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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - They forgot DS(5) lunch

113 replies

Raaraaboonah · 19/08/2021 19:15

DS (5) has been going to a holiday club for a couple of days a week. Today they had a day out to an activity centre which was a coach ride away. I dropped DD off this morning with a backpack containing his drink, swimmers and coat etc and he was carrying his packed lunch in a lunch bag.

Somehow the lunch bag got left behind so he didn’t have his lunch with him. I gather they cobbled together a lunch from other children for him but I don’t know whether to be pissed off that they didn’t remind him/check that he had his lunch bag before they left.

I’m about 50:50 on it - I should have probably put it in his bag but also he is only 5 and hasn’t been on a trip very often so I would have thought they might double check.

So who is BU?

YABU - I should have put the lunch bag in his main bag, or
YANBU - they should have double checked/reminded the younger children to make sure they had all their things

Am off to pick it up tomorrow a d interested in the general views before I think how to approach it

OP posts:

lottiegarbanzo · 19/08/2021 20:25

The main thing is he was fed.

You could talk to them about making it clearer to parents, what is expected e.g. one bag with everything in it.

diddl · 19/08/2021 20:26

I suppose it might depend where the bag was left & how difficult it would have been to spot with a quick scout around?

I'm guessing that they didn't get straight on the bus?

SeaShoreGalore · 19/08/2021 20:26

I can’t believe you wouldn’t just thank them for making sure that he got fed.

NerrSnerr · 19/08/2021 20:30

This happened to me in school when I was in reception on a school trip to the Humber Bridge Country Park. I remember that I ate about 3 bananas for lunch. It stuck in my mind as I remember the teachers giving me unwanted food but it certainly didn't traumatise me.

Nayday · 19/08/2021 20:32

I'm pretty meh about this, a one off mistake was made, they sorted it, no one was hungry - no need for anyone to be pissed off really.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 19/08/2021 20:35

Always have as few bags as possible for these kinds of things

LadyCatStark · 19/08/2021 20:38

It’s just one of those things- an accident, it’s no one’s fault particularly. He still got fed in the end.

itsgettingwierd · 19/08/2021 20:40

I work in education.

This is the reason that teachers and any TAs always have what seems to be a huge packed lunch on trips!

There's always a soggy sandwich, crushed yoghurt, bust banana, split bag of crisps etc (multiple times!)

You sound sensible OP. It's easy to wonder how much supervision your little ones have when out and judge what a club will do compared to a parent.

And not many on AIBU listen and respond nicely!

Awalkintime · 19/08/2021 20:52

I would thank them for managing the problem well. They probably bought him dinner out of their own money.

There is no complaint to be made. He was fed.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 19/08/2021 20:59

When I worked at a place similar with kids that age, lunches always went into the fridge buckets by group, then the buckets would be emptied in a bag that the staff carried. We did the fridge bucket every day, so in my several years of working there we never had a forgotten lunch.

At worst we’d have a parent forget to leave a lunch, if on a field trip, the child would be bought something and parents charged. Like I said though, in 3 years that never happened.

But yeah, in your case shove the lunch in the bag. Sorry but that was doomed to fail from the start.

Birminghambloke · 19/08/2021 21:04

You confused the whole issue by having separate bags. Why would you not pack everything in one bag? Unless your child is guaranteed to remember both bags, keep it simple! They checked he had his bag. Kindly, they put together a lunch and he was fed.

It’s such a stressful thing and a lot of extra work taking children out on a trip to give them a good time. I would not moan at them. They probably already are berating themselves if saw the box on return. I’d imagine next time their letter to parents will refer to how many bags!

Lockdownbear · 19/08/2021 21:07

He didn't go hungry so I'd offer thanks / money to whoever gave him lunch or bought him something.

Lesson learnt little kids are better with one bag. My kids get a bus to school, school were trying to push book bags for homework. I just saw bookbag & lunch bag as a disaster waiting to happen.

Yourstupidityexhaustsme · 19/08/2021 21:19

There should be a check list on drop off as to who has what. However I’m surprised there isn’t a rule that children can only take one bag.

It’s not his fault at all, he’s five years old. I’m 50/50 that he shouldn’t have had two bags and that staff didn’t check that the little ones had everything. Where was the bag left? I’m surprised they didn’t do a final check before they left.

Regardless, lesson learnt. Either clip the lunch bag to his bag or buy him a backpack that will fit the lunch bag in.

Skyla2005 · 19/08/2021 21:24

Let it go !

Rosesviolets · 19/08/2021 21:27

Should have put the lunch bag in the backpack.

Darthwader · 19/08/2021 22:16

His lunch was forgotten. Not a Catastrophe unless someone makes it into one. They gave him a lunch. Alls well that ends well.

Userg1234 · 19/08/2021 23:06

Fuck me your a pain...ooos there's two bags for a fucking 5 years old to look after...fuck the people volunteering to look after him, 30+ kids....oh he got something to eat cos you couldn't be fucked to just pack one bag

earthyfire · 19/08/2021 23:43

If I've ever been told to put lunch in a plastic bag then that bag goes in the main backpack otherwise I just know the bag would get left behind.

LadyCatStark · 20/08/2021 11:52

@Userg1234

Someone got out of bed the wrong side this morning 😂.

Ribrabrob · 20/08/2021 14:33

Who told you that cobbled together lunch for him from other children’s lunches? I highly doubt they did that! It was probably the staff/volunteers who gave their lunch to him.

GreyhoundG1rl · 20/08/2021 14:34

@Ribrabrob

Who told you that cobbled together lunch for him from other children’s lunches? I highly doubt they did that! It was probably the staff/volunteers who gave their lunch to him.

Yes, they really won't have done that.

QueenHofScotland · 20/08/2021 14:35

Well for me there is a bigger issue.

For dd2, this wouldn’t have been a big deal. She would have been fed and that’s all that matters.

For DD1 this would b e caused potentially significant issues as she has multiple severe allergies that require epipens.

So for one child I would have been pretty chilled and the other I would be livid. But I guess for kids with additional needs such as allergies or other medical conditions I might expect more vigilance.

GreyhoundG1rl · 20/08/2021 14:41

Or you could just have made sure the lunch was in her bag, Queen

TinyTear · 20/08/2021 14:46

@helpfulperson

To be honest I would have checked each child had a bag. It wouldn't have occurred to me to check that their lunch was in the bag not separate.

This. I bed they asked "does everyone have their bag" and not what was in it...

Whatinthelord · 20/08/2021 15:14

They probably should have gave a reminder for everyone to check they had their lunch bag.

Having said that it seems like a fairly minor issue that they manage to sort out. It’s not like he went without lunch or anything.

Maybe it’ll be a learning curve for the staff and your son.

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