Christening’s and Godparents - How many did you have? (If applicable!) Is 6-8 too many?!

[ChristeningConundrum]

OH and I are planning to have a christening for our DC at some stage but the main decision of how many godparents we have is a big stumbling block. I would like 6 but ideally 8. Simply because each person is important to us (obviously!) and it would be very difficult to narrow down the number of people. For example, 2 of them are siblings and it would be like choosing one over another which we wouldn’t do. If we have 6 it would be 4 from my side and 2 from OH’s side. I would prefer 8 so that we both have 4 from each of our families.

OH says either number is far too many and that ‘it’s just not the done thing’. That’s his only reason for not liking the idea, he thinks it’s strange. He has no objection to any of the prospective godparents and likes/loves them all.

I know it would be a lot but does it really matter if it’s not what most people do?
I feel it’s could be compared to the number of bridesmaids someone might choose, it’s up to the individual/couple.

We are older parents, our DC is long awaited and has brought so much happiness to us and both of our families. It means a lot to me to have a christening and choose godparents who are important to both of us. OH wants our DC to be christened and apart from that and the number of godparents he’s not got much to say about what we do with the arrangements.

BTW, we are very average people, no delusions of grandeur or anything like that! I don’t know why I think it’s important to say that but I do.

I thought I’d ask MN what the general consensus is so that we can gauge what is ‘normal’ and go from there, so here I am!

If you happen to have lots of godparents for your DC’s I would love to know how many!

Sorry it’s so lengthy and far too many exclamation marks!!!!

Lastly, I see the irony in asking MN what’s ‘normal’ and what other people have done whilst also saying does it matter what other people do!

But up to you obviously…

Just, if I was one of 8 godparents not sure I’d feel very special! Not that that’s what it’s about but you know what I mean hopefully.
I suppose then what’s the difference to just being a close supportive family friend? And surely the more you have the more people might be offended they’re not asked!

Also agree that siblings is a bit pointless. We picked aunts and uncles for our kids plus one or two others (so 3/4 each), and tbh I can’t remember which aunt/uncle is godparents to which and they don’t do anything extra or different for the one they are godparent to

I'd skip the blood relatives. Being the DC's aunt or uncle is already lovely. Pick 3 friends and be done.

My godparents were two grandparents and an aunt - so no one 'extra special just for me'.

We were under pressure to use siblings as godparents for DS and DD, but I made sure they had other non-family choices as well. They each had 4 godparents (2 male and 2 female). I think the 'correct number' was 3.

If you choose all your favourites for child
#1, you may find you have none left to use for children #2 onwards.

6 or 8 is far too many.

3 is ideal (4 is a push).

I would have siblings first and then if you want the closest 1/2 friends. Presumably you will have other children so don’t waste all GP in one swoop.

Op some people have 2, 3, 4 or 5+ children so can have different god parents for each. If this is your long awaited for baby you give them as many godparents as you like. If all those 8 people are really special to you just go with. I am sure none of them would feel undervalued as someone suggested. I'd say the opposite, that they would all feel honoured. Don't let people on mumsnet who don't understand your situation dull your happiness.

With it*

The done thing is 3? 8 is ridiculous I think.

I hope you find a way to include all of your lovely friends/relatives in your child's baptism OP. I'm a celebrant, and a really nice ritual at Naming Ceremonies that I do, is a 'welcoming circle' where you ask your supporting adults and any guests that are there, to form a 'welcoming circle' around your child (this can be an actual real circle or a symbolic one). Your celebrant will then say some lovely words which the guests either repeat, or reply 'we will' or 'we do'. It's a really powerful ritual and that way you include everyone 🥰

I wanted to let you know I had six Godparents, partly because we were told by the Church that we needed to have two Godfathers, it is likely to be our only child and it was an incredibly long journey for us, so the Godparents were understanding of this, we spoke to the Vicar about this also and they thought it was understandable and appropriate given how long awaited our child was and how the God parents had supported us in our journey.
It was difficult initially to make the decision and I thought from my own experience I should narrow it down but on reflection I wouldn't change our decision, it was a great day and no one seemed to think it unusual at all, so do what you feel is right for you and your family, it is your choice and albeit received practices /protocols play their part in what is deemed 'acceptable' there are many that do it differently for a wide variety of reasons. I wrote some very special invitations to our chosen Godparents which they loved and I was then able to rest easy and get on with planning the rest of the day.
Wishing you & your family a very special Christenjng day🕍💛

we were told by the Church that we needed to have two Godfathers
What church was this?

2 max , a godmother and a god father , I think 6 or 8 is ridiculous, anc who would you ask if you have more children

4, Max, and exclude siblings as they are already aunts, uncles. RC here and we’re big on ceremony but I’ve never heard of more than 4 other than royalty, or a Kardashian.

I am my nephews godmother, why I don't really know, but there was 3 of us on total I think. I had 2 Godparents. My children aren't Christened, but we had Thanksgivings for 2 of them and had nominated guardians I suppose. Just 2, both of our best friends, and it's the same for both child. 6-8 is a vast amount of people, especially if they will be involved in your child's life anyway. Are any of them who you would like to have your child if the worst were to happen? I would proabably stick with that person, plus 1 more from the other parents side.

I thought it was only possible to have two male and two female? I think 6-8 is a bit much, and also it would kind of remove the lovely gesture - I'd be touched to find out I was asked to be godparent, but if I found out 7 other people were also asked, it would kind of ruin it a bit like - oh okay. They just asked everyone! Siblings don't need to be godparents! They're already close family!

I am guardian (non-god, godparent) to my two much younger cousins - born when I was in my 20s. I’m also one of 4 godparents to my friend’s son. She had two local to them (other side of the world), and two from here (where she grew up). I see my NZ godson almost every year, and my cousins pretty much monthly. They are different relationships, largely due to distance, but the cousins would stay with me for the weekend sometimes, I would take them to the funfair/bowling, etc. My Kiwi godson I see on FaceTime mainly, when I chat to his mum every couple of weeks, but he knows me, and our relationship.

6-8 godparents seems to be excessive. Can you work out who would have the best kind of relationship/care for them. Again, I’d echo if you’ve got siblings in there, they already have an important role as aunts/uncles.

Good luck with your deliberations!

A Godparent is someone who is supposed to help you raise your child in the faith. And have role in your child's spiritual upbringing. If it's an RC baptism then at least one of them must be Catholic. 6-8 people is far too many. It's a solemn religious ceremony. Not just a chance for a party.

I'm Anglican and we had 3, that was the mandated number. Two of the same sex as the child, one of the opposite sex.

Surely the idea is that the godparents make sure the child has a proper religious upbringing - it's not appropriate to have 8 !