Are some people actually this oblivious?

[TinyTroubleMaker]

OK so I'm on a campsite run by a well known membership body. We've been on site a while and used other sites. People are usually pretty sedate. Here so far, it gets dark around 8-9, people are quiet and respectful of others, everything goes quiet, everyone goes to sleep. Anyone who is up is more or less silent. Might sound boring to some but it works, means everyone gets a good rest and it's pleasant.

Tonight, a group arrived I think then went out. At twenty to eleven, they've returned and 1. Driven their van with headlights shining into tents waking everyone up. I can hear my neighbours awake by this 2. Kept engine running for what seems like quite a while 3. Slammed all the doors on their vehicle repeatedly 4. Got children out and let them yell everything they have to say loudly, without quietening them because others are asleep 5. Parents (or I think 2 women with 4 or so kids) not at all keeping their voices down either in talking to the kids 6. Once inside their tent / caravan continuing to say everything at top of voices which on a campsite carries at night 7. Still outside 30 minutes on, keeping half the campsite awake. Compared to every other camper I've experienced on this trip and other trips this summer, they have really poor manners.

It should be obvious every tent around them is dark, people are sleeping, and this behaviour is therefore going to wake multiple people. Within a certain area, say 15 tents at least with average 3-4 people each. More tents beyond that probably.

So, either they know this and think they are more important than literally everyone around them (and genuinely believe it's necessary to carry on at they are without even attempting to lower voices) or they are so oblivious that they actually can't figure out how anti social they are being.

I am so grateful we've had such fantastic fellow campers for days and days now but so disappointing to have to deal with this near the end of our stay.

Not sure what the AIBU is exactly, other than - can people really be this oblivious to their effect on others?

Self-centered people are so into themselves, their needs and wishes that they indeed become oblivious to those of others. Only theirs matter.

It is so sad that we live in a society where reminding such people that they are not the centre of the world seems wrong. It only reinforces their belief that indeed, other people don't matter. Someone should have taken it upon themselves to get up, go to them, and remind her that her attitude is not what is acceptable there.

@ThinWomansBrain

better than turning headlights off and driving thru the tents?

Well quite 😂

Hopefully a one off. Maybe they had a long stressful journey, got lost trying to find the site, kids playing up etc.

Trying to put up a tent in the dark and keep over tired kids quiet is a nightmare. Perhaps they didn’t notice all the other tents nearby or how late it was or the lack of noise in general (it wasn’t 2am after all it was late evening). Some family campsites are noisy up until midnight and beyond. You’re going to have babies and toddlers waking up, kids needing a wee in the night, people stumbling around with torches trying to find the loo, or shouting at each other because a hedgehog woke them up or the kids are scared of a giant moth etc etc. Or a dog starts barking and sets off 20 others.

I’ve never thought of campsites as quiet places! Unless you wild camp and that has its own problems.

I’m picturing a morning posse of Camping and Caravan club regulars brandishing pitchforks and surrounding their pitch this morning? Please update @TinyTroubleMaker. (and hope you got some sleep)
The description of camping above (sorry I’ve lost the poster) and the ref to s doorway on Shaftesbury Ave needs to go into classics.

I think that the general rule of quiet after 11 is reasonable, that seems to be most common. I’m not sitting murmuring from 8pm and I’d be surprised if many others were in the middle of summer! I’m still cooking dinner at that time.
However, there are many first time campers (caravanners, motorhomers etc) this year and I have found that a lot of groups don’t understand how far noise travels/ that your outdoor cinema disturbs everyone as your awning isn’t soundproof/ that bubble mixture and tents don’t mix/ that people who’ve spent a lot of money on their set up don’t want kids kicking a football at it. I’m thrilled that they are having a holiday and supporting the businesses in the UK but a bit of self-awareness would be great.

@OwlinaTree

They are probably drunk, which always makes people loud.

I hope not they drove back there

Yanbu.

And I agree they are oblivious. It's very obvious when people are sleeping.

We camped every year at a busier and noisier type campsite with a club bar on site with entertainment until 11/12.

Not everyone wanted to join in. Therefore anyone who did would walk back quietly as not to disturb those who were sleeping. In turn those who were early risers kept quiet as not to disturb those who stayed up late.

I totally agree with letting your kids run around noisily early in the morning!

This is exactly why I don't go camping.

They either don’t care or are drunk.

Like a boyfriend years ago who was threatened with eviction from the site for singing ‘ Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting’ at the top of his voice , but it wasn’t fighting on his mind!

……Or in his version of the song

Do you have children op? If not, Caravan Club tend to have a lot more sites that advertise adults only or the fact that they're quiet sites. Maybe look for those instead. If the site's rule state silent after 10pm then have a word with them in the first instance. After that, if they continue, report to site security.

In bed/ quiet by 8/9 sounds a little boring personally and most of the campsites we go to tend to be a bit more lively so people are usually just finishing up their barbecues by 8pm. As a pp said, the thing we like about camping is the social aspect of sitting under the stars by a fire and having a chat and a laugh. This is what many of those around us also enjoy. It's usually quieter by 10, silent by 11 which the vast majority stick to.

@mrsnoodle55

Never forget going to a campsite in the Lakes, the tent next to us was fine in the eve but they and their kids got up at 5. That’s 5am.

Not little kids, not babies who we all know you can’t help getting up and being noisy. No, the whole family was up, kids playing out, kicking balls, making cooked breakfasts outside etc. At 5.30am. It was only just light.

The first day I let it go; the 2nd I confronted them, they were literally either oblivious, or didn’t give a rat’s ass. I suspect both. The site wardens got involved, it carried on. Then we left.

I want to put myself in their brain for a day and see what life is like, not giving a toss for a day how your actions affect anyone else. Scary really.

I was just going to make a similar point! When the DC were very young camping suited us quite well, children tucked up in bed whilst we watched the stars with a glass of wine. We got up early (with everyone else with young children) and out day started at 6am... As soon as they were teenagers they wanted music, late nights and to stay up chatting.

The early risers (other families with young children) cooking breakfast at 6.00am, the constant loud chattering from children and their parents in the morning, crying or noisy children waking at night can all be as annoying as late night conversations are.

Campsites have rules to keep everyone happy and you have to pick your site carefully.
Some have quiet times between 10pm and 7am, some 11pm and 8am.
These rules are broken at both ends by inconsiderate campers.

Any campsite I have ever been to (only a few as I hate camping and would refuse holidays when my mother wanted to go) never let vehicles any where near the tent areas. That was just a huge no because of the danger from someone pissed or not seeing a small ridge tent in the dark or someone running over tents fir the shits and giggles
Another reason to hate camping. I am not quiet after 8pm at home so why should I go somewhere that I have to be.

Also 10.40pm on holiday isn’t late

10.40pm isn’t that late anyway.

Queenoflouisiana good post and I agree with you. I love camping and have been to many many sites over the years…the common rule is quiet after 11.

Organise your fellow (quiet) campers for an early morning exercise session, a lot of shouted commands, ribaldry and loud laughter. If you are in Cornwall it's light by 5.45. If you can all get stuff out of multiple cars too, obviously not sure if things are in the front, back or hatch, also shouting instructions while slamming doors, it might give them some insight into how noise carries. If you got up a bit earlier than this, you could flash headlights and rev engines a bit. Be creative. Or just ask them to keep the noise down (boring!).

@pictish The OP since they were still swearing and shouting after 1am. That's not the OP being 'pernickety'.

The trouble is it only takes one family to wreck the experience for everyone else.

Our worst experience was the extended multi-generation family who pitched up next to us on a tiny, very quiet site in the Yorkshire Dales. Four tents and a dining shelter. It was clearly some sort of family reunion and they did not ever stop bellowing across the site at each other and did not leave the site for five days.

There was a massive stack of eggs in the dining shelter - six catering-size trays full. We watched it inch down one layer per day. And then just as we were breathing a sigh of relief, at 9pm on their final evening they started singing "happy birthday to you" and the birthday party went on till 1am.

I realise that is not particularly late for a party in a house. It is horribly late when you are sleep deprived and fed up. We could hear every sodding joke, argument, funny story and childish tantrum. We did tell them to shut up. It made no difference..

"Oblivious" is the word. As far as they were concerned, they were just chatting happily. As far as the rest of us were concerned, we were in the middle of a raucous, five day long family soap opera that never paused.

People expecting quiet from tents is impossible. I manage a campsite and I always remind people tents aren't soundproof, that usually serves as a keep it down warning.
Yes it annoying but anyone who complains to me, I judge it by the time they said it was loud, what I can actually see on the cctv, speak to a few others close by and usually have a quick call just asking whoever to be respectful of their neighbours. I then add notes to both booking profiles so if they book again I know what previous history we have had with them.

I've had one customer complain both times they were here about noise 'but I'm not moaning' ive put them in different pitches, I've spoken to their neighbours and others who are around to get the full picture and to me they are now serial complainers and I doubt I would have them back.

Yes they are rude.

However I wouldn’t drive through a campsite in the dark with my headlights off, you could hit somebody!

This is a big reason why I dont enjoy camping anymore, inconsiderate people who seem oblivious. They don't realise that tents aren't like house and if you talk loudly everyone nearby can hear, and even a normal voice can be heard when you're walking back from the loos at 12, lower your voice - it's only polite. Try to avoid slamming your car door several times at 6am in the morning - surely it can wait! Neither do we want to share in your taste music.

The trick there is to wake up at 7am and be as noisy as you like especially in front of where their tents are pitched. Wake them up. As it is day time, they can't complain.
Perhaps they will be equally tired around 8-9pm tonight and go to bed then??

We've just come back from a week camping at a lovely little farm in Devon. Camping next to a perfectly nice and normal seeming family of parents and their adult child. Perfectly nice and normal during the day.
Once night came it was like their psycho alter egos came out. Constant arguing and bickering. Some of the things that they screamed at each other were absolutely shocking and then the next morning they would be all smiles and chatting with the other campers while we were supposed to just pretend that we hadn't heard all of their grubby family secrets at 3am.

In the third night I lost it and shouted "Stop fucking bickering" but it made no difference at all.
Some people are just oblivious or don't care.

@CorianderBee

It's 10.40pm not 2am...

Plus, unfortunately unless there are campsite rules then you don't really get to tell them how to enjoy their holiday. This is the risk you take when you go camping

Yes, I agree. 10.40pm not late and they are not obliged to follow a weird monastic lifestyle.

After midnight and I would concur that this would be unreasonable

All the "people expecting a quiet campsite", a question: are you aware that this is indeed the rule (as has been repeatedly pointed out here) at many (most?) campsites?

OP hasn't said they expect silence from 8 - only that is when most people start winding down and being quiet. It is simple manners and consideration not to crash around and shout anywhere that is already quiet.

They're lucky they're not in Germany where the post 11pm quiet time is sacrosanct (quiet talking is fine, music and so is verboten) because I've seen people asked to pack up and leave at midnight for noise.

I’ve just remembered the campsite bore!

Usually a pumped up little man who has assigned himself unofficial rule gatekeeper! He can be seen patrolling in the evening and will have a ‘quiet word’ with other campers if they break rules regarding noise.

He loves nothing more than sharing his extensive camping experiences, stories and advice with anyone who will listen.

He can be heard coughing his guts up every morning at the crack of Dawn before noisily clanking away on his camping stove...
The King of the campsite!