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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be dying of embarrassment?

92 replies

ikidyouikidyounot · 21/08/2021 03:17

My dad doesn't speak to any member of his family, he's pretty much alienated them all for mental health reasons and to be honest I have followed suit as I felt they could of tried harder with him.

However, last night some wine was consumed and I made it my personal mission to reunite everyone Blush I called each of my aunties and all of my cousins, I spoke to about 6 of them, no idea what I was saying. I'm absolutely affronted, whatever I was saying I will have been slurring my words and ugh, please just kill me! I've woken up and deleted all call logs and messages but I don't know how I'm going to get through today

AIBU to think this is a really big deal or is it not that bad? It wasn't like I called them and was giving them abuse but at the same time I was very very drunk and there is no doubt they will have heard that in my voice. Not just one or two but all of them which I am sure will be discussed. Arrrgh

OP posts:
Nightfeedwatcher · 21/08/2021 05:12

You’ll feel so much better tomorrow, we’ve all done something stupid after a drink and woken up with ‘the fear’
Pretend as though it didn’t happen, at least the balls in their court now if they want to contact you!

Sweetpeasaremadeofcheese · 21/08/2021 05:14

I don't know why anyone is giving you a hard time about it on here Confused if I received a tipsy phonecall from a family member trying to unite the family I would think it was very sweet. And I would have more time for you in the future because you bothered to reach out.

JustTrying2021 · 21/08/2021 05:45

It’s really not as bad as you imagine. We’ve all (well most) got pissed and stirred the pot but it always, always passes. Who knows, maybe it will be the start of something brilliant, you can choose to style it out and build on it sober denying you were drunk if anyone questions it or you can totally forget it happened, deny and move on. But whatever, don’t beat yourself up, you’ve don’t nothing remotely harmful, criminal or unfixable. I hope you don’t feel too grim. There are some unpleasant characters on mumsnet these days, not sure what happened to “be kind”,

Kinsters · 21/08/2021 05:56

I wouldn't dwell on it. If you meant what you said about reconciling then I'd follow up with a text message.

Butchyrestingface · 21/08/2021 06:01

to be honest I have followed suit as I felt they could of tried harder with him.

Do you mean you are estranged from your aunts, cousins, etc?

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 21/08/2021 06:08

Id be cringing too OP, but im not sure its all that bad. Keep yourself busy today and try to put it to the back of your mind.

I hate the way MN treats anyone thats done anything embarrassing when drunk as an alcoholic and the only answer is to never, ever drink again.

LimeRedBanana · 21/08/2021 06:19

Oh God, I’d be dying too. But agree with many others - this is far worse in your head than it will be in the heads of the recipients.

eekbumbler · 21/08/2021 06:23

@prettymessgosh

You should be ashamed of yourself
Oh fuck off.

OP got tiddley and made some phone calls - all in the spirit of reunitng people.

OP even if your family thought you were drunk they didn't say anything and I'm guessing carried on a normal conversation with you.

Nobody at any point said - OMG how battered are you?!

You've got the beer fear - just leave it see what happens, either nobody will bring it up or someone will say - yeah you're right we should reconcile etc etc.

It's not like you told your Aunty that your Uncle was shagging the babysitter - ie very little fall out from a few tiddly convos x

FreeBritnee · 21/08/2021 06:25

I think you’re only course of action is head down, nothing happened here. It sounds like your family doesn’t talk to you and your dad anyway so in essence you haven’t done anything that’s going to filter back too badly. The bit I’d be less keen about is whether they’d assume I had a drinking problem. We’re you drinking alone?

Hypnoshiding · 21/08/2021 06:29

Its not the end of the world.

Although I suppose alot depends on how frosty actual relations were up to this point.

If a relative cut me off then did this, I would roll my eyes the first time.

Can't see you need to apologise unless you did this at midnight and woke all of them up.

MsTSwift · 21/08/2021 06:39

Well it’s done now and sod it you were already estranged so not like there was much there to ruin anyway.

Lindy2 · 21/08/2021 06:40

It doesn't sound too bad to me.

You had too much to drink and then tried to do some good deed phone calls. Plenty of people have done much worse things than that when drunk.

Hopefully you weren't phoning people at 2am. They all had the option to hang up on you if they didn't want to talk to you.

I'd just leave it now. You might get some text messages from them today. Gauge their reactions from what, if anything, happens today.

longwayoff · 21/08/2021 06:51

Oh dear. Don't worry, worse things happen. I answered the phone one nightàq back in the day before mobiles and a close friend was drunkenly shouting insults down the line having just discovered her estranged partner had been having a long affair and had added a new child into the mix. I didn't say a word and put the phone to one side to let her continue for a while qthen replaced the receiver. She thought, and still thinks, that she'd phoned him, not me. I've never mentioned her mistake to her and I never will, she'd be embarrassed that I know some of the things she mentioned so it's better, I think, to keep it to myself.

KindnessMyFriends · 21/08/2021 06:53

@prettymessgosh

You should be ashamed of yourself
I assume it's a joke. The written word misses out so much that tone and body language can convey when someone speaks.
Lucycantdance · 21/08/2021 06:53

We’ve all been there and anyone acting holier than thou is not being truthful! So you made some drunk calls, not a big deal. In a few days you’ll be over it honestly Flowers

GreenTortoise · 21/08/2021 06:58

It's really not that deep. Not sure why the first few posters are calling you an idiot and basically an alcoholic.

It's done now. You can't take it back. Maybe it was the olive branch they all needed maybe it wasn't.

It'll go either way. They will either be glad and happy to reunite or think no, don't want to.

No point sweating the small stuff.

SaltySheepdog · 21/08/2021 06:58

Trying to reunite everyone isn’t that bad, maybe there’s some mileage there as people do change and grow. Being so drunk you can’t remember what was said is concerning though but hopefully that level of intake was a one off?

GreenTortoise · 21/08/2021 07:00

@SaltySheepdog

Trying to reunite everyone isn’t that bad, maybe there’s some mileage there as people do change and grow. Being so drunk you can’t remember what was said is concerning though but hopefully that level of intake was a one off?
Most adult people have been so drunk in their adult life they've had a night of drinking where they can't remember a conversation. People on here really think they're high and mighty sometimes.
Bluntness100 · 21/08/2021 07:06

OP got tiddley and made some phone calls - all in the spirit of reunitng people

Um she said she was so drunk she was slurring her words.

Op I think you were trying to do a good thing, but of course phoning people you are alienated from to take this sort of convo when off your tits is not a good idea. Well intentioned though.

Personally I’d wait till tomorrow and call them again and carry on the convo.

Bluntness100 · 21/08/2021 07:06

Sober of course.

Lemonsyellow · 21/08/2021 07:07

I don’t understand some people f these horrible negative responses. You tried to do a good thing. It may have some effect, you never know. And if it doesn’t, you were estranged anyway, it seems. So what if you were drunk? In vino veritas, and all that.

Thelikelylass · 21/08/2021 07:08

Hey that embarrassment will pass (have a nice bath, not shower!) but if you reaching out to family heals one or two relationships then that's a good thing. We've all done it, they wouldn't have woken up this morning horrified by your call, their day will be filled with other stuff so relax.

cultkid · 21/08/2021 07:10

Omg I don't know why everyone is saying don't worry

Sit back and see if it's helped

It can't have been any worse then it was

It's nice you care

Youve got beer fear don't worry about it

Have a lovely day and remember even when drunk your intentions are good

Now leave them to it though and don't hound them

XX

cultkid · 21/08/2021 07:11

Saying to worry that should say

I am telling you not to worry!!

eekbumbler · 21/08/2021 07:12

@Bluntness100

OP got tiddley and made some phone calls - all in the spirit of reunitng people

Um she said she was so drunk she was slurring her words.

Op I think you were trying to do a good thing, but of course phoning people you are alienated from to take this sort of convo when off your tits is not a good idea. Well intentioned though.

Personally I’d wait till tomorrow and call them again and carry on the convo.

So what if she was slurring her words? Can you not say tiddley for drunk now?

Okay - OP got battered - but it makes no odds, it's not like it has caused any friction as I'm sure OP would remember that.

I wouldn't even call again - you've made the first move, they can think on it and get back to you. No need to go over it anymore. I'm sure it's all been said Grin