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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF. DSD, DSDs mum and dog

982 replies

Purplewishes · 24/08/2021 20:31

Currently on mat leave with twins, also have a toddler and DSD13 who stays between 2-4 nights a week depending on what she wants to do.

Have a great relationship with DSD and been in her life since she was 4 and usually have a good relationship with her mum.

DSD has a dog at her mum's, it's a small dog, unsure of the breed, it's yappy and it's not house trained and still pees and shits in the house. (DSD tells me this) I am not a great lover of dogs (traumatic experience when I was younger so please don't let the dog lovers hate me) anyway DSD has been talking a lot recently about her dog and she should bring it to meet the twins (?) Obv met with a laugh and "no chance"

I got a message from her mum a few days ago "Hiya, just a random question, are you a dog person?" To which I replied no. She then messaged back and said "oh well if you want to take the dog this weekend for us then I'm sure you will become one" She has a weekend away with her partner that has been booked for ages (which we obv knew about for childcare for DSD) I messaged her back joking and said no way. A few messages back and forth and she explained that her dog care had fallen through at the last min and she's really stuck.
She said that she either will need to cancel the weekend or that me and DSD would need to travel back and forward to her house twice a day to walk the dog so that would be two half hour round trips. I said no that I would be busy and she Jokingly said it would give me something to do while on mat leave

Also to note DSD will be in school on the Thurs and friday so her mum would be expecting me, the toddler and the twins to all take the journey to walk the dog ourselves.

Spoke to DSD who has been begging me to allow the dog to come and I was starting to feel a bit guilty and was starting to consider it UNTIL she let the cat out of the bag and said her mum had never booked dog care in the first place and had told DSD the dog would always be coming with her to our house.

AIBU to just sit and laugh knowing there's not a fuckin chance in the world I'm doing it now

OP posts:
pussycatlickinglollyices · 26/08/2021 13:52

[quote Purplewishes]@muchmorethan think if dog shows up il handle it like a footballer, throw it up in the hair and punt it over next doors fence. Grin

Honestly though, don't have a fuckin clue what I will do.[/quote]
RSPCA - abandoned dog.

pussycatlickinglollyices · 26/08/2021 13:56

I don't suppose --with a good hour + to go, you could collect DSD from school??
Yes, you'd have to take the twins and toddler, but it's one way to make sure you don't collect the dog too. 🤞🏻

MidCenturyClegs · 26/08/2021 13:56

@Purplewishes I think you mentioned at the start that you'd had a traumatic experience with a dog earlier on in life. Have you told Mrs CF that? I know that 'no' is a single sentence, but if you're worried about future ramifications about all of this it might help in keeping the peace. Nobody can ask you to ignore feelings resulting from a previous trauma without being in the wrong.

MidCenturyClegs · 26/08/2021 13:59

Sorry, realise that it's probably far too late now for any of that conversation to be had!

Waiting to see how things unfold...

Feedingthebirds1 · 26/08/2021 14:01

OP where is DH in all this? Her primary relationship is with him not you, however much you've tried to get on for DSD's sake.

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/08/2021 14:06

It’s not even the feelings of the littlies, it’s their safety.

I’d also be calling the RSPCA if the dog is left alone.

fluffedup · 26/08/2021 14:12

You could just about forgive her for not realising how trying to get anything done with a tiny baby (let alone two) is like swimming through treacle, if she had never had any herself. But she has a child so she must know.

I remember once I had to get something from the butcher. I had ONE baby and ONE toddler, the butcher was 5 minutes away and didn't close for an hour, and there were no phobias involved.

I finally got there just before it closed. As I stood in the shop I looked down and realised that there was a streak of bright yellow baby poo down my black coat. I don't know how it got there as I wasn't wearing the coat when I (repeatedly) changed the baby.

Stand your ground OP, you can't possibly be expected to deal with a dog as well.

Raindancer411 · 26/08/2021 14:26

Maybe if it does turn up, hubby and DSD and dog should stay at ex's place??!?

BlackeyedSusan · 26/08/2021 14:31

@Raindancer411

Maybe if it does turn up, hubby and DSD and dog should stay at ex's place??!?
Probably this is the best solution if the CF does dump the dog on you.
TeeBee · 26/08/2021 14:39

I'd definitely pre-empt DSD and say that under no circumstances should anybody be bringing the dog over because of your phobia and because you are not able to care for it with so many babies to look after so it wouldn't be fair on the dog. Explain that if the dog comes, he'll have to sent away for someone else to take care of it (dog pound).

friendlycat · 26/08/2021 14:43

I must say you are being remarkably calm and measured about this. How on earth she thinks you can possibly walk a dog with twins and a toddler though is beyond comprehension.

How she also thought a dog that is not fully house trained is going to work in your house with babies and a toddler is also frankly batshit crazy. I would not have felt at all comfortable with a strange dog around 3 young children either.

Let's hope she is finding her other solution to her problem in the form of suitable kennels.

Coffeepot72 · 26/08/2021 14:44

I'm also wondering if some pre-emptive action might be helpful .....

RacistAngst · 26/08/2021 14:45

@VexedofVirginiaWater

Note to self - stop using thumbs up emoji to say OK
Me too!!
Boredhimtodeath · 26/08/2021 14:52

It’s nearly the end of school day. I feel tense for OP.

BoaCunstrictor · 26/08/2021 15:12

Me too!

DancesWithTortoises · 26/08/2021 15:20

If the dog turns up she should text that it will be given to the RSPCA if not collected.

MarleneDietrichsSmile · 26/08/2021 15:23

Yeah the rspca thing would never happen, come on guys

Original poster
Purplewishes · 26/08/2021 15:24

@monestera I'm appalled to hear I am not snorting your tea out funny nor your hero 🤣

Have had radio silence from ex and haven't heard from DSD. School finishing time is approaching.

LAST CHANCE TO BET HOW THIS PLAYS OUT

OP posts:
Original poster
Purplewishes · 26/08/2021 15:26

@allotmentTime I would say up to my nipples in kids but my nipples are down at my knees Grin

OP posts:
sillysmiles · 26/08/2021 15:29

I'm only here to see if the dog turns up after school.

Original poster
Purplewishes · 26/08/2021 15:30

@squeaver honestly the logistics defy me too. Twins in the double buggy, toddler in one arm and maybe tie the dog lead round my neck?

Toddler is a runner too so if the dog ran away, I would have to abandon the buggy and choose to chase after the dog or the toddler. Prob be easier to catch the dog to be fair

OP posts:
ClawedButler · 26/08/2021 15:35

@HumourReplacementTherapy

Honestly couldn't you just put the dog lead round your spare ankle while you've one hand on a double pram and the other holding a toddler. Wtf is the matter with you? 😂
Yeah - can you not stick a broom up your arse so you can sweep the floor as you go as well?
3luckystars · 26/08/2021 15:38

My bet is no dog but puss faces all around.

Be ready to deal with your stepdaughter who was tasked with getting you to agree to mind the dog and has now failed. She might be upset as she thought you were ok with it. Definitely tell her you are afraid of dogs. Good luck!

sillysmiles · 26/08/2021 15:40

I'm a dog person - but asking someone 1) who's afraid of dogs and 2) has a toddler and twin babies to look after a dog is monumentally crazy.

I wouldn't do that to my dog and I certainly wouldn't do it to the person doing the looking after.

Ilovecaviar · 26/08/2021 15:45

Wow she’s even cheekier than I thought. Can’t believe she still hasn’t looked or a dog sitter and is still trying it on with family. She could take the dog with her lol