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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be dying of embarrassment?

92 replies

ikidyouikidyounot · 21/08/2021 03:17

My dad doesn't speak to any member of his family, he's pretty much alienated them all for mental health reasons and to be honest I have followed suit as I felt they could of tried harder with him.

However, last night some wine was consumed and I made it my personal mission to reunite everyone Blush I called each of my aunties and all of my cousins, I spoke to about 6 of them, no idea what I was saying. I'm absolutely affronted, whatever I was saying I will have been slurring my words and ugh, please just kill me! I've woken up and deleted all call logs and messages but I don't know how I'm going to get through today

AIBU to think this is a really big deal or is it not that bad? It wasn't like I called them and was giving them abuse but at the same time I was very very drunk and there is no doubt they will have heard that in my voice. Not just one or two but all of them which I am sure will be discussed. Arrrgh

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 21/08/2021 03:27

Sorry, but this is pretty bad. You need to take a big step away from alcohol.

Original poster
ikidyouikidyounot · 21/08/2021 03:31

God Blush I know, I really don't know what the hell got in to me

OP posts:
Original poster
ikidyouikidyounot · 21/08/2021 03:33

I've never done anything like that but I remember thinking in my head that I was doing a good dead and reuniting my family Blush makes me cringe just saying. I remember I was overly apologising on the phone and telling them I loved them and didn't want to live without them in my life anymore. Fucking hell.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 21/08/2021 03:39

I think the best course of action is to pretend like it never happened, and if you have form for behaving so crazily when drunk, stop drinking.

Original poster
ikidyouikidyounot · 21/08/2021 03:44

@Aquamarine1029 I don't have form for behaving like this, which is why I'm so flabbergasted at what I've done. However, I will be giving alcohol a wide berth for the next while as I really cannot deal with this feeling. Like what the hell was I thinking. Just cringing so so much.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 21/08/2021 03:45

Send them texts apologising for being such an idiot, admitting that you are horrified by your behaviour. Then promise that it won't happen again.

Don't be surprised if they have blocked or muted you though.

Ditch the alcohol.

Original poster
ikidyouikidyounot · 21/08/2021 03:47

@Topseyt have I missed something? Apologise for what?

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 21/08/2021 03:49

Maybe you said a few truthful things to everyone, and they might take notice of some issues.

imanactress · 21/08/2021 03:54

So you phoned family members and tried to reunite them and make amends? Not sure why the previous posters are making it out as if you went door to door and slaughtered their dog. I understand why you might be embarrassed but you were actually trying to do a good thing by the sounds of it. And the fact they answered means they wanted to hear from you.

You've obviously woken up in the middle of night with the intense fear but honestly don't worry. They will probably be talking about it but it won't be 'what a bitch OP was for calling' but rather 'yeah OP was drunk, we've all been there' and who cares? Because you actually will never know what they're saying about you.

Please don't batter yourself for this, your intentions were good and for all you know they are all made up you reached out.

Katiejanej · 21/08/2021 04:04

Don’t worry about it!! These people are family, they love you, and they’ll probably think you were sweet, and well intentioned, if moderately hammered. It might even do the trick and get people talking again. Don’t be embarrassed, phoning family is a nice thing, and talking whilst drunk is a completely normal thing, that’s why pubs exist. You had a few drinks, got a bit sentimental, and tried to build bridges. It’s ok 👌

Ballbagisnotmyname · 21/08/2021 04:07

Don’t beat yourself up - we have all done something we may live to regret when alcohol is involved!

Ugzbugz · 21/08/2021 04:08

Do you actually want contact again? If not fuck it who cares.

And I if you do just text and say sorry I still want us all to sort this out. If they don't reply, close it down. Honestly it's a drunk call who cares? Will this matter in a few week's time etc? Has anyone died? No. Park it.

DrManhattan · 21/08/2021 04:09

Love that you deleted the call logs. I've done that before, like it erases the actual conversation haa

Ugzbugz · 21/08/2021 04:09

Also depends what dad has done. Even so said rules apply but you say you don't expect them to talk to him if applicable etc. If he's a massive dick you should also ditch him.

Ugzbugz · 21/08/2021 04:10

@DrManhattan

Love that you deleted the call logs. I've done that before, like it erases the actual conversation haa
Same Grin like having a shower washes away a night out Hmm
Original poster
ikidyouikidyounot · 21/08/2021 04:20

@DrManhattan

Love that you deleted the call logs. I've done that before, like it erases the actual conversation haa
That's it Grin delete the call logs and archive the messages, helps me to pretend it never happened but I can still read back the messages in a few weeks years when I'm feeling brave.
OP posts:
Ugzbugz · 21/08/2021 04:27

Exactly and if you have a shower you've washed it away, no one knows!

Original poster
ikidyouikidyounot · 21/08/2021 04:30

@Ugzbugz

Exactly and if you have a shower you've washed it away, no one knows!
Right I'm jumping in the shower now Grin
OP posts:
Balonzette · 21/08/2021 04:38

Honestly it's not that bad and it's totally understandable that when you have an upsettkng family situation, you might want to make it better and these things come out when you're drunk. It's not like you phoned them and said you wanted to punch/shag/kill any of them. Drunkenly telling a family member you love and miss them is, if anything, really sweet. I'd not judge a family member for this, would you? I'd probably think 'oh bless her'. In the grand scheme of bad things people have done when they're drunk, this is barely even on the scale.

I DO think that the best way to deal with this, though, is to face it. Phone them and be all casual like haha sorry had a bit too much wine last night but I do mean what I said, I miss you...

I always think standing by the things you said when drunk makes them less embarrassing! (Assuming nothing awful or insane was said!)

Kiduknot · 21/08/2021 04:42

Worst case, no one talks anymore and a wedge is driven through the family - as was already the case.
Best case, they take note of what you’ve said and some bridges are built.

Balonzette · 21/08/2021 04:43

Mumsnet ALWAYS says these things are soooo bad when really they're often not. Very judgey about alcohol on here

allyouneedisconnection · 21/08/2021 04:49

Ignore the negative posts. What you did came from a good place. My ex's family was complicated. I once received a similar call from his dm. Honestly, I actually appreciated it. It did set the path to reconciliation.
Drinking alcohol can sometimes make you feel a bit paranoid the next day. You've probably got a bit of the booze blues. Please don't worry about it. It's not like you posted dog poo through their letter box.

onelittlefrog · 21/08/2021 04:56

It's really not that bad.

prettymessgosh · 21/08/2021 05:03

You should be ashamed of yourself

Balonzette · 21/08/2021 05:05

@prettymessgosh

You should be ashamed of yourself
This has got to be a joke