents or brother -- so what are the options? If you're so worried about him living in the caravan then one of you will have to accommodate him and make the necessary adjustments.

I have to say that I agree with this assessment- however blunt it may seem. He is an adult who, despite his disability, presumably has capacity and the right to make decisions for himself- he has chosen to turn down 3 properties offered via social housing and is now subject to the same rules as everyone else on that list. It’s not ideal, perhaps, and likely to be cold in the winter I’d have thought, but he is where he is and that is down to the choices he has made. So he will have to bear the consequences- unless all 3 properties were genuinely totally unsuitable in which case he might have a case for appeal. Or unless he lacks capacity, which is a whole new ballgame.

He really has few choices now- he either rents privately, buys a home of his own, moves into the caravan or he moves in with a relative or friend,. I cannot think of any other options, really.

LakieLady · 28/08/2021 00:21

Two sets of friends lived in static caravans for 9 months after their houses were flooded. They had electricity, heating, hot and cold water, shower, flushing toilet and the waste water went directly into the drain of the house (the caravans were in their front gardens), so no emptying the waste tank. The only problem they had was that when it got very cold, the Calor gas didn't work for a few days. Then the couple went to stay with one set of friends the couple plus teen came and stayed with me.

I don't think that it's unreasonable, tbh. There are families with children living in caravans year round at a farm near here.

As your DH has run out of options with the council, I don't really see any other alternative unless he has friends or family that could accommodate him.

I've never heard of this thing of being allowed to turn down 3 offers, and then being allowed to bid again after a year. The council here generally only offer 1 property, and if you don't take that, they say they've discharged their duty under homeless legislation and that's your lot. Very occasionally, I'd be able to convince them that the property offered was so inappropriate it wasn't really reasonable, but it took a hell of a lot of persuading.

The only other possibility I can think of is maybe some sort of supported accommodation provided by a charity, but that's a hell of a long shot and many will only accept people nominated by a charity anyway.

LakieLady · 28/08/2021 00:36

@womaninatightspot

I don't thjink a caravan will be ideal but it's not going to be awful with heating and water. In a year he can get new options. I know someone mentioned you can't live in the caravan for more than 28 days without PP but to be honest in the sticks who would know / care?

I think farmers are allowed to accommodate farm workers in caravans so hopefully this won't become an issue.

Givemethatknife · 28/08/2021 02:14

He’s turned down 3 offers of LA housing. You say he can’t live with you or his parents. So that being the case, a caravan on your brother’s land is a good option.

If you think he chose to turn down housing because he didn’t understand the consequences, then I would contact social services as a safeguarding issue.

PieceOfString · 28/08/2021 08:05

You could Google alms houses. We have a few in our area and each trust sets their own criteria for who can have them, usually vulnerable/elderly. It's a charity type thing if you haven't heard of them.
There are some scattered about the country so it's a long shot but worth a look as they are often in quite nice places.

PieceOfString · 28/08/2021 08:09

Another thing to consider op also, as you mention things getting worse with age is setting up power of attorney if you can. If he gets to the point where he is not capable of managing his own life this would be invaluable to anyone trying to sort him as without it banks etc can't talk to you and depending on how things go social services could make the sorts of decisions you would want to and you would have no authority to have any say. With POA social services can't go over your head.

Original poster

caravanman · 28/08/2021 13:34

Thank you again for the advice. I think the number of offers (if any) that an applicant for social housing may 'refuse' varies from authority to authority. It may also be likely that rules will get stricter as local authority budgets shrink over the next few years.
My husband is quite stressed at the moment, but the caravan will be arriving on Monday, and the person delivering it will set it up.
We will be keeping an eye on the situation when he moves in, and if there are causes for concern, the next step would be adult social care.

OP posts:

SarahBop · 31/08/2021 19:23

How will he pay bills if he's not working? Honestly I think you need to speak to social services, imply you are going to be getting a divorce and can no longer support him..or they'll expect you to. There are supported housing options out there, but you will need to stamp your feet very hard

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