CF. DSD, DSDs mum and dog

[Purplewishes]

Currently on mat leave with twins, also have a toddler and DSD13 who stays between 2-4 nights a week depending on what she wants to do.

Have a great relationship with DSD and been in her life since she was 4 and usually have a good relationship with her mum.

DSD has a dog at her mum's, it's a small dog, unsure of the breed, it's yappy and it's not house trained and still pees and shits in the house. (DSD tells me this) I am not a great lover of dogs (traumatic experience when I was younger so please don't let the dog lovers hate me) anyway DSD has been talking a lot recently about her dog and she should bring it to meet the twins (?) Obv met with a laugh and "no chance"

I got a message from her mum a few days ago "Hiya, just a random question, are you a dog person?" To which I replied no. She then messaged back and said "oh well if you want to take the dog this weekend for us then I'm sure you will become one" She has a weekend away with her partner that has been booked for ages (which we obv knew about for childcare for DSD) I messaged her back joking and said no way. A few messages back and forth and she explained that her dog care had fallen through at the last min and she's really stuck.
She said that she either will need to cancel the weekend or that me and DSD would need to travel back and forward to her house twice a day to walk the dog so that would be two half hour round trips. I said no that I would be busy and she Jokingly said it would give me something to do while on mat leave

Also to note DSD will be in school on the Thurs and friday so her mum would be expecting me, the toddler and the twins to all take the journey to walk the dog ourselves.

Spoke to DSD who has been begging me to allow the dog to come and I was starting to feel a bit guilty and was starting to consider it UNTIL she let the cat out of the bag and said her mum had never booked dog care in the first place and had told DSD the dog would always be coming with her to our house.

AIBU to just sit and laugh knowing there's not a fuckin chance in the world I'm doing it now

CF of the highest order! I can’t get over the entitlement.

What will be your move if the dog does show up?

I wouldn't get worked up about the thumbs up emoji. I'd take the victory that she's actually, finally, run out of words.

Do you know where she is going? If the dog turns up after school, I'd be taking the dog straight to her hotel!!

Oh god..she's going to turn up with the dog..

If she does, take the dog to local vet and text the woman with the details

The Ex is shockingly entitled to be continually pushing an untrained dog onto you because she couldn't be arsed to source and pay for its care while she's away.

Not.Your.Problem.

If the dog shows up, text her and tell her you're calling a shelter to take it away.

You know too that it wouldn't be 'just a dog walk'. You'd get to MILs and probably find the dog has messed all over her floor and you'll be the one expected to clear it up. Bad enough having to do that when you're on your own but unacceptable when you have 3 young children with you.

Just wondering about the legal ins and outs of signing the dog over for rehoming if your DSD turns up with it.

I can’t wait for the update when the dog shows up

So many ways round this

Book a kennel
Book a holiday and take the dog

Downright cheeky. I bloody hope the dog doesn't turn up for your sake OP!

I'd take the thumbs up sign as her admitting defeat and being OK about it. Maybe I'm optimistic.

Shes literally cray cray

Welldone OP

Still can't believe she kept pushing it - you're not even related! And even if you were it would still be CFery!

I just can't imagine ever being told NO and then arguing against it again and again. Some people just do not respect boundaries/other people if they think it's not in their direct interest.

And what will you do if she does?
You need to be prepared.

At this point I'd advise one last text saying under no circumstances leave that dog with dsd or DH will take it to the RSPCA.

The relationship is pretty much fucked now anyway. 🤷‍♀️

I’d take the thumbs up as a conciliatory ok to go with her “fine” words. I don’t see it as particularly inflammatory.

No thumbs up is passive aggressive, it's one of my favourite moves!

I usually recommend people use it. It shuts the conversation down stone dead. I've recommended it on here several times when people are struggling with (for example) friends who text too much. Maybe she is a MNer!

@Kiduknot

I’d take the thumbs up as a conciliatory ok to go with her “fine” words. I don’t see it as particularly inflammatory.

I don't agree, the thumbs up means middle finger up in many cases.

If it arrives send a pic of it tied up outside to the ex... Tell her you have informed the dog warden about a stray dog.. Council charge 70 quid for collection..

She's going to be scrambling for another angle now, and 100% my bet is on just forcing your hand and leaving with dsd standing on the doorstep with the dog.

Either that or MIL is currently getting an earful.

Whatever happens next, you're not out of the emotionally manipulative woods just yet.

This thread has amazed me.

Her feelings totally outweigh yours in her eyes.

She is totally unable to understand your position; very young children, frightened of dogs, tired and that you that you have said no. Some people are in their own world.

Stay strong.

Note to self - stop using thumbs up emoji to say OK

”Who’s betting the dog shows up after school?”

I would, but who’d bet on the alternative?

I'd have replied, 'I have two babies and a toddler and I can't even have a piss in peace myself, so I certainly don't have time to walk YOUR dog so he can!'
CF!

Can you imagine if MIL had the dog and you had been roped into walking it with all the kids, then you arrived at MIL house and the dog had poo'ed on the floor already, you would then be expected to clean MIL floor or else you would be seen as out of order for leaving it there!

Definitely NO dog!

I’m always using thumbs up as an indication “I’ve read your last message on this topic and agree”. 😬