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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF. DSD, DSDs mum and dog

982 replies

Purplewishes · 24/08/2021 20:31

Currently on mat leave with twins, also have a toddler and DSD13 who stays between 2-4 nights a week depending on what she wants to do.

Have a great relationship with DSD and been in her life since she was 4 and usually have a good relationship with her mum.

DSD has a dog at her mum's, it's a small dog, unsure of the breed, it's yappy and it's not house trained and still pees and shits in the house. (DSD tells me this) I am not a great lover of dogs (traumatic experience when I was younger so please don't let the dog lovers hate me) anyway DSD has been talking a lot recently about her dog and she should bring it to meet the twins (?) Obv met with a laugh and "no chance"

I got a message from her mum a few days ago "Hiya, just a random question, are you a dog person?" To which I replied no. She then messaged back and said "oh well if you want to take the dog this weekend for us then I'm sure you will become one" She has a weekend away with her partner that has been booked for ages (which we obv knew about for childcare for DSD) I messaged her back joking and said no way. A few messages back and forth and she explained that her dog care had fallen through at the last min and she's really stuck.
She said that she either will need to cancel the weekend or that me and DSD would need to travel back and forward to her house twice a day to walk the dog so that would be two half hour round trips. I said no that I would be busy and she Jokingly said it would give me something to do while on mat leave

Also to note DSD will be in school on the Thurs and friday so her mum would be expecting me, the toddler and the twins to all take the journey to walk the dog ourselves.

Spoke to DSD who has been begging me to allow the dog to come and I was starting to feel a bit guilty and was starting to consider it UNTIL she let the cat out of the bag and said her mum had never booked dog care in the first place and had told DSD the dog would always be coming with her to our house.

AIBU to just sit and laugh knowing there's not a fuckin chance in the world I'm doing it now

OP posts:
1WayOrAnother2 · 26/08/2021 10:08

Don't worry about her bitching to her friends about you OP - they will all be making it clear that dogs are not their thing either. (CFs work on everyone when they want to save money.)

Original poster
Purplewishes · 26/08/2021 10:09

I always ALWAYS use the thumbs up emoji as a passive aggressive fuck you. Always.

Mainly to my DH as I know it winds him up so I take the mental win.

OP posts:
Brendabigbaps · 26/08/2021 10:12

Very Bad idea even if you only consider the safety implications.
A yappy dog who isn’t house trained (toddler hand in a stray dog poop! ) isn’t going to be trained in any other areas either!
You’ve got a toddler who will be pulling ears, tails etc. 2 babies who will be tempting to the dog and a dog who hasn’t met any of these people or been in the house etc before, it’ll be very anxious unless it’s the most chilled “yappy” dog ever.

Justilou1 · 26/08/2021 10:17

Perhaps a quick note to clarify with DSD that the dog is NOT going to be visiting your house - EVER, and you just want to ensure that she knows this.

MaggieFS · 26/08/2021 10:20

@Purplewishes

I always ALWAYS use the thumbs up emoji as a passive aggressive fuck you. Always.

Mainly to my DH as I know it winds him up so I take the mental win.

Oh God, I've never done this! I use it as if I were literally giving a thumbs up and don't know what else to say. Hope everyone doesn't think I've been telling them to F off.

WildfirePonie · 26/08/2021 10:21

Just block her and let DH deal with her in future.

You have enough on your plate. They will just have to grow up and be amicable.

If DSD shows up with the dog - refuse to let the dog in!

SunshineCake · 26/08/2021 10:25

If you cave then you've given in to a bully.

CaveMum · 26/08/2021 10:28

Is there a local kennel to you? Honestly if the dog turns up at the door after your explicit “No way Jose” I’d be phoning a kennel and asking them to take the dog as an emergency for the weekend (paying emergency rates, natch) and tell them the owner will pay on collection.

DimplesToadfoot · 26/08/2021 10:32

If she does turn up with the dog, take it to the local pound, they'll have to keep it for 7 days, so she'll be able to pick it up when she's back, after she's paid the hefty fine and kennel fees

rainbowstardrops · 26/08/2021 10:37

Oh God, I've never done this! I use it as if I were literally giving a thumbs up and don't know what else to say. Hope everyone doesn't think I've been telling them to F off.

Same!!!! Who knew?!!! Grin

weemouse · 26/08/2021 10:38

Sorry guys been up to my tits in kids Smile OP thats brilliant

Fuck that - walking a dog with twins and a toddler - just NO

EvilPea · 26/08/2021 10:41

I’m another one who gives a thumbs up meaning a thumb up.

Does, does this make me old now???!

Lostinthemail · 26/08/2021 10:42

@Purplewishes

Betting fuck sake. Who's getting the dog shows up with dsd
If he does, bring him to the shelter right away. He is then abandoned by his owner. Let her explain it to them.
Immunetypegoblin · 26/08/2021 10:52

Re the thumbs up, I read the other day that younger people (under 30s I think?) are way more likely to use a particular emoji as representative of some other sentiment/meaning altogether, while older people (so 30s and up) are rather more literal and assume a thumbs up just means a goddamn thumbs up. I am one of the latter, I have to say! So there may be generational difference in society in general. Not in this case though, she knows she's taking the fucking piss.

Coffeepot72 · 26/08/2021 11:00

So (and yes, I've RTFT) can someone remind if its TONIGHT that the drama is likely to unfold, ie dog on OP's doorstep?

Wandawide · 26/08/2021 11:08

@Coffeepot72

So (and yes, I've RTFT) can someone remind if its TONIGHT that the drama is likely to unfold, ie dog on OP's doorstep?
Will it spend the weekend tethered in the garden?
MaggieFS · 26/08/2021 11:09

@Immunetypegoblin

Re the thumbs up, I read the other day that younger people (under 30s I think?) are way more likely to use a particular emoji as representative of some other sentiment/meaning altogether, while older people (so 30s and up) are rather more literal and assume a thumbs up just means a goddamn thumbs up. I am one of the latter, I have to say! So there may be generational difference in society in general. Not in this case though, she knows she's taking the fucking piss.

Well this is good news, because as an older fart it means I can send a thumbs up to irritating younger colleagues who may choose to take it as fuck off, or may think I'm old and it's a genuine thumbs up. And they will never know mwahahahaha.

OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias · 26/08/2021 11:11

That's brilliant! "Look I'm not doing it okay" - you are my personal hero. Perfect response.

I wouldn't worry about the thumbs up. You won, she lost, everyone knows it. She might feel like she had the last word, but she still has to pay for kennels for her dog Smile

CaveMum · 26/08/2021 11:11

I use the thumbs up to mean “Yes, yes, stop bothering me now I’ve got other stuff to do” Grin

FilthyforFirth · 26/08/2021 11:18

Wow. Can't wait for later!

Xiaoxiong · 26/08/2021 11:19

@Immunetypegoblin I think I read the same thing - like, only middle aged people use the "crying laughing" emoji, young people use the skull and crossbones as in "I'm dead" (I assume from laughter)

I will still never get over when David Cameron's texts were leaked and he thought LOL meant lots of love.

JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 26/08/2021 11:24

DSD will turn up with dog; or dog will still go to MIL (as she seems more susceptible to the guilt trip) with DSD saying she'll have to use her lunch breaks from school to walk the dog in the middle of the day (knowing full well her Dad and OP won't allow that so OP will have to walk)

Coffeepot72 · 26/08/2021 11:24

I use thumbs up to mean "ok/fine/no problem" - no negative connotations?

Monestera · 26/08/2021 11:30

LOL did mean lots of love, back in the days of SWALK.

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/08/2021 11:35

I would mainly use a thumbs up to literally mean that. But I’m old and I suppose could also use if sardonically. Thumbs up irl has always had a sarcastic meaning when accompanied with an eye roll.

MaggieFS
You’re wicked. Grin And when these younger colleagues annoy you, it can be a mental middle finger.