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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - They forgot DS(5) lunch

113 replies

Raaraaboonah · 19/08/2021 19:15

DS (5) has been going to a holiday club for a couple of days a week. Today they had a day out to an activity centre which was a coach ride away. I dropped DD off this morning with a backpack containing his drink, swimmers and coat etc and he was carrying his packed lunch in a lunch bag.

Somehow the lunch bag got left behind so he didn’t have his lunch with him. I gather they cobbled together a lunch from other children for him but I don’t know whether to be pissed off that they didn’t remind him/check that he had his lunch bag before they left.

I’m about 50:50 on it - I should have probably put it in his bag but also he is only 5 and hasn’t been on a trip very often so I would have thought they might double check.

So who is BU?

YABU - I should have put the lunch bag in his main bag, or
YANBU - they should have double checked/reminded the younger children to make sure they had all their things

Am off to pick it up tomorrow a d interested in the general views before I think how to approach it

OP posts:
Livinthedream84 · 20/08/2021 17:53

They have numerous children to keep safe and check they missed one child’s lunch, it happens. At least they tried to feed him. If your post was they forgot DS lunch and he went hungry all day I’d be saying YANU to be angry but he was fed, no harm done. I hope he enjoyed his trip.

aiwblam · 20/08/2021 17:57

Next time use a carabiner clip to clip together the necessary bags. My teens still use these. Anyone can forget bits. I imagine the course leaders had far too much to attend to anyway.

cherish123 · 20/08/2021 18:00

At least he had something to eat. I would not complain. It happens. They may have asked everyone to remember their lunch or assumed it was in the backpack.

GintyMcGinty · 20/08/2021 18:01

Mistakes happen when humans are involved.

They made sure he was fed.

Let it go.

Dnaltocs · 20/08/2021 18:14

I’d thank them for finding him lunch. We all learn in life and you have learned. Choose your battles and this isn’t one to fight. Be pleased he was with caring folk.

InFiveMins · 20/08/2021 18:27

YABU. It's not their job to check your child hasn't dropped or left their lunch bag.

THEDEACON · 20/08/2021 18:51

Having run holiday clubs for 60 plus children YABVU You shouldn't have given him two bags you shouldn't expect leaders to check that he has two bags In future put everything in one bag and be more grateful for the care your son is getting He was fed there isn't a problem

BoredZelda · 20/08/2021 18:57

I’d have put the lunch bag in the backpack, but they should have checked. I’d have been livid if they took some of my kid’s lunch to feed another kid though. Surely the activity centre had somewhere to buy food, or they could have given up their own lunches. You don’t take a kid’s lunch away from them.

BoredZelda · 20/08/2021 18:58

It’s not their job to check your child hasn't dropped or left their lunch bag.

It is when the child is only 5.

DingDongThongs · 20/08/2021 19:00

He ate. The lunch bag belongs in the other bag. Feel sorry for the other kids who had to share because your child didn't remember his lunch.

How old is he? My 4 year old would never forget her lunchbox.

Frazzled2207 · 20/08/2021 19:02

@helpfulperson

To be honest I would have checked each child had a bag. It wouldn't have occurred to me to check that their lunch was in the bag not separate.
This. I thought you were going to say that he didn’t get lunch which would be very bad but I think they did well to find something for him.
stripedbananas · 20/08/2021 19:06

Surely most people would be grateful that Lunch was cobbled together for their DC and that they have learnt that they will in future have one bag big enough to fit in everything including a lunch box so this never happens again

SeoultoSeoul · 20/08/2021 19:07

Seriously? You complicated things by sending two bags on a school trip. They will have fed him from their own staff lunches or whatever other children donated.
If I were in your position I'd send in a couple of packets of biscuits tomorrow for everyone to share to say thanks for feeding him.

Lindy2 · 20/08/2021 19:09

I imagine getting lots of young children onto a bus, checking they are all on, checking they are sitting properly and have seatbelts on and checking they all have their bags, is a challenging enough task.

Checking that one child has their extra bag with their lunch in it that they've gone and put down somewhere else before getting on the bus, was understandably a step too far.

He was kept safe and entertained, he had some lunch and he hopefully had a good time - all is fine.

caspersmagicaljourney · 20/08/2021 19:13

I would have ensured that everything was in one bag really. This would have made matters much simpler.
I have supervised/helped out on such trips before and we check that each child has a bag with them. Before we set off, and return, we clearly ask that the children have collected all their belongings. One of us stays at the back to ensure everything has been picked up just in case😎.
You'll be amazed how often adults leave things behind though🙄

Madamum18 · 20/08/2021 19:16

Ofcourse they should have checked. BUT mistakes happen! At least they cobbled together a lunch, rather than leaving him with no lunch. Assuming they apologised for the error!!??.

And in future attach his lunch to the rest of the clobber. He will have been one of many children; so much easier when one only has one child to think about.

Planty13 · 20/08/2021 19:37

I’d have put it in one bag. I would thank them for sorting him but wouldn’t have any other comments.

BlusteryLake · 20/08/2021 19:47

If it's any consolation, two bags not clipped together is still a recipe for loss of one with my DC and they are teenagers!

Crispyturtle · 20/08/2021 19:49

This is a non-issue. Sometimes things don’t go exactly to plan, sometimes things get missed, thats life. He didn’t go hungry, he had lunch just not the lunch you packed. I can’t believe you’re going to ‘pick it up tomorrow’, you need to chill out

Foquita · 20/08/2021 19:50

You shouldn’t have sent him
with two bags, he’s only five.He got fed, that’s what matters, there are worse things to make a fuss about it.

GreyhoundG1rl · 20/08/2021 19:58

Ofcourse they should have checked. BUT mistakes happen! At least they cobbled together a lunch, rather than leaving him with no lunch. Assuming they apologised for the error!!??.
They most probably did check if all the kids had their bag. Why would they expect any of them to have two?
They don't owe op any apology whatsoever, they managed to feed him despite the multiple bags, no harm done and no blame attaching to any of them.

DingDongThongs · 20/08/2021 19:59

@Crispyturtle

This is a non-issue. Sometimes things don’t go exactly to plan, sometimes things get missed, thats life. He didn’t go hungry, he had lunch just not the lunch you packed. I can’t believe you’re going to ‘pick it up tomorrow’, you need to chill out
This OP.

You need to teach him to be more resilient

apalledandshocked · 20/08/2021 21:18

@Raaraaboonah

In hindsight I should have shoved it in the rucksack but it was one of those insulated carry lunch bags they like and as most 5 year olds do, he was insistent that he wanted to carry it.

Good to know the broader view. I will be very thankful that they sorted him when I pick it up and will remember next time. Thanks!

Well then, your 5 year old learnt an important lesson about listening to mummy and taking her advice (not that the lesson will stick in any way, but at least you will have something to refer to the next time he insists on carrying something that really needs to be put away). Just use it as a teaching moment.
Madamum18 · 20/08/2021 22:19

@GreyhoundG1rl

Ofcourse they should have checked. BUT mistakes happen! At least they cobbled together a lunch, rather than leaving him with no lunch. Assuming they apologised for the error!!??. They most probably did check if all the kids had their bag. Why would they expect any of them to have two? They don't owe op any apology whatsoever, they managed to feed him despite the multiple bags, no harm done and no blame attaching to any of them.
Yes maybe they did check. Yes maybe they assumed he only had one bag. Yes They did get him a lunch which I acknowledged! Yes it is hard with so many kids and bags. Yes OP would have been better to send the lunch attached to the rest of the clobber...!!! So we are agreed on all that!

At the end of the day an error was made , an apology for not realising about the bag, a word about ensuring next time bags are not separate ...and an acknowledgement from the OP that she would have been better to have attached it ...all makes for mutually helpful and respectful relationships for the benefit of the child, who is actually the important one in this scenario!!

|Dear dear me!!

EatAllDay · 20/08/2021 23:24

I’d imagine they probably said 10 times “Does everyone have all their belongings “ and your ds prob just forgot he had two bags. Did he get enough lunch from the other kids? It’s a slightly annoying situation but he’s safe and well .. and didn’t starve.. all’s well that ends well