Christening’s and Godparents - How many did you have? (If applicable!) Is 6-8 too many?!

[ChristeningConundrum]

OH and I are planning to have a christening for our DC at some stage but the main decision of how many godparents we have is a big stumbling block. I would like 6 but ideally 8. Simply because each person is important to us (obviously!) and it would be very difficult to narrow down the number of people. For example, 2 of them are siblings and it would be like choosing one over another which we wouldn’t do. If we have 6 it would be 4 from my side and 2 from OH’s side. I would prefer 8 so that we both have 4 from each of our families.

OH says either number is far too many and that ‘it’s just not the done thing’. That’s his only reason for not liking the idea, he thinks it’s strange. He has no objection to any of the prospective godparents and likes/loves them all.

I know it would be a lot but does it really matter if it’s not what most people do?
I feel it’s could be compared to the number of bridesmaids someone might choose, it’s up to the individual/couple.

We are older parents, our DC is long awaited and has brought so much happiness to us and both of our families. It means a lot to me to have a christening and choose godparents who are important to both of us. OH wants our DC to be christened and apart from that and the number of godparents he’s not got much to say about what we do with the arrangements.

BTW, we are very average people, no delusions of grandeur or anything like that! I don’t know why I think it’s important to say that but I do.

I thought I’d ask MN what the general consensus is so that we can gauge what is ‘normal’ and go from there, so here I am!

If you happen to have lots of godparents for your DC’s I would love to know how many!

Sorry it’s so lengthy and far too many exclamation marks!!!!

Lastly, I see the irony in asking MN what’s ‘normal’ and what other people have done whilst also saying does it matter what other people do!

6 to 8 is just ridiculous.
What have potential future children got to do with anything?

8????

If they’re all important get married and have them on your top table

Have 2 godparents. It’s not a popularity contest.

Hi, so I would rule out siblings, they already have a special role to play, we had a large number of siblings so just said none of you.

Then who has been christened of your friends? Many vicars do not accept god parents who have not been christened.

Why? Because being a god parent is guiding your baby in faith, so next question, who of this bunch is religious? Pick the religious ones who can for fill their obligations

Can I ask.... are you religious at all? Feels like it's more about the party than the meaning.

Remove all family members. If something happens to you both, they will have responsibility before godparents anyway.

Pick 2 or 3 max close friends if you are religious and this follows your religion. If your not, don't waste everyone's time, including your church and guests

3 is traditional: 2 godmothers and one godfather for a girl and vice versa for a boy.

My advice, if you’re struggling to narrow it down, is not to pick family members. They will already be connected to your child through the family relationship.

I baptise a lot of children and 6-8 is quite excessive! Normally families have between 2 and 4.

I had 3 for dc1 and 3 for dc2.
I actually had 5 for dc3 but they were all committed Christians who took their Godparent promises really seriously and I picked them for that reason.

I'm not religious but I really think it's making a bit of a mockery of the whole thing to have so many. Do you actually understand the role of godparents, or do you just like the idea of giving people a special title?

Op I'd stick with 1 or 2. Godparents is about who is going to play a role in your child's life and help raise them in the Christian faith.
How many of those 8 are regular church goers?

BTW the Church of Scotland don't really recognise Godparents. The whole congregation welcomes the child into the church.

3 is traditional: 2 godmothers and one godfather for a girl and vice versa for a boy.

I've never heard this. I always thought 2 was traditional.

I have never ever heard this tradition of three! I’m Catholic and it’s one godmother, one godfather.

Anything else sounds awful and crass!

I remember gong to a baptism now I think of it with a bunch of godfathers. They were all doctors. Oh he’s a consultant xxx he’s a specialist at xxx he’s senior whatever at xxx and I thought ewww how greedy!!!!!

Three is not traditional! It's two.

They are ridiculous numbers. Pick one each if you must. It bears no relevance on who will actually be there for your child. Your siblings will play a part of their choosing regardless of god parent status so that seems redundant.

@ballroompink

I haven't had my DCs christened but growing up I always remember my mum saying the correct number was three - one man and two women for a girl and one woman/two men for a boy. No idea if this is some weird outdated bit of etiquette that no-one sticks to any more though! 6-8 seems very excessive.

Coming on to say exactly this. And not family members generally, unless they are outstandingly special and you have a closer relationship with them than other relatives.

But it's what's right for you and your family- although perhaps expect a few raised eyebrows when it becomes clear there are more than the norm.

And then smile sweetly and move on. 🙂

Practicing Christian here. All 4 of our children have 6 Godparents each.

If I was asked to be a godparent, then found out I was one of 8, I’d decline because I’m obviously not important enough and just a number.

I can’t imagine a christening with that many people milling around a child. Reminds me of episodes of a certain OTT wedding programme with 6+ bridesmaids.

Do what you like, life is short. I personally think godparents shouldn’t be family members as they’re already close to the child and have a role so to speak.

Three is the norm in the families I know, and how I grew up (CofE). We had four which I thought was definitely the max, a man and a woman from each side and no siblings. I'd probably cut the siblings (aunties and uncles are very special anyway) and not have couples unless you would have them both in their own rights.

I have two goddaughters and I'm one 1 of 3 to one and 1 of 5 to the other who chose 2 couples and 1 whose husband would not be interested in being a god parent.

I’d go for 2 or 3 any more is just ridiculous.

We didn’t choose our siblings as they already play an important part in our children’s lives as they are aunts and uncles already.

We had 2 godparents, my own aunt and uncle , none of my dh’s family are religious so couldn’t choose any of them and I wanted to choose people who were Christians. People who when they took the vows actually meant it,

I have 3 godparents. My dc have 4 each, 2 of my godparents are godparents to all of my dc. My goddaughter has 6 godparents. My dc and my goddaughter, have godparents of different ages, with different skills and experiences. Myself, my dc, and my goddaughter, all benefit from ongoing relationships with the godparents.

@user1471457751

I've never seen more than 4. An easy way to cut it down would be to not include any relatives as godparents as they have an important role in your DC's life already

This, except I’ve never seen more than 3. Traditionally I believe 2 of the same sex as the chips, one of opposite sex.

Each of my DC has ONE godmother and ONE godfather. Our church requires godparents to have been both baptised and confirmed themselves. Like the ad says, "one is plenty".

Eight is -verging on ridiculous- too many.

DC1 has three (all practising Christians and regular church goers), DC2 had five (also all practising Christians and regular church goers) but one died a few years ago. None of them are family members and they all have their own ways of doing their Godparenting. DC2 ended up with five because we'd been told it was unlikely we'd be able to have DC2. Two of the Godparents were massively supportive during that journey and the CE church we attend had no issue whatsoever with the number of Godparents we'd chosen.

have godparents of different ages, with different skills and experiences
You know it's not the primary function of a Godparent to impart skills and benefit of experiences, right?

I understood three to be the norm. Two of the same sex as baby, one of the opposite.

That's what it was when I was kid and went to church in the 60s anyway.