CF. DSD, DSDs mum and dog

[Purplewishes]

Currently on mat leave with twins, also have a toddler and DSD13 who stays between 2-4 nights a week depending on what she wants to do.

Have a great relationship with DSD and been in her life since she was 4 and usually have a good relationship with her mum.

DSD has a dog at her mum's, it's a small dog, unsure of the breed, it's yappy and it's not house trained and still pees and shits in the house. (DSD tells me this) I am not a great lover of dogs (traumatic experience when I was younger so please don't let the dog lovers hate me) anyway DSD has been talking a lot recently about her dog and she should bring it to meet the twins (?) Obv met with a laugh and "no chance"

I got a message from her mum a few days ago "Hiya, just a random question, are you a dog person?" To which I replied no. She then messaged back and said "oh well if you want to take the dog this weekend for us then I'm sure you will become one" She has a weekend away with her partner that has been booked for ages (which we obv knew about for childcare for DSD) I messaged her back joking and said no way. A few messages back and forth and she explained that her dog care had fallen through at the last min and she's really stuck.
She said that she either will need to cancel the weekend or that me and DSD would need to travel back and forward to her house twice a day to walk the dog so that would be two half hour round trips. I said no that I would be busy and she Jokingly said it would give me something to do while on mat leave

Also to note DSD will be in school on the Thurs and friday so her mum would be expecting me, the toddler and the twins to all take the journey to walk the dog ourselves.

Spoke to DSD who has been begging me to allow the dog to come and I was starting to feel a bit guilty and was starting to consider it UNTIL she let the cat out of the bag and said her mum had never booked dog care in the first place and had told DSD the dog would always be coming with her to our house.

AIBU to just sit and laugh knowing there's not a fuckin chance in the world I'm doing it now

If MIL is working Thursday and Friday that's no better than leaving the dog in its own home weeing and shitting all over the place.

MIL hasn't agreed to look after the dog. She thinks you're doing it.

it's not house trained and still pees and shits in the house

Does mother in law know this?

@purplewishes

Somebodys knocking at the door Somebodys ringing the bell 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I think I'm gonna popcorn for this one.

MIL is definitely expecting that dog to go home with the OP.

Shamelessly placemarking because I bet dsd turns up with the dog

Ditto

The dog is wondering what op is making for dinner Stick to your guns op

I am intrigued to hear what your MIL replies!

If she has agreed without knowing it craps everywhere, please tell her as I would hate to agree to something like this with no idea of the reality. She might need to replace expensive carpets afterwards!

Ooh awaiting the response to this!

"How did that come about?"

I'm hoping that if MIL thinks that Op has let them down then that question will show that she hasn't?

Maybe she's taking a couple of days off or WFH?

Most likely she thinks that you are collecting the dog as well as your stepdaughter, or that you will be walking it from hers-you just don't want it in your house!

Has the CF no friends or family on her own side?

I got roped into looking after dps ex's dog for 2 weeks. Never again! And I like dogs.
I'm thinking like others that MIL thinks you're looking after the dog.....

@purplewishes
No need to buy tin food just put an extra dinner on buy doggie nappies and you will get in to a routine of changing it after changing the twins you will fell like u work in a childminding setting 😂😂😂😂

[quote Purplewishes]@babyghirl stooooop 🤣🤣🤣

@testingtestingwontoofree ex works Tues weds and Thurs and I believe she walks it before work and then it's left in the kitchen until either she or DSD gets home, hence the pissing and shitting in the house[/quote]
Dog lover here. This woman should not have a dog because she cannot give it the time it needs. Absolutely no way I'd have an un-housetrained dog in my house.

I know you mentioned kennels earlier - but has she given a reason why she can't put this dog into kennels? Mine have always gone to kennels, even when we're away just overnight (and we put him into daycare if we want to be out of the house together for more than 2 hours during the day) because I'm responsible for the care of my dog.

It's good you are checking with MIL!! Any response?

Why is the ex overly reliant on your DH (you/MIL)? Can't she sort it out with her friends / family? This would annoy me!

Yes why is this CF relying on her Ex's family to sort her shit out ? Where is her family in all this?

@Dollypartbaked
Me to like she is not family to any off them anymore only her 2 kids they owe her nothing, but some people use the kids to there right of still being owed and part of the family like no sorry ur not ur an outsider now so owe you nothing.

I can guarantee that the DOG OWNER has told MIL that OP was meant to have the dog but pulled out last minute with several excuses.

OP keep your messages so you can prove otherwise. But ultimately it's not really your business if MIL has been stupid enough to say yes...wish her well and that it behaves itself for her..!

Not your problem. Dog lady is a total CFer

What has your MIL replied?
The reality is though, this isnt really your business as it’s no longer got anything to do with you, aside from the need to clarify to your MIl that you’ve already told exW that you wouldn’t take the dog and that extends to helping your MIL with dog. Ie if your MIL has been sold a story that you’ll help out with the dog while exW is away, put the lid firmly on this one which will give your MiL the change to back out, knowing that you won’t be helping with walks etc.

On a separate point, thank you for not calling the dog a DDog in this thread. I have been amused by the CFery of the exW in this thread but anytime an OP uses pointless abbreviations like things DDog or DCat thereby making the words longer than they already would be, it puts me right off the thread and I find a different one. Thanks for inadvertently catering to my foible!

Well dog is appropriate here as it isn't dear to op!!

@DollyPartBaked

Why is the ex overly reliant on your DH (you/MIL)? Can't she sort it out with her friends / family? This would annoy me!

Yes, why is she so enmeshed with your DH's family.

It’ll give you something to do whilst on maternity leave…

With twin babies a toddler a dsd

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣

Definitely don't!

Really ham up how terrified you are of dogs. Throw in an allergy too maybe.

I would be very interested to hear what the MIL has to say. And whilst I do agree this is (in theory) no longer the OP's concern, in her shoes I would want to be reassured that the MIL knows she is having the dog and has agreed to the arrangement. And if the OP arrives to collect DSD, only to be told "I thought you were taking the dog too" then she should refuse, leaving it with the MIL. That's what I would do.

Personally don't even mention it again to mil.. Not your circus and all that. She can play the hero for all you care!! Don't give her the idea it can come to you with dsd!!

Its not DSDs dog, because she is 13 therefore cannot be responsible for an animal. No child owns/is responsible for a live animal.

Can you make sure you won't be in in case DSD mum has primed mil to simply deliver the dog to you and hope you wont refuse?