to want to look older

[54321nought]

I am about to retire, and still getting mistaken for 30s/early 40s, and occasionally 20s.

This is not a good situation to be in, as people constantly misjudge me in all sorts of ways. I am nowhere near as strong as people expect me to be, and have far more professional experience.

I don't have any grey hair, and have never died my hair, but I am considering dying it grey before the new term

My sister is autistic and probably hypermobile, she was IDed in Tesco at 50, she's definitely looks 25-30 and is 53. Kind of disablist this thread as many autistic people look way younger. Not all before anyone jumps on me

Hypermobility is a common co-morbidty of autism, all that excess collagen makes for youthful looking skin as I mentioned in my post earlier. Two of my DC are autistic, one is hypermobile and one isn't. My DC who is hypermobile is 12 and facially has that very smooth, very soft, pore-less baby skin. Definitely looks 12 years old but I think they'll be like me and my mum and will have good skin.

The ID thing doesn't mean the cashier in a place thinks you look under 18. It means they think you look under 25.

@Mooda

My DH is like this. He's nearly 50 and clean shaven could pass for 30. I sadly could not. Someone once asked if he was my son. They were off their tits at the time but still.

Ha ha my DH too. When he was about 30 someone knocked on the door and asked if his mum and dad were in 😂. It was someone doing a survey and when he told her he had an 11 year old she nearly fell off the step 😁. People always assume he’s younger than me but we’re the same age. It’s infuriating.

This seems a bit far fetched

@Imnewhere1991

Really? Which part? It’s entirely possible to look 10 years or so younger than your age. At 36 I think I look around 28/29, but other people seem to think I look younger than that. 🤷‍♀️

Never wear a hoodie. Always wear a silk scarf. Problem solved.

Sometimes it doesn't even mean they think you look under 25, cashiers will sometimes get told by management that they have to ID a certain amount of people particularly if they know mystery shoppers might be in the local area or if higher management are really pushing the "think 25" in response to an underage sale in any given branch. My brother works in a shop and every now and again gets given a quota of "ID ten people this shift", he entertains himself by choosing the most unlikely people.

Him and his work friends are probably responsible for quite a few "I'm 50 and just got I'D!" threads

I sometimes get offered a high chair in cafes even though I'm in my fifties ...

🤣🤣

well, there are some suggestions here, it might be something to do with collegen, I don't know, and yes, I am stuck in "youthful" clothes with a "youthful" hair style, because I am dyspraxic and unable to change that.

However, there is a lot of downplaying here. I suppose people don't realise that this is a serious issue. Never mind that I just feel like a bit of a freak. I now look a generation younger than my younger sister, for a start.

And unless I keep telling people my age, they get entirely the wrong impression of me. I am a teacher, I work with many colleagues in their 20s and 30s, and if I don't tell people fairly early on in the working relationship how much older I am, then its a shock to them, like I am some sort of freak, or have deliberately defrauded them as a friend, or something.

Ans parents just assume I am too young to have secondary age children myself, even though my children are actually adult, and yes, this has an affect on our conversations, when I am talking about parenting.

I have lost a lot of weight recently, and assumed that would help, as I wouldn't have such a round chubby face, which I thought might make me look younger.

However, friends tell me its made the problem worse, and I am talking about close, life long , honest friends, the kind you can trust to tell you the truth.

Well, it is a big issue to me. I am not going to come back to this thread though, as most people here don't seem to realise I am serious, and asking for serious advice about a serious problem.

Thanks to those who did understand, and for the mention of collagen, it might be worth looking into whether I have some sort of collagen abnormality, if that is possible.

54321nought

Just post a pic then we may be able to help.

Never wear a hoodie. Always wear a silk scarf. Problem solved.

Over the face? 🤔

I feel your pain, @JesusInTheCabbageVan.
My recommendation would be to lie on the sofa eating crisps, it's certainly worked for me.

@darktriad

My sister is autistic and probably hypermobile, she was IDed in Tesco at 50, she's definitely looks 25-30 and is 53. Kind of disablist this thread as many autistic people look way younger. Not all before anyone jumps on me

Bit of a stretch there, there may well be some autistic people who look younger as there are in general society, its not part of the spectrum though 🙄 My child was diagnosed with autism at three and a half

I am in my fifties, wear youthful clothes and still have thick glossy (dyed) hair. I am thin but was always slightly pear shaped so still have a small waist. I have been mistaken for being much younger - but only from a long distance away and by middle aged folk wearing glasses. Close up my skin is duller than it used to be , I have wrinkles and my neck is a bit scraggy. Dont know any other 50 year olds who don’t look like that , even if they are still attractive.

Another stealth boast

@Awwlookatmybabyspider

Another stealth boast

Indeed🙄

The youngest looking person I’ve even known is my old boss. She must be early 70s now, but doesn’t look much past 50.

I thought she was pretty remarkable, but the OP sounds like a medical miracle.

Must be bloody exhausting having to constantly tell people your age.

How can you look a generation younger than your younger sister?
How can people think you're not old enough to have secondary children, when yours are adults?
You say it's causing problems at work, but in a school, I can't think why. Your colleagues aren't impacted by your age or appearance.

People don't take women aged 30s/40s seriously?

If you want to be told you look your age or 20 years older, post a selfie on here. 😂

Pleeeeaaase can we have a photo?

@TheVolturi

Pleeeeaaase can we have a photo?

She said she's not coming back 😔

[quote AngryWhompingWillow]@Booboosweet

Everyone thinks they look young for their age. It's just vanity.

This. ^

If anyone is IDd for booze past their early 30s, the person serving them either has awful eyesight, OR they are terrible at telling peoples age. NO-ONE in their mid 30s looks under 18. NO-ONE.

In fact, nobody looks more than 7 to 8 years younger than their age. Maybe at first glance a FEW people look 12-15 years younger. But not when you look properly. When you look close up, the vast majority of people look their age within 7-8 years... in either direction.

@Clocktopus saying she can look 5 to 10 years younger depending on how well she does her make up is believable, but the 'I get mistaken for a generation younger' bollux some people spout on here is laughable!

People are deluded if they think they look like a teenager when they are in their mid 30s, or like they're in their 20s, when they are in their 40s.

Sorry to disappoint you, but virtually everyone looks their age. (As I say, within 7 or 8 years - in either direction.)

Funny how some people (on here) claim they look waaaaay younger than their age, but no-one ever claims people mistake them for looking much older. [/quote]
It may seem inconceivable to you that anyone could look more than 7 years younger than their age but you’re so wrong. I would bet that you don’t know many people of colour whose melanin often betrays our true age. Though no one here is likely to believe me, up until earlier this year i was asked for ID the majority of the time I bought alcohol. Most white people are shocked when I tell them I have a 21 year old because they assume I’m in my early 30s. Black people I tell don’t bat an eyelid. Our age standards are different. I’m 53 and have no reason to lie.

@TheVolturi

Pleeeeaaase can we have a photo?

We won't be getting one. Can't imagine why.

@ZaraCarmichaelshighheels

Yes Angry absolute correct, even Hollywood stars and celebrities with all their access to the best treatments etc. never look more than 10 years younger at best, for example Jennifer Anniston is 52 but could pass for 42, she could not pass for 32 and certainly not 22. If the stars can’t look decades younger no mere mortal can.

Agree with this ^

@Maireas

AngryWhompingWillow - very, very true. You can look in the mirror and think you look ok, or not bad for your age, possibly a few years younger, but no-one nearing retirement could ever be mistaken for 20 something. A few years younger, maybe. Not more than 10.

Agree with this too. ^

@LemonJuiceFromConcentrate

It can’t be that awkward, surely, given how highly valued youth generally is in our society?

If someone genuinely makes an error in thinking you’re younger, it’s not like they’ve really insulted you and should be horrified.

It does seem a bit “women dislike me because I’m beautiful” or “people are always telling me I am too slender, it’s very insulting”

Exactly! It's ridiculous and laughable! All these claims that people make, that people have said certain things to them. Like 'ooooh, people think I look much younger than I am. I am soooooooo insulted!' And 'people keep saying I am too slim; AIBU to be offended?' And (as you said) 'people are jealous of me because I am sooooo beautiful.'

Hilarious, and annoying at the same time. These posters are deluded.

Even if anything like this WAS said to you, why the fuck would you post a thread about it?!