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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say women living with men don't own toolboxes

251 replies

54321nought · 23/08/2021 10:17

straw poll!

I don't really know if this is true, I just want to see what the response is on here!

YABU - I live with a man, and I own a toolbox, or share equal ownership of the household toolbox

YANBU - I live with a man, and the toolbox in our household is his property, or mostly viewed as his property

If you don't live with a man, please don't vote! Although, please comment as much as you like.

This is one YABU that I am hoping to "lose"!

Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
54321nought · 23/08/2021 10:33

I am finding these responses very heartening.

OP posts:
QueenPeary · 23/08/2021 10:33

He had never even heard of a bradawl.

I see my bradawl (actually I have 3!) as one of the most useful tools of all but weirdly few people have heard of them - even when I asked for one in B&Q once I got a blank look.

Underhisi · 23/08/2021 10:33

It's shared. Dh often doesn't put things back so it is not there when I want it but that is true of everything not just tools.

Yesitsbess · 23/08/2021 10:34

My toolbox, my shed(with more biggerer tools like the bench grinder and powertools), my petrol gardening equipment and my logsplitter.

mafted · 23/08/2021 10:34

It started off as ours but now it's his. He has no respect for tools so I shifted all mine out of it and they live in the house.

Sleepthief · 23/08/2021 10:35

YABU. I do 99% of the DIY in our house

PeaAndHamSoupFromAChicken · 23/08/2021 10:35

The toolbox in my house was originally mine. DH has a couple of screwdrivers and a hammer he added to it but the rest is mine and our drill is mine originally as well.

mafted · 23/08/2021 10:35

Also I can't vote on the app so voting threads are annoying Hmm

AryaStarkWolf · 23/08/2021 10:35

Definitely his tool box but tbf he worked in the building line for years and has 2 sheds full of tools because that was his job. I was always the DIY person growing up (growing up in a house full of boys btw who could do nothing DIYish) :p

QueenPeary · 23/08/2021 10:35

I dream of a shed or garage with a proper workshop...

Bellagonna · 23/08/2021 10:37

Married to DH for 20 years now. I own the toolbox, and all the power tools. I've also had to teach him to use them properly. Luckily my dad taught me and I feel very secure and confident doing DIY and car maintenance. I hope to do the same for my DC too.

Dacquoise · 23/08/2021 10:37

We do equal amounts of DIY but play to our strengths. He likes to fix things, I like to decorate and make things look nice. However, I am more than capable of building book cases and putting up panelling when required. We have combined all tools and machinery now we live together ❤

TwoLeftElbows · 23/08/2021 10:37

Well given I do most of the decorating it would be weird for me to consider all the tools his!

I'm not sure you can tell much from the results though, I think there will be a huge response bias.

ConstanceGracy · 23/08/2021 10:37

I don’t have my own tool box, we don’t even actually have a toolbox at all, we have drawers in the garage which have some tools I owned, some he owned before we met and then some we bought once together.

leafinthewind · 23/08/2021 10:38

We have a tool box each. We don't share our tools nicely! Mine lives indoors and is used for fixing things inside the house. He has two enormous toolboxes which live in the garage. I'm not sure what they're used for. It's not bikes, because I have my own small toolbag for bikes.

gardeninggirl68 · 23/08/2021 10:38

@QueenPeary

He had never even heard of a bradawl.

I see my bradawl (actually I have 3!) as one of the most useful tools of all but weirdly few people have heard of them - even when I asked for one in B&Q once I got a blank look.

Maybe because a bradawl is similiar to a gimlet

I work in a similiar retail place and items come under many different names. Older customers use different names, trade customers and younger people....all call tools different names

Amount of people who ask for a Stanley knife but won't accept it if we only have an unbranded knife....yes it's the same thing! But no.

DrunkUnicorn · 23/08/2021 10:39

It's my toolbox because it was gifted to me, not to him. We have bought bits and bobs like screwdriver sets, etc. from shared money. But I am the only one to ever use them, he wouldn't even know where these are.

PurplePlain · 23/08/2021 10:39

I have a small toolbox. DP leaves things lying around so tools often get lost or rusty.

Original poster
54321nought · 23/08/2021 10:39

@TwoLeftElbows

Well given I do most of the decorating it would be weird for me to consider all the tools his!

I'm not sure you can tell much from the results though, I think there will be a huge response bias.

I am sure you are right about the response bias. But it is still interesting
OP posts:
gardeninggirl68 · 23/08/2021 10:41

I'm a retail manager on the building and hardware trade

I don't have a toolbox, dp does

I have a drawer I keep my stuff in, and decorating gear in a shed

Many women buy toolboxes off us and all the tools they need. Also power tools...drills etc.

Seeing lots of young women buying themselves tools too. I love explaining briefly how to use what they need and suggesting things to go with. Most have already YouTubed the task so have a good idea to start with

LavenderAskew · 23/08/2021 10:41

@HurryUpAndStandThere

No ownership of tools or toolboxes here. They just sit in the cupboard under the stairs waiting for either of us to use.
Pretty much this (except for the location) and as someone said above it's "the" toolbox, not "his".

Bit pathetic to think a woman living with a man can't own the toolbox (unless the man is in business, then the tools used in the house will most likely be his tools of the trade.)

takealettermsjones · 23/08/2021 10:41

I am a terrible stereotype I'm afraid and I have never owned a toolbox or my own tools! I know how to do basic DIY and assemble flat packs, but being honest I would normally leave it to DH. Same as he would leave cooking or sewing to me - he's perfectly capable, I'm just more comfortable/experienced etc.

Actually though, I built/assembled every bit of kit for DD and her nursery because I'd started mat leave and DH was still working. (Stupidly proud of self!)

ChocolateChipMuffin2016 · 23/08/2021 10:43

I do all the DIY in my house, I like it, DH hates it, the tools are mine!

ThatSunnyCorner · 23/08/2021 10:43

@QueenPeary

He had never even heard of a bradawl.

I see my bradawl (actually I have 3!) as one of the most useful tools of all but weirdly few people have heard of them - even when I asked for one in B&Q once I got a blank look.

Oh I'm very impressed at having 3! It is the most useful tool of all.
Original poster
54321nought · 23/08/2021 10:44

@gardeninggirl68

I'm a retail manager on the building and hardware trade

I don't have a toolbox, dp does

I have a drawer I keep my stuff in, and decorating gear in a shed

Many women buy toolboxes off us and all the tools they need. Also power tools...drills etc.

Seeing lots of young women buying themselves tools too. I love explaining briefly how to use what they need and suggesting things to go with. Most have already YouTubed the task so have a good idea to start with

Thats great

can you give a rough idea of the proportions of men to women buying tools in general and power tools, please?

OP posts: