Always playing taxi in a relationship!

[Clioblossom123]

So me and partner both work but im on maternity leave.
He's self employed and always seems to find jobs in his old home town which is 30 mins away (he doesn't know the people)

Im always happy to do everything around the house (Even before mat leave) and im always going out my way for him (just the way i am, he doesnt have to lift a finger in the house, i also get up with baby all night even on weekends )

but since we had the baby im fed up of him assuming I'll take him to and from work when the baby hates the car and screams all the way there and back.(hes a few weeks old)

He's working in a area which is dangerous to get to atm, the junctions are blocked from parked cars and you cant see if cars are coming and I've made my point of how dangerous is it but it doesn't make a difference.

Even if it wasn't a bad place, i think he should start taking on jobs either closer or price them up so he can get there and back everyday.(Hes not interested in driving at all) I never get fuel money but his parents do when they take him now and again.

Im not that bothered about the fuel but my insurance is limited to so many miles a year and if this keeps up ill be over the limit, plus if anything goes wrong with my car due to so many miles its doing, i have to pay every penny....

I never say no to him but I feel like he gets miserable with me when i point out the journey has upsets the baby again in the back as hes crying or how its running up my miles but he still phones me next day to say he's ready to be picked up now..

i understand he needs to get there and back but why rely on me when i only rely on myself (we pay 50:50 bills to everything except the car as its mine)

My question is not to be bashed
but I'd like to hear from both sides (drivers- non drivers) your opinions please?

[quote Clioblossom123]@sadiecow his dad took him this morning but i said make your own way back. He said "i will but taxi cost so much money " and i said running a car does too think he gets the point ![/quote]
Well just stand firm. You've made your decision and that's it.

Baby doesn't like the car and even if they did, it's too much anyway.

[quote Clioblossom123]@swampytiggaa this is what i realised from replies. If we keep taking him back and forth, he doesnt care about driving because he's got the high life. Now im refusing it may give him a kick up the arse to get his driving! Thanks for your reply [/quote]

Good for you OP ... stand firm 🌸

OP you sound so lovely bless you.I found its one thing taking advantage of me fair enough I can deal with that but he gives not one chuff about upsetting that tiny baby of yours and that is just plain awful,I could not get over that lack of regard for the baby, He needs showing up and embarrassing to get his arse in gear.If he tries to blackmail you in future ring his parents and let them know what treatment you and the baby are getting from their darling tantrumming son I would. I wish you welll going forward but in this relationship he has a mother already and thats not you nor hould you be expected to be, He would be a fool to hurt you anymore and your baby but sadly I think he will and I take no pleasure in saying that. Time he realised what being a man,partner and father means just like we all had to learn how to be a woman.partner and mother.We all had to learn fast time he stepped up too.

Do you want to stay with him? Will he be getting up in the night and cooking the weekends dinners and washing up after? Will he be shopping for food, meal planning, checking what's in the cupboards, cleaning the kitchen floor, cleaning the bathroom, doing the laundry, checking when DS's appointments are, seeing if there's enough loo roll and if he should add some to the shopping lists etc? No?

@pinkyredrose he wouldn't have a clue where to start.... makes sence now. I feel stupid for not realising how stupid ive been. Things will change.
Thanks for your reply.

You've mentioned petrol money a few times - do you have separate finances?

Well done OP! You are doing great. Stay strong. A good partner and father wants to help his family not be a burden on them.

@Lannieduck yes! I'm a saver he isnt. I'd rather keep my money seprate. Hes on more than me but i save more. I wouldn't want to put finances together when our bills dont come up to much anyway (renting at a good price)

[quote Clioblossom123]@Lannieduck yes! I'm a saver he isnt. I'd rather keep my money seprate. Hes on more than me but i save more. I wouldn't want to put finances together when our bills dont come up to much anyway (renting at a good price)[/quote]
If your money is separate, does he cover all the bills? Or does he expect you to contribute while still doing all the childcare?

Sorry, I realise my prev post is a bit off topic. I was asking because I was trying to work out whether he was being especially unreasonable refusing to pass on the money clients give him to cover travel.

If you have separate finances, and he gets paid something explicitly to cover travel, then he should definitely be passing that onto you.

@lannieduck yes but he gives the fuel money to his mom. I haven't received any from him in months! We both pay half to bills but they come out of my account.

Why do you both pay half to the bills?

In a equal relationship, you should both pay 50% of bills and do 50% chores and childcare. At the moment you're doing his share of the chores and childcare (so 100%), so he should be covering your share of all bills (100%).