CF. DSD, DSDs mum and dog

[Purplewishes]

Currently on mat leave with twins, also have a toddler and DSD13 who stays between 2-4 nights a week depending on what she wants to do.

Have a great relationship with DSD and been in her life since she was 4 and usually have a good relationship with her mum.

DSD has a dog at her mum's, it's a small dog, unsure of the breed, it's yappy and it's not house trained and still pees and shits in the house. (DSD tells me this) I am not a great lover of dogs (traumatic experience when I was younger so please don't let the dog lovers hate me) anyway DSD has been talking a lot recently about her dog and she should bring it to meet the twins (?) Obv met with a laugh and "no chance"

I got a message from her mum a few days ago "Hiya, just a random question, are you a dog person?" To which I replied no. She then messaged back and said "oh well if you want to take the dog this weekend for us then I'm sure you will become one" She has a weekend away with her partner that has been booked for ages (which we obv knew about for childcare for DSD) I messaged her back joking and said no way. A few messages back and forth and she explained that her dog care had fallen through at the last min and she's really stuck.
She said that she either will need to cancel the weekend or that me and DSD would need to travel back and forward to her house twice a day to walk the dog so that would be two half hour round trips. I said no that I would be busy and she Jokingly said it would give me something to do while on mat leave

Also to note DSD will be in school on the Thurs and friday so her mum would be expecting me, the toddler and the twins to all take the journey to walk the dog ourselves.

Spoke to DSD who has been begging me to allow the dog to come and I was starting to feel a bit guilty and was starting to consider it UNTIL she let the cat out of the bag and said her mum had never booked dog care in the first place and had told DSD the dog would always be coming with her to our house.

AIBU to just sit and laugh knowing there's not a fuckin chance in the world I'm doing it now

You need to ring your MIL now and get this sorted. Please don’t agree to anything or every time ex goes away, she’ll pull stunts like this

This is crackers. Can you add them both to the same whatsapp chat and explain you cannot let the dog out- Ex needs to find proper dog accommodation, end of story

Is MIL aware that the dog isn’t toilet trained? If not, this is something you really need to tell her otherwise she will be in for a sorry surprise when she returns home from work on the first day…

I don’t think anyone would want someone else’s untrained dog in their house fwiw, even if they loved dogs. You have twin babies and a toddler, the last thing you need is a little dog pooing and weeing all over the place. It’s dangerous really if nothing else. I know you like his ex and have an amicable relationship but I think she’s a massive CF for this.

[quote Purplewishes]@diddl we are in walking distance to DSD school to get to her mum's it's about 15/20 Min depending on traffic. DH leaves at 6.30 most mornings so would be me who would take DSD to walk the dog and my mornings are manic enough without throwing in a morning detour. This a pp said I was already up to my tits with it all. I can confirm this is accurate. Imagine the hunger games, that's my usual mornings

DSD did say she would go home and walk dog after school but then still leaves dog in house all day alone[/quote]
Hmmm.
A bored dog alone in a house you say...
Well, he’ll just have to entertain himself, chew whatever he fancies, crap where he likes...

Oh no...the ex is being so manipulative. You'll have to be clear to mil and ex, that you're not having anything to do with the dog. You might find your mil retracts her offer.

😮

Op I seriously doubt you can 'pop' anywhere with 3 x small dc in tow!!

@Purplewishes

MIL also text and said she will come round and drop off keys and I asked what she would be dropping keys off for and she said that ex told her that she would say to me to pop in to let dog out when she was at work. MIL obv had no idea I had said no

Have you replied or does MIL still think this is the plan?

Have you told her that she’ll have an untrained dog shitting in her house all day long?

"I have an extreme phobia of dogs [and have the scar to prove why] So I will not be helping to tend to the dog in any way, I am sorry to hear you've assumed I would be available to do so, but you need to find an alternative plan that works with MIL" You cheeky fucking bastard, no wonder you're his ex

Does no-one else have a sneaking admiration for the CF's masterplan?! She clearly hasn't arranged anyone to do the walking whilst the dog is at MILs and is no doubt relying on OP or MIL to roll over and do the walking once that becomes obvious.

On a more serious note the silly woman clearly doesn't care much for her dog if she is happy to leave it with people who don't really want to look after it, and there isn't a proper plan for someone to keep it company / take it out for walks etc. Not OPs problem, not MILs problem, but I feel really sorry for the little dog in all of this!

Oh MIL needs to know the whole sorry tale including the mess that will happen.

Oooh god I’d be pissed off with her insistence.

“Hi…I have stuff on so you’ll have to leave me out of the equation. I won’t be available to let him out.”

I was looking to mumsnets first CF dog story but it was the dogs owner th ata the cheeky fucker. Disappointed.

No. I have 3 under 3 (ish). You could ask YOUR SON, but I know he is working so won't be doing doggy duty

^ Try this?

@purplewishes
That made me laugh 😂😂😂😂😂
But tell her in no way shape or form r you going to go round and let the dogs out twins could sleep anytime of the day and you r not committed to make plans or agree incase twins don't sleep during the night could possibly take sick with a bug or something and your nt worrying about rushing round with 3 kids to let the dog out it just not possible.

@purplewishes
That song comes to mind who let the dogs out 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Please say no!!!!

Please make sure mil knows exactly what’s what re you and your commitments no way are you to be taken advantage of by the ex

Definitely say no!

Please tell MI.the WHOLE story; This conniving CF woman is tricking & lying to everyone.
She simply needs to pay for kennels, it stops here.

You cannot POP to walk a dog, with all the kids in a pram etc, How many hands does she think you have ? How long would it take to get ready? Even if you wanted to help, which you don't & have already told her this.

Just Shut this down NOW

For transparency, and to drop CF right in it, set up a WhatsApp group chat so that you can make it plain to them both that under no circumstances will you be getting involved with the dog. No. No. No.

Def a cf

Doggy day care varies but about £40 a day. Tell her to look on local fb page fir kennels or someone to pop in and walk twice a day

I think you are being far too kind to this woman. You need to call her and have it out with her. As I am forever reading on MN, no is a complete sentence!

"ex told her that she would say to me to pop in to let dog out when she was at work."

"How very strange MIL, I have already told her that I cannot do this".

See I agree. Even if mil is ‘only 5 minutes’ away, it’s still an imposition. It’ll take a half hour each time minimum. That’s fine if you’re agreeable and happy to be involved…it’s a pain in the arse if you’re not.
You’ve said no…said you’re busy. Stick with the no. Come on…see the no through. You can do it!