Its good that ultra feminine/ masculine traits are being questioned...isn't it?
There's the rub. They are not being questioned, they are being reinforced.
Gender ideology does what it says on the tin. It subscribes, wholesale, to all this feminine = pink, glitter, unicorns and long hair; masculine = blue, machismo, superheroes, no effeminacy allowed kind of nonsense. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Men are the breadmakers, women are homemakers. Public sphere = masculine, domestic hearth and home = feminine.
These are precisely the kind of reductive gender stereotypes feminists in particular have been challenging for at least the last century. There's no demonstrable connection between these imagined gender traits and [immutable] human biology that designates whether we are male or female.
This whole recent gender anxiety stems from the reinforcement of those stereotypes, not a challenge to them. 'I like pink and glitter so I must be a girl' is clearly (to me, anyway) bunkum. In these terms, non-binary becomes meaningless because we are all fall somewhere in that category.
Parcelling yourself up in another identity 'box' and shoving a neat little label on yourself merely reinforces those ideologies. It doesn't challenge them in any way whatsoever. 'Gender' is such a nebulous concept that I've seen anyone able to establish in any way what 'feeling like a woman', or a man, or for that matter, neither, actually entails.
Unsure what the YABU/YANBU refers to. If it's a scratching of your head over the whole messed-up shebang, YANBU. If it's a belief that any of this reductive, dictatorial ideology is in any way subversive, YABU!