Are some people actually this oblivious?

[TinyTroubleMaker]

OK so I'm on a campsite run by a well known membership body. We've been on site a while and used other sites. People are usually pretty sedate. Here so far, it gets dark around 8-9, people are quiet and respectful of others, everything goes quiet, everyone goes to sleep. Anyone who is up is more or less silent. Might sound boring to some but it works, means everyone gets a good rest and it's pleasant.

Tonight, a group arrived I think then went out. At twenty to eleven, they've returned and 1. Driven their van with headlights shining into tents waking everyone up. I can hear my neighbours awake by this 2. Kept engine running for what seems like quite a while 3. Slammed all the doors on their vehicle repeatedly 4. Got children out and let them yell everything they have to say loudly, without quietening them because others are asleep 5. Parents (or I think 2 women with 4 or so kids) not at all keeping their voices down either in talking to the kids 6. Once inside their tent / caravan continuing to say everything at top of voices which on a campsite carries at night 7. Still outside 30 minutes on, keeping half the campsite awake. Compared to every other camper I've experienced on this trip and other trips this summer, they have really poor manners.

It should be obvious every tent around them is dark, people are sleeping, and this behaviour is therefore going to wake multiple people. Within a certain area, say 15 tents at least with average 3-4 people each. More tents beyond that probably.

So, either they know this and think they are more important than literally everyone around them (and genuinely believe it's necessary to carry on at they are without even attempting to lower voices) or they are so oblivious that they actually can't figure out how anti social they are being.

I am so grateful we've had such fantastic fellow campers for days and days now but so disappointing to have to deal with this near the end of our stay.

Not sure what the AIBU is exactly, other than - can people really be this oblivious to their effect on others?

Reason 53 never to go camping: non-existent soundproofing means you can't sleep until the very last tent has gone to bed, and you'll wake up as soon as the first one does!

(In those brief hours in between your sleep will be disrupted by uncomfortable ground, mosquitos, excessive heat or cold, anyone else on the campsite waking up, anyone else of the campsite snoring, the sun coming up at some ungodly hour, lambs, dogs and fucking birds. And occasionally fucking. You'd get more sleep in doorway on Shaftesbury Avenue.)

In fact you'd get more sleep in the middle of the road on Shaftesbury Avenue. Rant over. I feel better. I don't like camping.

Shout through the tent or put your head out and tell them to shut up!

I’ve done this before on campsites - (otherwise, how will people learn?)

But yes also agree that expecting silence before 11pm is BU

Well you've put me off camping. Quiet at 8?! Most people wouldn't have finished dinner or started it at that time. Sounds like an awful holiday. Yes, people should be quiet after 11.

YANBU, and sadly this thoughtless behaviour seems more commonplace these days. Also, if the children are quite young, the fact their parents kept them out at the pub until closing time, speaks volumes to me. Often the kids in this scenario would be tired by 9pm but the parents keep them up late because they don't want to curtail their own fun by leaving before closing time. (I speak from experience, my alcoholic father never understood that witnessing him drinking heavily until last orders was not fun for me, aged 10.) They sound like selfish morons to me. I would complain to the site manager first thing in the morning, then ask to move to another pitch if things don't improve. Observing and listening to the family tomorrow will probably tell you whether they are likely to curb their thoughtless behaviour, or whether they are utter twunts. If the latter, and the site manager can't offer you another pitch (and is not willing to send the twunts packing), leave the site and ask for a refund.

Good luck OP. It's such a shame that a few ignorant people spoil things for everyone else.

@UrbanRambler a bit judgmental no?

Not disagreeing that being very loud at midnight is rude and thoughtless. But I’m not sure it “speaks volumes” that they were out until 10.40pm.

We’ve just returned from glamping and my DH, DC and I all went I bed together around 11pm. One night midnight. DC are 11 and 7 and usually in bed by 8pm at home. Not on holiday though. We did not disturb anyone so a bit different but a bit perturbed by your comment. We sat by a fire, toasted marshmallows, played cards and dominoes and then sat outside watching the meteor shower.

Sometimes when we went to bed other kids on the site were still up. Again, not disturbing other people as the site asked for quiet time from 11pm.

Muriel I love camping to bits also love your descriptions

Noone really advocates for the early nights it seems more like a natural winding down once the light fades. A common consensus you might say. Perhaps some people are having a glass of wine or whatever until later and I can't hear them, or a low murmur, that's probably more accurate. Personally I can get to sleep with that kind of background campsite noise as its soft not jarring.

It's quiet by now, I expect there will be something said to the on site team tomorrow. Better coming from them, not wishing to have any of the yelling / swearing directed at us. Noone else around us said anything as far as I heard, everyone probably thinking the same.

@MurielSpriggs

Reason 53 never to go camping: non-existent soundproofing means you can't sleep until the very last tent has gone to bed, and you'll wake up as soon as the first one does!

(In those brief hours in between your sleep will be disrupted by uncomfortable ground, mosquitos, excessive heat or cold, anyone else on the campsite waking up, anyone else of the campsite snoring, the sun coming up at some ungodly hour, lambs, dogs and fucking birds. And occasionally fucking. You'd get more sleep in doorway on Shaftesbury Avenue.)

@MurielSpriggs So true, you nailed it there!

Also, hygiene can be tricky, in more ways than one. Years ago (before I knew better) we stayed on a campsite. A drunken young man started chatting to me at the bar, and told me he couldn't remember much about the night before, but he'd woken up to find he'd pissed in his sleeping bag. He said it was no problem though, as he'd just put his sleeping bag in the tumble drier in the campsite laundry - unwashed! Revolting. Just think of all the people who used it after him, and ended up with their clothes smelling of his piss.

That said, camping is the only holiday some people can afford, and many kids seem to love it, so each to their own. Getting lots of fresh air and sleeping under the stars sounds great, but for me the downsides outweigh that.

If I've given the impression I expect everyone in bed by 8 I don't, that would be highly unreasonable and unrealistic. It's the toddlers that typically start to be put to bed around that time. Everyone else kinds of gradually winds down.

@QueenHofScotland Yes, you're right, that was a bit judgemental of me. My views are coloured by my own bitter experience, and from having witnessed small children in pubs getting tired and irritable as the night goes on, then hearing their parents tell them to shut up and behave - I always feel so sorry for kids whose parents have that attitude. Nothing wrong with kids being up late in school holidays, and the things you did with your kids on the campsite sound lovely - those activities were a nice quiet way to wind down, as a family. That's a world away from parents who drag their young kids to the pub for the whole night.

The rule is that you can be as loud as you like around their tent at 7am.That, or throw bread on top of their tent so the birds wake them all squawky and flappy, like that caravan lady did last week. Genius

I would think that if people could see that it might look and sound like a quieter camp site, they should not be so noisy,,oblivious is the right word, or they don't care. It's a shame, if you have picked a quiet spot, that you know is quite nice though.

People just don't care. Exactly the reason I wouldn't go camping. I need quiet to sleep and know I wouldn't likely get it!
We were on holiday once in a very small 3 room b and b and were chilling quietly by the small pool when a girl came down and put music on her phone. Why do people think everyone else wants to listen to their music? Use headphones! Rant over

Unzip tent.
Shout “shut the fuck up”
Zip tent back up.

They will feel more embarrassed than you.

@SamVimes6

And the nature of the 'campsite in the dark with multiple tents' is that they will have no idea who said it and the rest of the campsite also laying awake will quietly thank you for saying it.

8 pm is surely too early to ask for quiet when people are on holiday- holidays are about having fun with friends and family, letting kids stay up later than their usual bed time and being a bit more free. Not everyone wants to go bed early and get up at the crack of dawn! So what if you are kept awake until 10.30- it's hardly late- and you're not getting up for work the next day are you? Why do you get to choose the time others should be quiet?"

If you yelled from inside your tent they won't know it was you?

Camping and Caravan Club?

We stayed on one of their sites last year. It was calm and ordered... but we felt like naughty school children half the time if we brome one of many of the written and unwritten rules.

It was more relaxing than the time our camping neighbours had a karaoke machine... but we probably won't use one of their sites again.

The worst bit about camping is having no control over who else is camping there.

Yes to yelling expletives. It works, in my experience.

I’ve never been camping, but 8-9 sounds early to expect people to be in bed or keeping very quiet, on their holiday.

European campsites, IIRC, have a blanket "quiet after 11pm" rule. Maybe earlier in Germany / Switzerland.

If it’s a managed campsite there will likely be noise rules and regs. If they’re in breech of them report them to site management. Quiet campsites are good at instilling these rules as it’s quite often the reason people (like yourself and seemingly others camped) booked them. There are more noisy / lively sites they should be booking if they want to act like animals that.

It's still ongoing after nearly an hour and near midnight. Including yelling / swearing at the children.
This says it all, if they are acting like this at their kids chances are they don't care about any of you!!

Surely the quiet time rule is 11 - 7?

I’ve Never yet stayed on a “quiet after 8” campsite.

I think the van headlights and doors slamming is fair enough. I would let that go.

Everything that happened after that sounds very inconsiderate and would really piss me off.