CF. DSD, DSDs mum and dog

[Purplewishes]

Currently on mat leave with twins, also have a toddler and DSD13 who stays between 2-4 nights a week depending on what she wants to do.

Have a great relationship with DSD and been in her life since she was 4 and usually have a good relationship with her mum.

DSD has a dog at her mum's, it's a small dog, unsure of the breed, it's yappy and it's not house trained and still pees and shits in the house. (DSD tells me this) I am not a great lover of dogs (traumatic experience when I was younger so please don't let the dog lovers hate me) anyway DSD has been talking a lot recently about her dog and she should bring it to meet the twins (?) Obv met with a laugh and "no chance"

I got a message from her mum a few days ago "Hiya, just a random question, are you a dog person?" To which I replied no. She then messaged back and said "oh well if you want to take the dog this weekend for us then I'm sure you will become one" She has a weekend away with her partner that has been booked for ages (which we obv knew about for childcare for DSD) I messaged her back joking and said no way. A few messages back and forth and she explained that her dog care had fallen through at the last min and she's really stuck.
She said that she either will need to cancel the weekend or that me and DSD would need to travel back and forward to her house twice a day to walk the dog so that would be two half hour round trips. I said no that I would be busy and she Jokingly said it would give me something to do while on mat leave

Also to note DSD will be in school on the Thurs and friday so her mum would be expecting me, the toddler and the twins to all take the journey to walk the dog ourselves.

Spoke to DSD who has been begging me to allow the dog to come and I was starting to feel a bit guilty and was starting to consider it UNTIL she let the cat out of the bag and said her mum had never booked dog care in the first place and had told DSD the dog would always be coming with her to our house.

AIBU to just sit and laugh knowing there's not a fuckin chance in the world I'm doing it now

@pictish

Don’t report her to the RSPCA for fuck’s sake…easy to say when it’s someone else’s drama…how ridiculous and spiteful that would be.

Anything other let’s the mum get away with just abandoning her dog though.

Unless you think it’s acceptable to leave the dog and ok to happen again and again as she will do it again and again if she gets away with it.

I'd be reporting the dog as abandoned.

I'd contact her and tell her to get her cheeky arse home to look after her dog or I'd be reporting her for abandonment too!

Does RSPCA even do anything though? I once read that a dog was left chained outside in the cold, and the RSPCA said it was fine because it had a kennel.

Why shouldn’t op contact the RSPCA?

Wow. I'm hoping that she has put more support in place for the poor dog. Perhaps she has someone else taking the dog overnight, or coming in to look after it? Otherwise she really doesnt deserve the dog.

Do you know where she is?

If not too far, perhaps your hsband can take the dog to her...

It isn’t spiteful to dog to the RSPCA. It is actually being. responsible as the dog HAS been abandoned. A 13 year old child cannot stay in the house alone with the dog for 4 days and no other care has been arranged so the dog has been abandoned.

The ex deserves every piece of shit coming her way. She isn’t fit to have a dog and at the moment I am doubtful she is fit to be a parent. Who would manipulate and use their own child like this?

@jadfiewahnds

Has anyone said Dogzilla yet?

I wouldn’t say it is spite to call the RSPCA but a necessity!

That poor dog. What sort of normal person thinks leaving a dog on its own for a whole weekend, with maybe a brief walk or two a day is acceptable? You must be fuming. Liking the idea of your dh moving in to her house with dsd over the weekend so it isn’t all alone. Doubt she’d pull this again if he did.

Been following, but haven't commented so far but...

Wow, this CF takes the biscuit. Takes it out on not just her own DD, but also an innocent animal.

OP, you need to contact your local RSPCA and ask them to temporarily take in an abandoned animal. (or Dogs Trust, or anyone who will do that) making it clear what has happened and why.

But make it clear to your DSD that none of this her fault - and that the dog will be ok, but for this weekend at least, some professional care is needed, and none of you can supply it.

I'm so angry on the dog's behalf. The ex shouldn't even be allowed to have a dog. The poor thing is clearly neglected and not cared for properly. If it was me (and I know it's easy to say, when it's not) but if this was us/my DSs were DSSs instead, with the great relationship you have with your DSD, then I'd explain that to her. She's 13, and old enough to understand that an animal needs more than her mum's giving it.

And then, can you get a non-doggy pet for DSD to have at your house? Something perhaps not as labour intensive/something neighbours wouldn't mind feeding if you go away (cat, hamster...) so she's still got a pet to look after, love and care for? (And hopefully, also learn that with pet ownership comes more responsibility that leaving a dog alone all day to piss and shit all over the house )

Whatever you do, OP do not give in over this one. But you may have to have a tough converstation with your DSD about where the dog will be going this weekend... but go it must. Otherwise the ex will only do the same next time... and the time after that....

@CrazyCatStory

That poor dog. What sort of normal person thinks leaving a dog on its own for a whole weekend, with maybe a brief walk or two a day is acceptable? You must be fuming. Liking the idea of your dh moving in to her house with dsd over the weekend so it isn’t all alone. Doubt she’d pull this again if he did.

The dog isn't the responsibility of OP or her DH.

The owner has abandoned it. Off to the dog pound or the RSPCA with it.

This is awful. So she's gone away anyway and left the dog?

I'd report to the rspca. I have a dog and would never ever dream of doing this... Insanity.

That poor dog……
What if there was a fire?

I would get DH to ring her and say if she’s not back by x o’clock she will be reported for abandoning the dog.

This is crazy and she is one Cf. Who is feeding the dog? Fresh water?

Feel very sorry for DSD in this who must be feeling a bit torn if it's her dog.

Also intrigued to learn I've been using the thumbs up emoji wrong too. Is this the middle aged equivalent of all our parents who thought LOL was 'lots of love'?

I really hope DH doesn't give in to this blackmail.

What a horrible cow the ex has shown herself to be.

Seriously op this is wrong and manipulative. Flat no and dp cannot bail ex out or this will create a bigger monster... Dogs live for 13 plus years often!

@onlychildhamster

Does RSPCA even do anything though? I once read that a dog was left chained outside in the cold, and the RSPCA said it was fine because it had a kennel.

The RSPCA are useless and will do fuck all.

I speak from experience.

what a selfish woman she clearly jsut didnt want to pay anyone to look after her dog

people like her make me sick

Also the dsd doesn’t need to know. It can be reported annon.

A neighbour could of quite easily of seen the mother and bf leave with suitcases and then only seen dsd appear once to let it out as a child. They could then ring up and say they are worried that there is merely a child popping in once a day only to check the dog. No need for anyone to suspect the op. H

Definitely call the RSPCA.

However IF you cave for the well-being of the dog (and I think you should exhaust everything first, including calling the relevant people) and the dog has shit everywhere...

Smear it over all the furniture, walls and TVs. Clothes, shoes, everything.

I know it's lovely to be on good terms but she has totally taken the piss!

@Purplewishes

YANBU