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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - They forgot DS(5) lunch

113 replies

Raaraaboonah · 19/08/2021 19:15

DS (5) has been going to a holiday club for a couple of days a week. Today they had a day out to an activity centre which was a coach ride away. I dropped DD off this morning with a backpack containing his drink, swimmers and coat etc and he was carrying his packed lunch in a lunch bag.

Somehow the lunch bag got left behind so he didn’t have his lunch with him. I gather they cobbled together a lunch from other children for him but I don’t know whether to be pissed off that they didn’t remind him/check that he had his lunch bag before they left.

I’m about 50:50 on it - I should have probably put it in his bag but also he is only 5 and hasn’t been on a trip very often so I would have thought they might double check.

So who is BU?

YABU - I should have put the lunch bag in his main bag, or
YANBU - they should have double checked/reminded the younger children to make sure they had all their things

Am off to pick it up tomorrow a d interested in the general views before I think how to approach it

OP posts:
cansu · 19/08/2021 19:28

It was a mistake. My dd goes to holiday clubs and I always put her lunch in the main bag or attach it in some way. They made sure he ate so I would let it lie and just try to ensure it didn't happen again.

Welshiefluff · 19/08/2021 19:29

Just give him one bag next time. They sorted another lunch for him so what is the big deal?

Viviennemary · 19/08/2021 19:29

It would have been easier if everything was in one bag. I don't think you can blame the organisers.

BamberGascoine · 19/08/2021 19:29

I wouldn’t mention it. He was fed and no doubt isn’t as bothered as you. I work in a secondary school and the amount of kids that come up in year 7 with no resilience is astounding. When something doesn't quite go to plan it becomes a big drama because that’s what they've come to expect. It’s good for kids to see that when problems arise it can be fixed and its ok to eat a random lunch once in a while 🤷🏼‍♀️

pinkcircustop · 19/08/2021 19:31

YABU. They shouldn’t have to be checking for two bags.

WorraLiberty · 19/08/2021 19:31

I can't vote because I think it's just one of those things that happens very occasionally and the most important thing is, they realised the mistake and dealt with it 🤷‍♀️

I would however ask if there's anything that can be done from either side to lessen the chances of it happening again.

MrsFin · 19/08/2021 19:31

Just a mistake. An understandable one.
Let it lie.

IridescentPurple · 19/08/2021 19:33

I'd have put everything in one bag. Having two bags is begging for one to be forgotten.

Original poster
Raaraaboonah · 19/08/2021 19:34

In hindsight I should have shoved it in the rucksack but it was one of those insulated carry lunch bags they like and as most 5 year olds do, he was insistent that he wanted to carry it.

Good to know the broader view. I will be very thankful that they sorted him when I pick it up and will remember next time. Thanks!

OP posts:
pinkcircustop · 19/08/2021 19:36

he was insistent that he wanted to carry it.

You know you’re the parent right? Grin

He can be as insistent as he wants but if what he wants isn’t practical/feasible/safe/not what you want it really doesn’t matter. He doesn’t get the final say.

helpfulperson · 19/08/2021 19:38

He is much more likely to remember next time as well. I agree it's not a big deal and they sorted it.

zingally · 19/08/2021 19:40

He ate.

Not worth making a fuss over.

The staff will now know to check every child has what they need, and you know your kid can only manage one bag. Everyone's learnt something here.

Don't make a stink. Most of these summer camp places are run by enthusiastic kids in their teens and early 20s. Are you telling us YOU never made an innocent error/over-sight at that age?

chalamet · 19/08/2021 19:42

It’s a shame that happened but asking a group of 5 year olds to “make sure you have everything” is as useful as shouting into the void. It also would take such a long time to go into each child’s bag and check they had lunch. You didn’t do anything wrong but neither did they tbh.

helpfulperson · 19/08/2021 19:43

Did they notice he didn't have lunch or did he tell them? The other learning point for him is that is OK and essential to tell the grown-ups if there is a problem like this. I had a 13 year old in tears because we were on a big trip getting tea in macdonalds and due to a miscount he didn't have a burger. Instead of just saying to an adult 'I haven't been given mine' one of our staff noticed him sitting not eating and crying.

ParistoLondon · 19/08/2021 19:44

You shouldn't have put his lunch in a separate bag. Most parents don't or attach it to the kids' "main" bag. Idk why you're wanting to blame them. It was lovely of them to offer him their food though.

Zilla1 · 19/08/2021 19:46

FWIW, OP, well done for asking and for taking the feedback on board instead of doubling down like most OPs do.

Did your DS enjoy the activity?

itsgettingwierd · 19/08/2021 19:47

These things happen and are easily done.

If he had a backpack they would definitely thought his lunch was in it - so they maybe did check he had a bag and not it's contents.

But good advice above about attaching it if it's separate in future.

EmoIsntDead · 19/08/2021 19:47

YOU should’ve put his lunch in his backpack 🙄

AMCoffeePMWine · 19/08/2021 19:47

@Raaraaboonah

In hindsight I should have shoved it in the rucksack but it was one of those insulated carry lunch bags they like and as most 5 year olds do, he was insistent that he wanted to carry it.

Good to know the broader view. I will be very thankful that they sorted him when I pick it up and will remember next time. Thanks!

You sound really lovely OP. It’s not v.often that someone posts in AIBU and takes the posted views to heart.
54321nought · 19/08/2021 19:48

non issue. a tiny slip up, (mostly by you - who goes through children's bags to check their lunch is in it?)he got fed,

Original poster
Raaraaboonah · 19/08/2021 19:50

Yes I know I’m the parent but also it wasn’t a big deal in the 5m from the car to drop him off at the door. Obvs won’t do that again. Lesson learnt.

I’m not looking to blame them. Poor choice of word in my OP. I appreciated that I’m part to blame and wanted views. Now I’ve got them which has been really helpful. Thanks all

OP posts:
Whinge · 19/08/2021 19:50

I agree with the majority, the staff will have thought the lunch was in his backpack. They were trying to organise a group of excited children and it will have been easy to miss a seperate bag. No harm done, and you'll know next time to put it into his bag.

Also just a quick comment on this. I gather they cobbled together a lunch from other children for him I would be very surpised if they took food from other children, can you imagine the complaints from other parents. The staff almost certainly gave him their lunch.

Original poster
Raaraaboonah · 19/08/2021 19:52

He had a great time! Has returned filthy, tired and a bit grumpy so all signs of a well spent day Grin

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 19/08/2021 20:03

I think they should have checked.
On school trips with Primary age children I make them all show me their lunch boxes ( wave them in the air) before we leave as there's always someone who forgets. For the same reason, I always ask the school canteen to provide a few spares.
I don't think they can reasonably expect a 5 year old to remember to check.
However, they did make sure that he ate, so no harm done, and they will be aware that if he brought lunch with him from home, they should have made sure he had it with him on the trip, so probably no need for you to take it further.

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 19/08/2021 20:25

When my boys went on trips like this, they collected all the lunches from all the kids and kept them in a big box and handed them out at lunchtime, that way they knew everyone had food.
Expecting a 5 year old to keep track is just silly.

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