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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

CF. DSD, DSDs mum and dog

982 replies

Purplewishes · 24/08/2021 20:31

Currently on mat leave with twins, also have a toddler and DSD13 who stays between 2-4 nights a week depending on what she wants to do.

Have a great relationship with DSD and been in her life since she was 4 and usually have a good relationship with her mum.

DSD has a dog at her mum's, it's a small dog, unsure of the breed, it's yappy and it's not house trained and still pees and shits in the house. (DSD tells me this) I am not a great lover of dogs (traumatic experience when I was younger so please don't let the dog lovers hate me) anyway DSD has been talking a lot recently about her dog and she should bring it to meet the twins (?) Obv met with a laugh and "no chance"

I got a message from her mum a few days ago "Hiya, just a random question, are you a dog person?" To which I replied no. She then messaged back and said "oh well if you want to take the dog this weekend for us then I'm sure you will become one" She has a weekend away with her partner that has been booked for ages (which we obv knew about for childcare for DSD) I messaged her back joking and said no way. A few messages back and forth and she explained that her dog care had fallen through at the last min and she's really stuck.
She said that she either will need to cancel the weekend or that me and DSD would need to travel back and forward to her house twice a day to walk the dog so that would be two half hour round trips. I said no that I would be busy and she Jokingly said it would give me something to do while on mat leave

Also to note DSD will be in school on the Thurs and friday so her mum would be expecting me, the toddler and the twins to all take the journey to walk the dog ourselves.

Spoke to DSD who has been begging me to allow the dog to come and I was starting to feel a bit guilty and was starting to consider it UNTIL she let the cat out of the bag and said her mum had never booked dog care in the first place and had told DSD the dog would always be coming with her to our house.

AIBU to just sit and laugh knowing there's not a fuckin chance in the world I'm doing it now

OP posts:

pussycatlickinglollyices · 26/08/2021 17:24

@whatfreshheck

Call the RSPCA. The dogs been abandoned.

^This

and I'm not a dog person, like you I was attacked as a kid

Ring the RSPCA and report her.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 26/08/2021 17:24

I'm late to this but horrified that this woman has tried to blackmail you into doing something you don't want to, and shouldn't have to.

I still wouldn't back down now.
If the dog shits all over her house, it's her problem when she returns, isn't it.
Your DSD is going to have to do the dogwalking - but she'd better not be trying to bring it back to your house afterwards!

I wouldn't have a random dog in the house with the number of small children you have anyway. Far too risky! It doesn't matter how "good it is with kids" - it doesn't know yours and will be feeling unsettled anyway because its environment has changed and its people have gone away, so no - fuck that for a game of soldiers!!

I can't believe the gall of the woman in not booking the dog into a proper kennels.

And no doubt the one who will be most hurt by this is your DSD, because her arse of a mother couldn't be bothered to do the right thing by the dog.

Christ on a bike.

Queenoftheashes · 26/08/2021 17:27

She just left it at home? RSPCA then?

ChickpeaCrunch · 26/08/2021 17:29

@Purplewishes

Text DSD to see where she was

"Had to come home TO WALK THE DOG"

to walk the fuckin dog.

And I'm out. Told DH am taking fuck all to do with it

Whaaaa

sillysmiles · 26/08/2021 17:30

Has she potentially gotten one of her neighbours to do the morning walk and DSD to do the evening???

Builderoffairyhouses · 26/08/2021 17:35

I fear the rspca will not be much help. Their website says that they are under a lot of pressure and will only visit an abandoned dog if it is in imminent danger.

mumjustmum · 26/08/2021 17:36

I'd text the mum and ask her plans for the dog, as you actually planned to take DSD to local theme park tomorrow as a surprise so she won't be available to walk or feed dog at all tomorrow

milkyaqua · 26/08/2021 17:40

@sillysmiles

Has she potentially gotten one of her neighbours to do the morning walk and DSD to do the evening???

It's a dog, not a cat. You can't leave a dog alone for days like that, and just toss in the odd walk.

Charmatt · 26/08/2021 17:44

The dog hasn't been abandoned because the DSD is going to look after it.

The RSPCA would - if it has capacity - visit the property and place sellotape over the lock. If the DSD pierces the sellotape with her key or removes it, the RSPCA know someone has been to the property and that fulfils the requirements of the law.

A dog has only been abandoned if no one comes to feed it. The ex hasn't broken the law by putting the DSD in the middle of this, she has just been a cow to put the DSD in an impossible situation.

OhSmellyCatSmellyCat · 26/08/2021 17:44

I don't think the RSPCA will act on anything like this. The dog is being fed, watered, walked and it has shelter
What exactly would you be reporting it for? It hasn't been abandoned
The woman is a horrible chancer and a piss taker but that's not a responsibility of the RSPCA

ButteringMyArse · 26/08/2021 17:45

I'd go and shit all over her house myself.

EatYourVegetables · 26/08/2021 17:46

Poor DSD. She must be feeling really stuck.

DancesWithTortoises · 26/08/2021 17:46

It has been abandoned. Its owner was told there was no one to care for it but she still went away.

Your local council will have a dog pound, OP, take it there if the RSPCA won't have it.

Tistheseason17 · 26/08/2021 17:46

It is not your problem to solve - it is hers.

LookItsMeAgain · 26/08/2021 17:48

Please tell me that you've texted or phoned her asking what she is trying to pull?

ChickpeaCrunch · 26/08/2021 17:49

Is DSD staying there then? I mean if she's 13 is that allowed?

ChickpeaCrunch · 26/08/2021 17:50

@LookItsMeAgain

Please tell me that you've texted or phoned her asking what she is trying to pull?

Nah don't do this.

Walkingalot · 26/08/2021 17:54

ButteringMyArse - I'd go and shit all over her house myself. Brilliant!

LannieDuck · 26/08/2021 17:56

Did DSD add that caps lock in her message, or did you?

StopGo · 26/08/2021 18:01

@HumourReplacementTherapy

Honestly couldn't you just put the dog lead round your spare ankle while you've one hand on a double pram and the other holding a toddler. Wtf is the matter with you? 😂

Nah! Baby carriers with one twin on OP's from the other round the back. Toddler and dog in the twin pram. OP will still have a free hand for coffee/gin/wine/cake as needed.

NightOwl19 · 26/08/2021 18:05

Wow what a CF!!

TulipsTwoLips · 26/08/2021 18:13

From experience with old neighbours the RSPCA won't do anything in this situation.

Doomscrolling · 26/08/2021 18:16

She is now the second Cheekiest F in my Mumsnet experience.

(There have been many over the years but the recent Mr Parking My Car On Your Private Lane For 6 Days was the most entitled wanker. With his ex-footballer mate.)

Original poster

Purplewishes · 26/08/2021 18:18

DSD is back here. What she agreed with her mum (and not us) is that tomorrow morning she will get a lift home before school and walk the dog and get school bus as normal. Neighbour has been roped into walking the dog at the weekend, and then DSD will go home after school tomorrow and walk it. Then DSD will go over sat and Sunday and walk it and again before school on Monday.

Obv I am taking fuck all to do with it so DH WILL be getting up early with DSD and taking her in the opposite direction from his work to drop her home tomorrow early bells before work and will be picking her up tomorrow on his way home from work.

I'm not going to text ex again as it's not my problem now ... As Mumsnet would say it's a DH problem now

Off to get a wine.

OP posts:

Original poster

Purplewishes · 26/08/2021 18:19

@lannieduck no I added the caps for the dramatic effect (obv failed) lol

OP posts:

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