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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When did you stop taking your children on holiday with you?

119 replies

mutedrainbows · 21/08/2021 18:30

*lighthearted thread

My husband and I are having a disagreement. We have some family friends who are on holiday in Mexico. They're staying in an amazing villa - think huge terrace with beautiful views, an infinity pool, access to a private chef, etc. They just sent some photos through and we saw that their 17 year old son is with them.

My husband (English) thinks it's very weird that he's there with them. In his opinion, once you hit 16/17, you stop going on holiday with your parents because you'd rather stay home alone with the house to yourself (and probably get pissed with your mates) than lay by the pool with your parents for two weeks.

I (American) on the other hand think it's normal and 17 year old me would've been quite put out if my parents went on a holiday like that and I had to stay home alone and cook for myself Grin

Fair enough if you're wanting a romantic holiday for just the two of you but I don't see anything wrong with taking your children on holiday with you into adulthood!

So please settle our debate. Leave the kids at home to party or helicopter parent?

OP posts:
MissDollyMix · 21/08/2021 19:00

I’ve been on holiday with my parents once married and even taken my baby with me! The last time I went on a summer beach type holiday abroad with them was in my early 20’s - maybe 24? They were offering to pay so I wasn’t about to decline! My DM was the earner in our household growing up, I think she liked me coming because it meant she didn’t have to spend so much time with my DF! To be honest though, I’m quite looking forward to having some exotic adult holidays, just me and DH, once the kids have left home (so maybe once they’re 18/20?)

hellcatspangle · 21/08/2021 19:07

Ours came with us two years ago and they're in their 20's! We go on plenty of holidays without them as well.

Planty13 · 21/08/2021 19:09

I don’t think it’s anything to do with him being English as everyone I know feels similar to you.

Orangedaisy · 21/08/2021 19:10

I went when they were going somewhere good (and they paid) and stayed home when it was somewhere rubbish 🤣. And now have kids of my own invite them along for a couple of nights to break up the slog (same shit, different place, less convenient) with the kids, who love having granny and grandad along.

knittingaddict · 21/08/2021 19:12

I didn't go on holiday with my parents beyond my late teens, but I married at 20.

My children never really seem to have stopped going on holiday with us and they are early 30's. Slight exaggeration, but while they lived with us they still came. Sometimes they came for half the time ie we had two weeks abroad and the youngest came for one week. Now my eldest is divorced and local we have a weeks holiday with them once a year.

GameSetMatch · 21/08/2021 19:13

I think up to about 18 is normal, I remember going on holiday with my boyfriend when I was 18 and I felt very grown up!

Furrydogmum · 21/08/2021 19:17

Mine, boys 19 and 23 are free to come or not as they please.. makes me happy when they come though and we always have a great time.

Pottedpalm · 21/08/2021 19:18

Mine are happy to come along, in their 39s!
They joined us as a matter of course until after Uni but we have been away with one or both, sometimes plus partners, many times since. They also go on holidays of their own. We don’t mind, if you ate getting a villa or a cottage there is usually spare room and they both love a smart hotel too.

Pottedpalm · 21/08/2021 19:19

30s not 39s !

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 21/08/2021 19:19

I wouldn’t leave a 16/17 year old home alone as wouldn’t be comfortable with it. Not been an issue though as our holidays are family holidays and everyone gets a say in where we go. We can go as a couple once they leave home after studies etc.

CompleteBarstool · 21/08/2021 19:19

Our oldest is 21 and she'd jump at the chance of coming on holiday with us especially if we're paying !

She still goes away with friends too though

ApolloandDaphne · 21/08/2021 19:21

Mine still come on holiday with us sometimes and they are 23 and 28.

PurBal · 21/08/2021 19:23

I went on holiday with my dad and my husband at 29 😂

Nonicknamesforcatapillars · 21/08/2021 19:24

Dd16 still fully expects to come on holiday with us. She even wanted to come to our caravan in Cornwall this year (we normally go abroad). I envisage them coming with us until they’re at least done with uni unless they get a better offer.

Maybe I’m deluded, but they very much seem like they want to come still.

Original poster
mutedrainbows · 21/08/2021 19:24

Thanks everyone, I didn't say but we had a little bet going and now I'm being treated to Five Guys so cheers Grin

@Planty13 just included that for full disclosure in case it ended up being a cultural difference, apparently not!

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 21/08/2021 19:27

Grin Glad we helped you to win the bet, OP!

JacquelineCarlyle · 21/08/2021 19:27

@katemuff

I am on holiday with my DM now! I'm 47. Then my DM has a week with her DM98 😂😂
Love it! I'm 45 and would love it if I still had generations of family to do that with!

I reckon my DCs will still come with us for as long as we're willing to pay Grin

Buzztothemoon · 21/08/2021 19:28

It’s more of a petering out in my experience. People seem to stop ‘mandatory’ (ie your coming whether you want to or not) family holidays around 16. After that parents might decide to do something they want to knowing it won’t interest the kids. Kids still decide to come when it’s something more interesting or exotic and parents are paying!! Generally mid-20s when parents start to say ‘lovely that’ll be £XX to come along too’.

FizziWater · 21/08/2021 19:28

Mine came in July. They are 23 and 25.
Pre covid they probably came abroad with us once a year to a resort or cruise. We're not going abroad now so it's much easier to book large apartments or cottages in the Uk for them to join us.
I insist on paying for everything although they always offer.

Buzztothemoon · 21/08/2021 19:28

And then of course it starts again later on when kids take their parents!

CeeceeBloomingdale · 21/08/2021 19:31

I stopped going with them at 16 but I work in travel and there’s been a definite shift. Holidays are more exotic and therefore kids go well into their 20s without issue.

Lalliella · 21/08/2021 19:32

I stopped going when I was 16 and totally regretted it! They went on much better holidays than I could afford (except for my post A level one that they subbed, thank you Mum and Dad!)

DS is 18 and just off to uni, we have a few holidays planned next year which are rearrangements of our 2020 and 2021 hols, and he’s adamant he still wants to come. We’ve assured him he can come with us for as long as he wants.

countrytown · 21/08/2021 19:33

They're staying in an amazing villa - think huge terrace with beautiful views, an infinity pool, access to a private chef, etc.

I'd always holiday with my parents if holidays were as above!

countrytown · 21/08/2021 19:33

I think I always holidayed with them but started to have separate holidays from 17 & friends would come with me as well.

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 21/08/2021 19:39

We go away next Fri.
With dc 26 and 32!!