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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say women living with men don't own toolboxes

251 replies

54321nought · 23/08/2021 10:17

straw poll!

I don't really know if this is true, I just want to see what the response is on here!

YABU - I live with a man, and I own a toolbox, or share equal ownership of the household toolbox

YANBU - I live with a man, and the toolbox in our household is his property, or mostly viewed as his property

If you don't live with a man, please don't vote! Although, please comment as much as you like.

This is one YABU that I am hoping to "lose"!

Thank you

OP posts:
adoreyou · 23/08/2021 10:44

The tools are mine. 100%

I have purpose built building to do wood work from. He is not allowed to touch! 🤣

NoWordForFluffy · 23/08/2021 10:45

@AphroditeGoddessOfLove

My husband is a builder so we have a tool cupboard that we share but before him I always had my own tools. Not power tools just hand ones because power tools are expensive. For a while when we were first together I did have my own tool box but he kept "borrowing" from it and I never got the tools back so now we just share.
This is my situation too. His tools were / are better than mine, as I was a DIYer and he used his for work, so we use his over mine. I'm more than capable of using them - and do - however.
MintyGreenDream · 23/08/2021 10:46

I haven't got one we've just got a household one

Bryonyshcmyony · 23/08/2021 10:46

He doesn't use my sewing box which I count as a tool box as it mends loads more things than his tool box does!

Original poster
54321nought · 23/08/2021 10:47

Oh I'm very impressed at having 3! It is the most useful tool of all.

It really is, and I've got two, but when I tried to buy one in my son's university town to help him with some DIY, the guys in the hard wear shop had never heard of it

The called it a borer.

OP posts:
Seesawmummadaw · 23/08/2021 10:49

We share the tool box in the same way that we share the sofa, the fridge, the sewing kit etc. It doesn’t belong to one of us.

He probably uses it more but I probably use the sofa more.

Tools for the car are a different matter, they are his. He knows what they are all for and has his favourites in the same way that the paintbrushes are mine and I have my favourites.

drinkingwineoutofamug · 23/08/2021 10:50

We have a tool box each.
Mines all organised where's his is a jumble.

troppibambini6 · 23/08/2021 10:51

Yabu. I have a tool box, I live with dh. I do all the diy. He literally would not have a clue where to start. He can just about change a battery on a kids toy.

Picklypickles · 23/08/2021 10:51

We don't have a toolbox, there are a couple of screwdrivers lying about and dp has a multi-tool thing but that's it! My dad is the guy with all the tools! I'd be afraid to have a toolbox anywhere near my 7yr old son, he can't be trusted!

midgemagneto · 23/08/2021 10:51

On app

YABU
It's my tool box, my drill etc
I bought stuff when I lived on my own
Oddly enough He owns the saws though

gardeninggirl68 · 23/08/2021 10:52

A lot of the time the power tools are bought as a joint venture , they aren't cheap and are more of an investment. They are usually bought for a project, so invariably couples are in together

I honestly think more women in our store buy them I'd say it's 60/40

Some are 'sent in' for things though and that's when I'm usually needed to help. And lots of women but as presents too.

Yourstupidityexhaustsme · 23/08/2021 10:53

We just have house tools? We bought a full set when we first moved out and it’s still going strong a decade later.

ImNotCrazyIWasTested · 23/08/2021 10:54

We have a joint 5ft tall tool box with the overflow tools the power tools are mine and I've named them e.g. Kurt the angle grinder but the handtools in the house are mine, his are in the tool draw in our bedroom 🙂

EBearhug · 23/08/2021 10:54

I don't live with anyone, so the tools are mine. But my mother had a toolbox. Dad didn't, but he did have a farm workshop and a landrover boot full of tools.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 23/08/2021 10:55

The toolbox is shared and I am every bit as confident using the things in it except for some reason I just don't like the power drill. I've got slightly weak wrists and just find it cumbersome so I made DH do anything involving that.

I am much much better than he is at cutting in a straight line/on a square angle etc than DH. Grin

gardeninggirl68 · 23/08/2021 10:55

We have a high amount of new build estates here so DIY is a big big thing

Lots of young couples starting out. It's nice to talk them through what they may need.....

no1 tip from me is a cordless screwdriver! A godsend with flat pack!!

Men like to buy exactly what they need
Women like to buy sets....' cos we will need it one day'.... I think women are the 'toolbox builders'.

knittingaddict · 23/08/2021 10:59

I own a toolbox with my husband. I don't use everything in it, mostly the screwdrivers on a regular basis. I've never put up a shelf, but I do 90% of the decorating prep and decorating. When wallpaper was a thing I did all of that because I learnt how to do it as a teenager. I've tiled and grouted and built flat pack furniture.

Having said all that, my husband would probably say the tools were his. I disagree.

godmum56 · 23/08/2021 11:00

when my husband was alive we had shared tools...the big expensive ones..... but I also had my own tools for my work and hobbies (many of which he had bought me) and he had specialist stuff for fixing his motorbikes, which I could have used but had no need to. We were both gadgetty and had out own swiss army knives, multi tools and other pocket sized stuff. I find the question a bit bizarre...we didn't each have a ironing board or a vaccuum cleaner!

Theunamedcat · 23/08/2021 11:01

My ex husband stole my tools when we split up i had to replace an awful lot ive always had my own tools

ShitShop · 23/08/2021 11:01

I only got my own toolbox after divorcing XH. Before that all tools in the house were technically his, and while I had access to use them, the only one that was mine was a little ratchet screwdriver with interchangeable heads that did most of the things I needed!

Once he moved out and the kids were older DS1 started his own tool kit and would do a lot of the jobs I needed. I bought a cheap set of hammer, chisel, screwdriver, measure tape etc but there were always gaps in it where someone had used a tool and not put it back, so I understand why some men get Territorials over their tool kits! For Mother’s Day I got a pink tool bag in the hope it would stop DS stealing my stuff and losing it but he quite likes the pink tools!!

DP is a man, and has never had nor needed a tool kit as he’d just ask or pay someone else to do jobs. In the last year he has proudly accumulated his first drills and tools etc. at the grand age of 43

Pinkywoo · 23/08/2021 11:01

DH is a builder so has loads of tools in his van and the shed, but I have my own toolbox from before we met in the house. He can use my tools but they have to go straight back where they belong or they end up mysteriously disappearing into the van, never to be seen again.

KupoNutCoffee · 23/08/2021 11:02

The tool box itself is technically my partners but the contents is ours. Untill it outgrows itself, then the toolbox itself will be ours.

The drill is officially mine. I was insistent when I bought it for the house, it was mine and he only borrowed it.

We generally do DIY together but I build the flat pack...begrudgingly only letting him help if I HAVE to have two people.

BlackeyedSusan · 23/08/2021 11:04

When ex left, he took his half filled toolbox with him. My erm, six toolboxes stayed here.

Ariela · 23/08/2021 11:04

DH uses tools in his work. He has several thousand pounds worth, some specialised kit. When we moved in together I had my own extensive set of tools, sadly, over the years this has got eroded as he NEVER returns them. I have two tool kit boxes in the house, and any tools left out are fair game to be added to these. His live in the garage, the workshop and his van. Otherwise I never have any tools when I need them. I do have in the car a Stanley knife and a multipurpose screwdriver, pliers and a hammer too. And due to the never ending shortage of tape measures one Christmas I bought DH 20 tape measures, they're dotted about the house in most drawers, useful places etc.

ShitShop · 23/08/2021 11:05

And while I’m technically better and more experienced than DP at DIY he can afford better tools which would help me immensely. Nothing worse than using a screwdriver and screws that seem to be made of cheese!!