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Original poster

When did you stop taking your children on holiday with you?

119 replies

mutedrainbows · 21/08/2021 18:30

*lighthearted thread

My husband and I are having a disagreement. We have some family friends who are on holiday in Mexico. They're staying in an amazing villa - think huge terrace with beautiful views, an infinity pool, access to a private chef, etc. They just sent some photos through and we saw that their 17 year old son is with them.

My husband (English) thinks it's very weird that he's there with them. In his opinion, once you hit 16/17, you stop going on holiday with your parents because you'd rather stay home alone with the house to yourself (and probably get pissed with your mates) than lay by the pool with your parents for two weeks.

I (American) on the other hand think it's normal and 17 year old me would've been quite put out if my parents went on a holiday like that and I had to stay home alone and cook for myself Grin

Fair enough if you're wanting a romantic holiday for just the two of you but I don't see anything wrong with taking your children on holiday with you into adulthood!

So please settle our debate. Leave the kids at home to party or helicopter parent?

OP posts:
NYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYN · 21/08/2021 20:42

DD is 17 year old.

We ask her every time we book something and she decides if she wants to join us. She much prefer having the house to herself.

I will always offer, until she's finished education anyway

Tigger85 · 21/08/2021 20:44

My parents stopped taking us on holidays with them at age 11/12 when they would have had to pay adult prices for us. We were left with grandparents whilst they went with younger siblings or alone once we were all over 12. I'm planning to take my children until they say they don't want to come or they are actual adults.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 21/08/2021 20:45

I think the point is that holidays are expensive. Once young adults can be left at home alone safely, their parents can choose to go away during academic term time at a fraction of the cost. They also may choose more exotic holidays that they can perhaps afford for a couple but can't afford for 4 or 5 adults (taking their offspring), but that their kids can't yet afford to pay their way on.

Ime it's more common for holidays with parents to continue longer where the parents are very well off and can afford to take the young adults on expensive and appealing exotic holidays (i bet far fewer 19 year olds are queuing up to share mum& dads caravan in south wales than want to go to Mexico with them).....

My last holiday with parents where they paid was when I was 18 & it was a special birthday trip for me. In my 20s I them tended to go away with siblings/friends/boyfriend on much more basic trips. By late 20s I could afford much more expensive trips but it was with my own husband, and by early 30s the situation reversed, and parents sometimes come along as grandparents (we pay).

bringbacksideburns · 21/08/2021 20:45

Hopefully going away soon with an almost 19 year old and a 21 year old. They were with with us on the last one in 2019 and we even tried to entice them to go off and do their own things. ( They preferred to stay with us - but maybe that was because it wasn't a club by place)

It's an expensive business! They are welcome to come with us next time if they pay their way a bit and aren't skint students!

Changemaname1 · 21/08/2021 20:46

I still go and I’m in my 30s 😂

No on a serious note I do still sometimes go away with my parents ( and my own dc)

But also they have plenty of holidays on their own

And obviously I go away with dc ( and sometimes with friends when dc with dad )

But at 17 I would have been gutted if they hadn’t invited me on holiday !

cabingirl · 21/08/2021 20:48

I went on holiday with my parents into my late 20s - it was lovely. My SDDs come on family holidays with us still and they are late 20s too.

loadypoady · 21/08/2021 20:50

When DS was 16 he said he no longer wanted to go on holiday with us. I said you are not staying home alone at which DH said I will stop home with him as you know I am not bothered about going away. So DD who was 14 at the time and I went on a girls holiday with my sister for 2 years and we loved it.
When he came out of sixth form he went on his first lads holiday and we just took DD away He didn’t want to go away with us when at Uni as that was not cool.
Now he is back home guess what he comes on holiday with us as well as mates as we pay for him on the family holiday.

We also have our own holidays away where we say it is our time but I love the fact that we still go away as a family unit once a year.

Libraryghost · 21/08/2021 20:51

I stopped going on holiday with my parents at 16. I went to America at 17 to stay with family. I was an independent soul. I was in my thirties before I started going away with them again. Nowadays I notice young people seem to want to go away with mum and dad for longer but then they are also living at home forlonger. I had a mortgage at 18 so a holiday with my parents would have seemed childish.

Claypotkitchentable · 21/08/2021 20:52

Five years old. We left him at home with a plate of sandwiches and a Thomas the Tank video. He was fine.

recklessgran · 21/08/2021 20:52

We took our 2 youngest to Ibiza in July and they're 28 and 29. They were happy to go on a paid for nice holiday. Repeating that in the next few days with the next one up who is 35 and we're taking her to Croatia. I don't care what anyone thinks they deserve the break as they work really hard in stressful jobs. [think medicine/teaching] and we like spending time together. DH and I do also holiday on our own.

SingingSands · 21/08/2021 20:52

My DD, 17, declined this year's family holiday (Scotland). My DH was really disappointed, and complained about it A LOT. I was more understanding - we were going with extended family and she would be the oldest "kid" by a long way, it really wouldn't have been much fun for her. Of course, if we'd been planning a trip to Spain or Greece I'm sure she'd be falling over herself to join us Grin

CathyorClaire · 21/08/2021 20:54

Eldest ds and dd stopped at 17.

Youngest ds whined so much at 15 about everything he was missing we said we wouldn't take him again and haven't. He stayed nights with DM the following year at 16 and stayed home alone at 17.

Libraryghost · 21/08/2021 20:59

I think there is a reoccurring theme where parents who are holidaying in lovely sunny countries are finding their adult children want to go with them - when it’s a B&B at the coast.. not so much!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 21/08/2021 21:01

Libraryghost exactly that

I think it's even more common when the young adults cant afford much themselves. I got a graduate job after university and could afford a nice sunshine holiday with my boyfriend, whereas a friend who earned very little continued to go away with paid for by her parents until her 30s.

bigTillyMint · 21/08/2021 21:03

DS was 17 and DD 18 on our last family summer holiday IIRC.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 21/08/2021 21:04

Recklessgran at those ages don't they have husbands/wives/kids of their own (or at least longer term bf/gf?) When you only have 25 days annual leave a year I think it's quite unusual by your 30s to choose to use it with your parents rather than your own spouse/kids.

mynameiscalypso · 21/08/2021 21:07

I'm 37 and have been on holiday with my DP at least once a year for my whole life. Currently on holiday with them now. DH and I have holidays without them (in normal times) and they certainly have holidays without us but I just never got out the habit and then started dragging my DH along too. I was always too lazy to want to stay at home and party (think of the mess!) and I'd much rather be lying on a beach somewhere even if it is with my parents.

countbackfromten · 21/08/2021 21:08

Mid 30’s 😂

Libraryghost · 21/08/2021 21:08

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland it’s quite funny these parents who think their adult kids love spending time with them. They love the freebie! I think as you get older you go full circle and you actually want to spend time with your parents again but sorry show me any teen or twenty something who wants to go away with their parents then I am thinking.., either it’s a free holiday or they are a bit odd.

SamVimes6 · 21/08/2021 21:09

I (English) have actually never stopped taking my youngest or her elder sister (my middle daughter) on holiday.
She’s 30 this year and we still go away together with the grandchildren.

It’s what suits you op.

bruffin · 21/08/2021 21:17

I think our first family holiday without both the dc was 2018 when they were 23 and 21, and even then we met up with one of them in NZ for a family wedding for a few days. My ds was travelling there with his gf
All my friends still go on holiday with their dc even in though some of the dc are in their 30s. They have holidays without them but usually one family holiday with them.
They have gone on their own holidays and we have gone on weekends away without them etc

InconvenientPeg · 21/08/2021 21:17

My last but one holiday with my parents was at 15, it was so awful they refused to take me again,tbf they were caravanning and going fishing a lot, so I wasn't too upset! I tried again when DS was a 1year old, and never again!

But currently sat in a holiday cottage enduring cricket on TV to entertain DS 17 and his friend. We're here for 2 weeks and they're leaving to go home on Sunday, so it's a bit of a mix for us.

Woolver23 · 21/08/2021 21:21

I think it depends where the holiday is and for how long. A few days in a cool European city and they'd probably be happy to come, a fortnight in Wales not so much. DD is 19 and she's made her own summer arrangements since she was 16. She's not coming this year because she has a summer job.

shinynewapple21 · 21/08/2021 21:22

My DS started work (apprenticeship) age 17 so with only 4 weeks leave he was choosy how he spent it! If we were going abroad he would come but not for a UK holiday .

Tubs11 · 21/08/2021 21:38

National holidays....16/17
International holidays....30's

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