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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF. DSD, DSDs mum and dog

982 replies

Purplewishes · 24/08/2021 20:31

Currently on mat leave with twins, also have a toddler and DSD13 who stays between 2-4 nights a week depending on what she wants to do.

Have a great relationship with DSD and been in her life since she was 4 and usually have a good relationship with her mum.

DSD has a dog at her mum's, it's a small dog, unsure of the breed, it's yappy and it's not house trained and still pees and shits in the house. (DSD tells me this) I am not a great lover of dogs (traumatic experience when I was younger so please don't let the dog lovers hate me) anyway DSD has been talking a lot recently about her dog and she should bring it to meet the twins (?) Obv met with a laugh and "no chance"

I got a message from her mum a few days ago "Hiya, just a random question, are you a dog person?" To which I replied no. She then messaged back and said "oh well if you want to take the dog this weekend for us then I'm sure you will become one" She has a weekend away with her partner that has been booked for ages (which we obv knew about for childcare for DSD) I messaged her back joking and said no way. A few messages back and forth and she explained that her dog care had fallen through at the last min and she's really stuck.
She said that she either will need to cancel the weekend or that me and DSD would need to travel back and forward to her house twice a day to walk the dog so that would be two half hour round trips. I said no that I would be busy and she Jokingly said it would give me something to do while on mat leave

Also to note DSD will be in school on the Thurs and friday so her mum would be expecting me, the toddler and the twins to all take the journey to walk the dog ourselves.

Spoke to DSD who has been begging me to allow the dog to come and I was starting to feel a bit guilty and was starting to consider it UNTIL she let the cat out of the bag and said her mum had never booked dog care in the first place and had told DSD the dog would always be coming with her to our house.

AIBU to just sit and laugh knowing there's not a fuckin chance in the world I'm doing it now

OP posts:
Beautiful3 · 25/08/2021 14:15

Your latest update takes this to a whole new level!!! Wow. Does mil understand that she's got the dog all weekend and will be walking it every day?!!! I hope it doesn't get palmed off onto you somehow!

Kiduknot · 25/08/2021 14:26

Remind mil that it isn’t house trained if it’s left 💩

I do feel sorry for the poor dog but that’s not the ops problem.

Whatinthelord · 25/08/2021 14:39

Glad you seem to be out of it now op. At least she knows she can’t take the piss with you.

Is your MIl a walk over or is she a dog lover who would have happily agreed. Either way I think DSD should be encouraged to help MiL where possible.

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 25/08/2021 14:45

Don't let on it isn't house trained... Let her see ex for the cf she is!

fruitbrewhaha · 25/08/2021 14:48

I'm really cross with this women. That poor dog is shut in the house all day until 4pm? Of course it poos and pees on the floor, what the fuck else is it supposed to do?

That dog needs rehoming.

VickyEadieofThigh · 25/08/2021 14:50

@fruitbrewhaha

I'm really cross with this women. That poor dog is shut in the house all day until 4pm? Of course it poos and pees on the floor, what the fuck else is it supposed to do?

That dog needs rehoming.

Absolutely this. People who think owning a dog is the endpoint of the activity enrage me.
Original poster
Purplewishes · 25/08/2021 16:06

@babyghirl dog arriving with its wee suitcase for a 4 night BnB 🤣

Anyway to update the text to MIL was
" Hi MIL sorry to ask last min but we are away this weekend and our care for dog fell through, could you look after him"

MIL replied no. To which ex said she wouldn't be asking if she wasn't stuck MIL reluctantly agreed but said she will be at work and can't take time off. Ex said she would get someone to walk dog.

She's messaged me again saying MIL will have dog if I wouldn't mind popping in to let him out quickly (MIL lives less than 5 min walk from us)

Have not yet replied. Rolllllls eyes

OP posts:
Amandasummers · 25/08/2021 16:07

This would proper piss me off 🤦🏻‍♀️

phishy · 25/08/2021 16:10

But it’t letting the dog out quickly, tye dog needs walking!

Say no!

LookItsMeAgain · 25/08/2021 16:11

All you have to say is
"Hi CFer, I have already said that we will be unable to look after your dog. This will still be the case irrespective of which home your dog will be in while you're off at the weekend getting your jollies. We will not be able to look after your dog in MiL's house, your house or anywhere else. Please stop trying to get us to look after your dog. Failure to plan on your part does not make it my responsibility to resolve. Have a lovely weekend break"

Paq · 25/08/2021 16:12

CF-ery at its finest. I'm a dog owner and no way would I impose on people like this. You book a dog-friendly break or you don't go.

I would be really worried that she's just going to abandon the poor thing with 3 days worth of food and water and no care at all Sad

DancesWithTortoises · 25/08/2021 16:12

If you say yes she will expect it again and again. Please say no.

zogadog · 25/08/2021 16:14

@LookItsMeAgain

All you have to say is "Hi CFer, I have already said that we will be unable to look after your dog. This will still be the case irrespective of which home your dog will be in while you're off at the weekend getting your jollies. We will not be able to look after your dog in MiL's house, your house or anywhere else. Please stop trying to get us to look after your dog. Failure to plan on your part does not make it my responsibility to resolve. Have a lovely weekend break"
This! The woman is
zogadog · 25/08/2021 16:15

Posted too soon.. the woman is unbelievable!! You have said no she is taking the piss now

SarahBop · 25/08/2021 16:15

[quote Purplewishes]@babyghirl dog arriving with its wee suitcase for a 4 night BnB 🤣

Anyway to update the text to MIL was
" Hi MIL sorry to ask last min but we are away this weekend and our care for dog fell through, could you look after him"

MIL replied no. To which ex said she wouldn't be asking if she wasn't stuck MIL reluctantly agreed but said she will be at work and can't take time off. Ex said she would get someone to walk dog.

She's messaged me again saying MIL will have dog if I wouldn't mind popping in to let him out quickly (MIL lives less than 5 min walk from us)

Have not yet replied. Rolllllls eyes[/quote]
Oh my god, how entitled is this bloody woman!!

Nope, you have plans for the day, don't you OP. Let it shit all over MIL house, because if it doesn't [because you go and let it out] MIL will end up roped in every time, with you bailing her out being the p/t dog toileting assistant.

This woman is a cheeky shit.

MotherofTerriers · 25/08/2021 16:17

She cannot expect you to walk a dog with twin babies and a toddler. Say no or this will happen every time she goes away

CantGetDecentNickname · 25/08/2021 16:17

How about "I don't get along with dogs. I won't have one in my house, or look after one. You need to stop asking me as this is not going to change."

bigbaggyeyes · 25/08/2021 16:18

She's the gift that keeps giving, or she thinks you're the gift that keeps giving! Cheeky fucker telling MIL she'll get a dog walker, where in reality it's you she's asking to do it. Out of principal I'd be saying no now.

Original poster
Purplewishes · 25/08/2021 16:19

MIL also text and said she will come round and drop off keys and I asked what she would be dropping keys off for and she said that ex told her that she would say to me to pop in to let dog out when she was at work. MIL obv had no idea I had said no

OP posts:
tickledtiger · 25/08/2021 16:20

Say you’ve got plans. And tell the MIL the truth

She’s acting like she’s doing you a favour.

Charmatt · 25/08/2021 16:21

If you say yes to this, you could be saddled with this dog every time they go away. If the dog isn't house trained, then it may not be behaviour trained either, putting your twins and toddler at risk.

It's her responsibility to find care for the dog, not yours - she's a CF!

heldinadream · 25/08/2021 16:23

OMG.

Nooooooooooo.
Nope.

Niente.
Not happening, no where, no how, in no shape or form.

The CFs are EVERYWHERE today - there's another CF thread going on and I'm on tenterhooks for the final nooooooooos that finally get through to these people! Grin

LookItsMeAgain · 25/08/2021 16:23

Please say that you've set MiL straight on you declining the request to look after CFer's dog?

KatherineSiena · 25/08/2021 16:24

Absolutely you say no. Apart from not liking dogs (certainly not untrained ones) you have three small children. It’s a massive imposition to ask you to even walk them or let them out.

MagnoliaBeige · 25/08/2021 16:24

I’d tel your MIL that there were no plans to fall through as none were ever made. Then it’s up to you whether you want to step in and help or stick to your guns with your firm no and let your MIL decide what to do next.