to want to look older

[54321nought]

I am about to retire, and still getting mistaken for 30s/early 40s, and occasionally 20s.

This is not a good situation to be in, as people constantly misjudge me in all sorts of ways. I am nowhere near as strong as people expect me to be, and have far more professional experience.

I don't have any grey hair, and have never died my hair, but I am considering dying it grey before the new term

@Imapotato

When taking dd2 13 to A&E earlier in the year I was asked who I was by every single member of staff she was seen by, followed by an “ooo you are very young” when I told them I was her mum. On the 4th time being told that I did reply shortly, “actually I’m 36 and I work here!”!!

@Imnewhere1991

This seems a bit far fetched.

I thought that too. Although it's believable for a 36 y.o to be mistaken for mid 20s, claiming every single member of staff said she doesn't look old enough to be a mother of a 12 y.o, and claiming that they all said 'oooh but you look so YOUNG,' is over egging the pudding.

I think there are a few far fetched stories on here to be honest!

@mooda

My DH is like this. He's nearly 50 and clean shaven could pass for 30.

I doubt this very much.

As for Tina O'Brien, yeah she doesn't look 37 at all, but she doesn't look more that 7-8 years younger than her age.

This thread gave me a much needed laugh.
The idea of a woman in her 60s constantly being told that she is too old to have kids at secondary school... arf.

I believe you OP because this sounds like me although you're even ahead of me because I'm kid 30s and I've got a few greys now but face and body wise I always get told I'm in early 20s. People have mistaken my 6 year old DS to be my little brother. It only bothers me in the professional environment where I feel people don't take me as seriously as they should but for the most part I like it.

@pinkgin85

I believe you OP because this sounds like me although you're even ahead of me because I'm kid 30s and I've got a few greys now but face and body wise I always get told I'm in early 20s. People have mistaken my 6 year old DS to be my little brother. It only bothers me in the professional environment where I feel people don't take me as seriously as they should but for the most part I like it.

You believe a woman in her 60s is being mistaken for a woman in her 20s? Really?

[quote Maireas]@AngryWhompingWillow - very, very true.
You can look in the mirror and think you look ok, or not bad for your age, possibly a few years younger, but no-one nearing retirement could ever be mistaken for 20 something.
A few years younger, maybe. Not more than 10.
Even people that have had Botox/work done.
Except me. I'm 61 and often get mistaken for a yr7 at school. [/quote]
Oh, I'm not as uncommonly young looking as you - I get regularly get mistaken for a 14 year old.

A fat 14 year old. Right up til I turn around and they see a short, fat old bag instead.

I can think of a couple of celebrities who do look a lot younger than their years- Thomas Brodie-Sangster is early 30s but genuinely looks like a teenager. Selena Gomez is 30 next year but could pass for 20 easily.

@AngryWhompingWillow

I thought that too. Although it's believable for a 36 y.o to be mistaken for mid 20s, claiming every single member of staff said she doesn't look old enough to be a mother of a 12 y.o, and claiming that they all said 'oooh but you look so YOUNG,' is over egging the pudding.

Sorry you find this so unbelievable. I can tell you on a night when you’re in A&E with your young teen for a serious issue that you need to be taken seriously about, it can feel very undermining when people constantly point out how young you look.

Is it really so unbelievable that some people may look up to around 10 years younger than their age? Really?

“I’m so young-looking and thin…”

@Oogachuckachopsy

“I’m so young-looking and thin…”

Daft innit?

I think women in their 30 s can look much younger than they are, and also think that some Asian woman age extremely well. But I find it hard to believe anyone in their late 50s/early60s would be mistaken for being in their 20s. People at that age have a natural glow about their skin that sadly fades with ageing

@ScreamingMeMe

You believe a woman in her 60s is being mistaken for a woman in her 20s? Really?

Batshit ain't it? The things people expect you to believe on here just beggars belief!

Again, my niece has godchildren, one of whom was 12 and she took her out for the day. She was assumed to be her older sister.
Domt assume people are exaggerating on here. Some are but there are rare cases such as my relatives where they really do look that young and I have been there when it happens so not just taking her word for it.
Even at the beauty salon last week the lady said to her 'I was going to ask if you have kids but you are too young to have them.' She is 36.
To make people feel better she hates it and it causes her a lot of embarrassment.

Please look at some actual young women in their 20s and then tell me again that you look that young.

I mistook my granddaughters nursery teacher as 19 when she is 33. I was gobsmacked. When other parent's found out her real age they were also amazed. All thought the same as me.
So yes it is possible.

@54321nought

well, there are some suggestions here, it might be something to do with collegen, I don't know, and yes, I am stuck in "youthful" clothes with a "youthful" hair style, because I am dyspraxic and unable to change that.

However, there is a lot of downplaying here. I suppose people don't realise that this is a serious issue. Never mind that I just feel like a bit of a freak. I now look a generation younger than my younger sister, for a start.

And unless I keep telling people my age, they get entirely the wrong impression of me. I am a teacher, I work with many colleagues in their 20s and 30s, and if I don't tell people fairly early on in the working relationship how much older I am, then its a shock to them, like I am some sort of freak, or have deliberately defrauded them as a friend, or something.

Ans parents just assume I am too young to have secondary age children myself, even though my children are actually adult, and yes, this has an affect on our conversations, when I am talking about parenting.

I have lost a lot of weight recently, and assumed that would help, as I wouldn't have such a round chubby face, which I thought might make me look younger.

However, friends tell me its made the problem worse, and I am talking about close, life long , honest friends, the kind you can trust to tell you the truth.

Well, it is a big issue to me. I am not going to come back to this thread though, as most people here don't seem to realise I am serious, and asking for serious advice about a serious problem.

Thanks to those who did understand, and for the mention of collagen, it might be worth looking into whether I have some sort of collagen abnormality, if that is possible.

So all you need to do is get fat and dye your hair grey.

Problem solved.

I’m 50+ and was recently asked my age when buying wine in M&S. The cashier literally said, ‘How old are you?’ which was really rude, I thought! If that’s new policy, M&S, I’m unimpressed. Anyway, ‘Old enough,’ I replied (was shocked at the blunt question, didn’t mean to sound rude.) She allowed my purchase .

🦬💩

Jorgie Porter, Louisa Lytton and Jesy Nelson also look a lot younger than their ages. Would put them all at early/mid 20's when they are all in their 30's now.

Also, I wonder if actual young people think that people who are older than them look the same
age? Or is it older people thinking other older people look younger? I doubt many 20 somethings think someone in their 40s and beyond looks a similar age to them.

Wow, Bianca Lawson does look young, at 42. I was amazed that Angelica Bell was 45, too.
OP, if you are about to retire, surely you shouldn’t worry about it? It won’t be a problem outside your working life, will it? Does it raise any other issues, other than professionally?

@PRsecrets

People are deluded if they think they look like a teenager when they are in their mid 30s, or like they're in their 20s, when they are in their 40s.

I raise you Bianca Lawson.

I'll see your old promo shot of Bianca Lawson and raise you one of her in the last 12 months.

Still looks great, but not remotely like a child.

I meet a lot of people in circumstances in which I happen to know their date of birth.

I’ve never seen one person, not a soul, who looks even ten years younger than their actual age. Not once, in thousands of people.

Must just be coincidence that I’ve never met the MNers who all look ten years younger and have strangers routinely comment on it.

Was certainly very surprised by the story from ED. Given hospitals regularly deal with very young mums, it was certainly extremely unprofessional behaviour from every single member of staff to comment.

Is that you, Benjamin Button?