Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 15 16 17 ··· 39 40

Original poster

CF. DSD, DSDs mum and dog

982 replies

Purplewishes · 24/08/2021 20:31

Currently on mat leave with twins, also have a toddler and DSD13 who stays between 2-4 nights a week depending on what she wants to do.

Have a great relationship with DSD and been in her life since she was 4 and usually have a good relationship with her mum.

DSD has a dog at her mum's, it's a small dog, unsure of the breed, it's yappy and it's not house trained and still pees and shits in the house. (DSD tells me this) I am not a great lover of dogs (traumatic experience when I was younger so please don't let the dog lovers hate me) anyway DSD has been talking a lot recently about her dog and she should bring it to meet the twins (?) Obv met with a laugh and "no chance"

I got a message from her mum a few days ago "Hiya, just a random question, are you a dog person?" To which I replied no. She then messaged back and said "oh well if you want to take the dog this weekend for us then I'm sure you will become one" She has a weekend away with her partner that has been booked for ages (which we obv knew about for childcare for DSD) I messaged her back joking and said no way. A few messages back and forth and she explained that her dog care had fallen through at the last min and she's really stuck.
She said that she either will need to cancel the weekend or that me and DSD would need to travel back and forward to her house twice a day to walk the dog so that would be two half hour round trips. I said no that I would be busy and she Jokingly said it would give me something to do while on mat leave

Also to note DSD will be in school on the Thurs and friday so her mum would be expecting me, the toddler and the twins to all take the journey to walk the dog ourselves.

Spoke to DSD who has been begging me to allow the dog to come and I was starting to feel a bit guilty and was starting to consider it UNTIL she let the cat out of the bag and said her mum had never booked dog care in the first place and had told DSD the dog would always be coming with her to our house.

AIBU to just sit and laugh knowing there's not a fuckin chance in the world I'm doing it now

OP posts:

CherryHug · 25/08/2021 19:24

Oh my goodness, she is so cheeky, glad you have filled MIL in, don't let ex get away with it, she knows exactly what she is doing.

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 25/08/2021 19:25

This is the problem when people get dogs, but are either too stupid or too lazy to housetrain it. Why, oh why would they think that anyone else would be happy to look after a dog that shits and pisses indoors, especially if you have young babies and toddlers. Just No.

Also, if you are getting a dog, surely you factor in costs like kennels during holidays , I mean that's just part of being a responsible pet owner.

Don't back down Op, or I think it will be the thin end of the wedge.

Runmybathforme · 25/08/2021 19:26

Your DH should have your back on this.

PollyPepper · 25/08/2021 19:28

You sound great, OP. Settling in with popcorn and gin for the update.

JustJustWhy · 25/08/2021 19:31

I look after dogs and am in a very good position to. As a dog lover I can tell you it is time consuming and if a dog is yappy and not house trained I literally wouldn't consider having them in the house. If you don't adore dogs AND you have such little ones I wouldn't commit to a damn thing, not an overnight stay nor even a dog walk. She's been outrageously cheeky and nobody should be forced into the responsibility of an animal that isn't theirs.

Pompom2367 · 25/08/2021 19:32

Patiently waiting for the update lol

mutedrainbows · 25/08/2021 19:42

I love this thread so much.

TreadLightly3 · 25/08/2021 19:43

🍷

Original poster

Purplewishes · 25/08/2021 19:48

Received the following

" Have heard back from MIL whos cancelled on me as you wont walk him, what is the big deal, she lives 5 mins away and dog will only need a short walk until MIL gets home! DSD will wall after school too. Honestly can you not just walk him? MIL was happy to take him until YOU have said no. This is all stressing me out"

Dear god pass me the gin bottle.

OP posts:

MinnieGirl · 25/08/2021 19:52

@Purplewishes

Received the following

Dear god pass me the gin bottle.

It’s stressing me out too CF as I have a massive dog phobia following a violent attack when I was a child. So I won’t be walking your dog ever for whatever reason. I’m sure there would be local kennels who would take at short notice as your previous arrangement let you down…. But please accept that I will not be walking or caring for your dog.

Howshouldibehave · 25/08/2021 19:52

@Purplewishes

Received the following

Dear god pass me the gin bottle.

I take it this has ruined what was seemingly a very amicable friendship!

What a piss taker! I wouldn’t do it on principle

Howshouldibehave · 25/08/2021 19:53

Did you tell MIL the dog shits everywhere?

Babyghirl · 25/08/2021 19:54

@chickpeacrunch
I 100% agree with you on this it's only the child that's nw part of the family she lost her place when they split up 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
@Terminallysleepdeprived
Not all people think this thou my bro has a partner and they have kids god dame she not even part of r family and they still together let along if they split up, it's only the dsd that's part of the family now lol.

MayorGoodwaysChicken · 25/08/2021 19:55

‘Please stop trying to cajole and manipulate me and others into something that I have clearly and repeatedly said no to. To repeat, I have a toddler and newborn twins. There is no such thing as a quick dog walk when you have three tiny children in tow. If you would like you are welcome to borrow the three of them next weekend so you can see for yourself quite how easy or not it is to get the simplest of tasks done, never mind going out repeatedly to walk someone else’s dog with all the children in tow. Please do not contact me again about this - I have never given you any reason to think I would provide care for your dog. I hope you get something sorted but if you don’t, and are feeling stressed, it is no ones fault but your own’.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 25/08/2021 19:56

She's still lying.

Challenge that!
You told mil that someone would be walking the dog. I had already told you no so you lied to her. That's why she's said no now.

She is trying everything she can to force you to do this and turn you into the bad guy!

mynameisbrian · 25/08/2021 19:57

OMG she is an arse- her dog issues are not yours...she chose to get a dog and hasnt considered the impact when she wants her trips away. Not a chance would i have someone elses dog, my dog has either come with us or stays at home with my eldest as my choices to have a dog shouldnt be a burden on someone else.

MadeForThis · 25/08/2021 19:59

Tell her to stop making you out to be the bad guy. You told her from the start you wouldn't look after the dog. If she has assumed otherwise that's her fault.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 25/08/2021 19:59

Text her bluntly and explain most people pay for kennels or dog walkers in this situation. Ask her why she isnt booking kennels, maybe include a link for a local one and say "of course you must be able to afford this as surely you wouldnt have got a dog if you couldnt easily afford all the costs."

Ellie56 · 25/08/2021 19:59

Looks like she has to cancel or take the dog with her.

Lockdowntherabbithole · 25/08/2021 20:00

“I said no from the start. There’s no such thing as a ‘quick walk’- I have a toddler and newborn twins! To get the four of us ready take military precision. You should have booked the kennels in the first place instead of just assuming we’d care for it. It’s a no.”

mallowvalley · 25/08/2021 20:01

How about:
MIL agreed to take the dog because you told her I'd walk it twice daily. She agreed under false pretences. I have told you clearly that I can not, and will not, care for the dog. I have explained why. It is your responsibility to ensure your dog has care not mine.

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 25/08/2021 20:02

Tell her if you wanted a ddog you would have got one. Instead you have 3 very young dc... What does she expect you to do with them while you walk Fido?
Or send her a list of your ddoggy walking rates!!
And double ye price for the short notice!!

Suggest she needs to pay up front also!!

LannieDuck · 25/08/2021 20:02

"I'm not prepared to have any role in looking after your dog. Stop asking me."

GullyGull · 25/08/2021 20:05

Just say

I have consistently said no but you have not been listening. I will not be changing my position on this or discussing it any further.

Original poster

Purplewishes · 25/08/2021 20:05

@terminallysleepdeprived (totally can relate to your username)
I totally agree with what you said. Ex has been in my life same amount of time DSD has. She comes part and parcel with DSD hence how we have all put a lot of effort into forming and maintaing a good co-parenting relationship on all fronts with respecting the same form of rules in both houses, curfews, punishments for DSD and we all agreed early days that DSD would be put first and we've all stuck to this. we generally do get on with one another and to go against the grain I really do like her as a whole.
Still not walking the fucking dog though.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 ··· 15 16 17 ··· 39 40

Swipe left for the next trending thread