CF. DSD, DSDs mum and dog

[Purplewishes]

Currently on mat leave with twins, also have a toddler and DSD13 who stays between 2-4 nights a week depending on what she wants to do.

Have a great relationship with DSD and been in her life since she was 4 and usually have a good relationship with her mum.

DSD has a dog at her mum's, it's a small dog, unsure of the breed, it's yappy and it's not house trained and still pees and shits in the house. (DSD tells me this) I am not a great lover of dogs (traumatic experience when I was younger so please don't let the dog lovers hate me) anyway DSD has been talking a lot recently about her dog and she should bring it to meet the twins (?) Obv met with a laugh and "no chance"

I got a message from her mum a few days ago "Hiya, just a random question, are you a dog person?" To which I replied no. She then messaged back and said "oh well if you want to take the dog this weekend for us then I'm sure you will become one" She has a weekend away with her partner that has been booked for ages (which we obv knew about for childcare for DSD) I messaged her back joking and said no way. A few messages back and forth and she explained that her dog care had fallen through at the last min and she's really stuck.
She said that she either will need to cancel the weekend or that me and DSD would need to travel back and forward to her house twice a day to walk the dog so that would be two half hour round trips. I said no that I would be busy and she Jokingly said it would give me something to do while on mat leave

Also to note DSD will be in school on the Thurs and friday so her mum would be expecting me, the toddler and the twins to all take the journey to walk the dog ourselves.

Spoke to DSD who has been begging me to allow the dog to come and I was starting to feel a bit guilty and was starting to consider it UNTIL she let the cat out of the bag and said her mum had never booked dog care in the first place and had told DSD the dog would always be coming with her to our house.

AIBU to just sit and laugh knowing there's not a fuckin chance in the world I'm doing it now

@Purplewishes Can i just say a huge thank you for this thread. I know it’s a bit (a lot) of a pain in the rear for you, but it’s has been the best thread for a while, your replies have been priceless and bloody hilarious.

As someone who also got a yapping, not house trained rat dumped on me by DSS's mum. Say NO. It was a complete disaster, and I don't have twins and a toddler to contend with.

As a great man once said : "Fuck her, and the dog she rode in on!" (sic)
Sentiment still applies though

How could you safely walk a strange dog when also wrangling twins and a toddler? Oh, right, you couldn't. Definitely a no.

Why the hell can't she just book and pay for kennels/dog sitter like the rest of us have to do if we want to go away without our dogs????

Fuck it, I’m placemarking

Not even sorry

@EatYourVegetables

I will not walk your sodding dog I will not walk him to the log I will not walk him to the park I will not walk him after dark

Will you walk him from MIL’s house?
Will you walk him with a mouse?

I will not walk him from MIL’s house
I will not walk him with a mouse
I will not walk him with a frog
I will not walk your sodding dog

Will you walk him really fast?
Will you walk him, please, you must?

I will not walk him really fast
He’s your problem, not my must,
You must think I’m off my rocker
You really are a cheeky ducker

@EatYourVegetables 🤣🤣

Omfg 😯

@EatYourVegetables Ah semi-crossposted, I see you also got the Green Eggs and Ham bug (I only read all of OP’s comments), and definitely did it better than me.

@EatYourVegetables Brilliant

No. No. No. No bloody way. I have toddler twins and a dog phobia and there is no way, especially after being lied to/manipulated. Quick walk toddlers and quick

Ok, I’ll do it. If you take my twins and toddler on your weekend so it’s not an actual nightmare for me trying to walk a dog with them. Let me know and I’ll drop them all over.

@Purplewishes.
We are all totally invested in this. As a pp said, we have your back. Whilst I understand that it seems it would be easier to say yes I promise you it wouldn't.
If you give in now you will definitely be telling the cheeky fucķer that if she goes on for long enough then you will give in, against your better judgement, against your own wishes and MIL and possibly partner will lose respect for you. Dsd is at an age where the lovely child may disappear and you are left with the spawn of Satan. (We all hope not but sometimes it happens). It would not be good for her to discover that you could be pressurised or bullied into changing your mind.
You have been a scream over the course of the evening and we have all been impressed.
The most important thing that you need to remember is that you have said No.
You know that you don't want to do this. If CF contacts you again please say. No. If I believe the dog will be at home all that time then I will contact RSPCA. There is no way that I will ever look after anybody's dog in their home or mine.
I really do appreciate you sticking to my boundaries with this by never mentioning it again.
Best wishes.
Purple.

All this - lies, manipulation, pushing at all and sundry from all angles to get her way, entitled behaviour, playing tricks - because she's too cheap to book a dog care kennel!

This is your husband/boyfriends issue to sort. Being duped into thinking ‘it’s easier if I just-‘ is embarrassing, the woman he previously impregnated is HIS chosen responsibility. Don’t let this be foisted on to you to fix. Obviously. ‘No, but it’s easier if I-‘ NO

I would just go all out Grey F**king Rock. You've said no. Many times. Somehow politely. It's a perfectly valid, justifiable 'No' and even if it weren't, it's still your decision. No more explanations, just 'No'.

I'm going to be floored if they show up with the dog on the day she leaves.

@EatYourVegetables

I will not walk your sodding dog I will not walk him to the log I will not walk him to the park I will not walk him after dark

Will you walk him from MIL’s house?
Will you walk him with a mouse?

I will not walk him from MIL’s house
I will not walk him with a mouse
I will not walk him with a frog
I will not walk your sodding dog

Will you walk him really fast?
Will you walk him, please, you must?

I will not walk him really fast
He’s your problem, not my must,
You must think I’m off my rocker
You really are a cheeky ducker

I love this, my tired brain is finding it so hilarious I keep reading it again 🤣

As others have said, don't give in now or you are setting yourself up for being her doggy day care every time she can't be bothered dealing with the poor dog properly.
She has a dog so if she wants weekends away and holidays she needs to factor the cost of kennels or a dog sitter into the cost of the holiday - she just thought you would do it for free. You & MIL have said no, so now she pays for appropriate dog care or cancels her trip - her fault for poor planning, not yours. All my friends with pets arrange and pay for proper care as necessary, she needs to do the same.

I would be honest and direct: "both I and MIL realise you are being manipulative and playing us both behind each other's backs. I said no, not under any circumstances, and I won't be manipulated into it in any form. We have a good relationship I believe, and we've always put DSD first. I would like to keep it that way, but you manipulating and railroading me and playing MIL and I off against the other undoes all that. I know you never arranged care for the dog as DSD told me. I feel your intent was to manipulate me from the start and I won't accept my boundaries being so disrespected. Get the dog in a kennel like you should have from the start. Is it really worth tearing a family apart for? Please don't contact either myself or MIL on this again, we will have no part of any of it."

A bit wordy, but change/use it how you wish.

No I would not back down at all, especially not on principle. You've been manipulated, your boundaries disrespected, you've been played against your MIL. Rewarding that behaviour will only lead to setting an example that she can get what she wants. She'll then test the boundaries further next time she wants something. And, it isn't a good example for DSD.

Don't cave! CF indeed!

You said no much more politely than I would have. I would've laughed in her face. Asking anyone with a new baby for a last minute labour intensive favour is ridiculous. Asking someone with 2 new babies and a toddler is just obviously absurdist comedy, no?

I agree, just ignore from now on.

Don’t cave! That is what she is relying on.

If you do it once it will continue

Wow, she doesn’t give up easily, does she?

I’m looking forward to the next installment. You have a spine, OP, keep using it!