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AIBU?

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Original poster

When did you stop taking your children on holiday with you?

119 replies

mutedrainbows · 21/08/2021 18:30

*lighthearted thread

My husband and I are having a disagreement. We have some family friends who are on holiday in Mexico. They're staying in an amazing villa - think huge terrace with beautiful views, an infinity pool, access to a private chef, etc. They just sent some photos through and we saw that their 17 year old son is with them.

My husband (English) thinks it's very weird that he's there with them. In his opinion, once you hit 16/17, you stop going on holiday with your parents because you'd rather stay home alone with the house to yourself (and probably get pissed with your mates) than lay by the pool with your parents for two weeks.

I (American) on the other hand think it's normal and 17 year old me would've been quite put out if my parents went on a holiday like that and I had to stay home alone and cook for myself Grin

Fair enough if you're wanting a romantic holiday for just the two of you but I don't see anything wrong with taking your children on holiday with you into adulthood!

So please settle our debate. Leave the kids at home to party or helicopter parent?

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 21/08/2021 21:53

Mixed age holidays are the norm in my friendship group. I gave my children the option from 13. They could stay with my Mum if they didn't want to come. My DD is already planning her 40 and one of my other DD's 30th. It will be a mixed age group holiday.

JaceLancs · 21/08/2021 22:06

I stopped going on holiday with my parents after I left home at 16/17 bar one family holiday when I took my boyfriend of the time and DB took his girlfriend - we shared a villa and it worked ok
As a lone parent in my mid 30s I had a few caravan holidays with DC and my parents to help with childcare and give me a break
My DC are now 28 and 29 and we get on well enough to have occasional holidays together - sometimes involving their partners
It just depends - my DP hates beach pool holidays in hot countries, as does DDs DP so DD and I go away together to enjoy a bit of sunshine

Boatonthehorizon · 21/08/2021 22:15

Why would you leave a family member especially a younger one, behind. Not include them in a family holiday!?
Teens have feelings too.

therocinante · 21/08/2021 22:34

I stopped going away with my mum at 17 for holidays abroad/weeks away. But we go on the very occasional weekend away together still?

itssquidstella · 21/08/2021 22:40

I went on holiday with my mum until I was 17, then didn't until I was 21 when we had an epic family holiday to Florida. My brother was 19 and my mum decided that, as we'd never had a big trip abroad up to that point (lack of funds), we'd have an all-out holiday together as a last hurrah.

I’ve since taken my mum to Brussels and Malaga, but I was an adult then so it was a different dynamic.

Scarby9 · 21/08/2021 22:46

I stopped at 18, then joined them for a few long weekend 'special' holidays eg. a parent's 50th.
When I was 40 we started having a week away again in the summer as a whole family (although now we younger generation organise and do everything for it) and continued that right through to Covid. I am 60 now, so tell your husband there are a good few years to go!

elliejjtiny · 21/08/2021 22:51

I went on holiday with my parents until I was 20 and they started going on walking holidays in the lake district.

StopGo · 21/08/2021 22:52

My DP's often invited me on holiday, if I could get the time off and fancied I went. I was booked into a cottage holiday in the Lake District recently DS (25) uttered the words 'mum can I come?' We had a brilliant time and he did most of the cooking. I'm happy to go with the flow.

Keladrythesaviour · 21/08/2021 22:55

I'm 32 this year and have a holiday booked with my parents next year. I don't think I've missed a year yet... Obviously we pay a bit more towards it now but I never understood why I'd give up the chance to go on a 'nice' holiday. I still go on holidays with my friends and Husband separately, and we also go on holiday with my in laws Grin. I'll take any holiday I can get!

DeflatedGinDrinker · 21/08/2021 22:56

I'm in my 30s and go on holiday with my mum and siblings. We pay for ourselves. Defo wouldn't have at 17 though that's a child.

iolaus · 21/08/2021 22:57

I asked them from 17/18 - so far only once did one say no (she was 19 I think for a short break - but came on the one a few months earlier) - the 18 year old asked if she could bring her boyfriend as didn't want to leave him behind (as she had the one before and spent most of it on the phone to him)

amusedbush · 21/08/2021 22:59

I stopped going on holiday with my parents when I was 15. I loved having the house to myself and wouldn't have been seen dead with my parents Grin

Honestly, I barely survived my hen do (an overnighter in Edinburgh) with my mother and I was 25 by then. I was so sick of her speaking to me like I was a child, I sacked off breakfast and got the train home early!

Parky04 · 21/08/2021 23:01

When my youngest was 14. He was such a miserable sod!

MrsKeats · 21/08/2021 23:05

My kids are 25 and 22 and still go away with us sometimes.
Your husband is wrong.

saraclara · 21/08/2021 23:11

Ha! my kids are now in their 30s, but we still have mini breaks together as well as trips of our own/with partners/friends.

But full in summer holidays together until they were early 20s. Anyone who wanted to join us/me was welcome. Then they started occasionally inviting me on theirs!

We're not really in each others' pockets, we mix and match who we holiday with, and I have my own solo trips too. But there's certainly never been a 'too old to go with parent/s' thing in our family.

MauveMagnolia · 21/08/2021 23:12

Mine stopped late teens but I have taken my parents on holiday with us in their 70s

Cycle of life

WildRosie · 21/08/2021 23:24

I'd had enough of parent holidays by the time I was 14. I was determined by the next summer I wouldn't be holidaying with M&D that year or from then on - their constant bitching, arguing, bad tempers, sulking etc had pissed me off too much and I just didn't need it any more. I stuck it out for another two years - not completely through my choice - then dug my heels in and stayed home from then on.

Saladcreamormayo · 21/08/2021 23:53

I'm feeling quite sad reading this thread as I grew up never having holidays I do remember neighbours taking me on a caravan holiday one summer though for a few days. 🙂
I always remember thinking school friends were very spoilt and posh 😂when they would come back to school with their suntan and telling us about their holidays abroad. it was a rare occasion that I got taken to a park never mind a holiday!

MojoJojo71 · 22/08/2021 08:40

I still invite my 24yo DS to join us on holiday. He’s a student and couldn’t afford a holiday otherwise so I pay for him. Sometimes he joins us, often he doesn’t but the offer is always there.

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