to want to look older

[54321nought]

I am about to retire, and still getting mistaken for 30s/early 40s, and occasionally 20s.

This is not a good situation to be in, as people constantly misjudge me in all sorts of ways. I am nowhere near as strong as people expect me to be, and have far more professional experience.

I don't have any grey hair, and have never died my hair, but I am considering dying it grey before the new term

I worked in a shop selling alcohol as a teenager, when you’re young it is sometimes hard to put an age on people. It is even harder when a person is overweight.

It can’t be that awkward, surely, given how highly valued youth generally is in our society?

If someone genuinely makes an error in thinking you’re younger, it’s not like they’ve really insulted you and should be horrified.

It does seem a bit “women dislike me because I’m beautiful” or “people are always telling me I am too slender, it’s very insulting”

My DH is like this. He's nearly 50 and clean shaven could pass for 30. I sadly could not. Someone once asked if he was my son. They were off their tits at the time but still.

Yes Maireas I’m the same think I look mid forties on a good day rather than early fifties, but the give away signs are there. Agree Tina O’Brian does look younger but not teenage anymore, and yes how you style yourself makes a massive difference on the initial impression of youth but on close inspection the 10 year rule always applies. Many women wear the ageless uniform of hoodies, jeans and trainers and hair in a scraped back ponytail , a quick glance at someone dressed like this particularly if slim, equates youth, there is not much difference in what the generations wear anymore hence the confusion, until you take a slightly longer look.

I think that's true, Zara, plus people look after themselves more, and for longer, and athleisure clothing helps. When my mum was my age she had a perm and wore a headscarf, crimplene slacks and a beige anorak. The image was older, whereas I'm in jeans, hoodies, trainers etc and have styled hair. I try to look good for my age, but I try not to be delusional.

Need to develop a resting bitch face. Puts at least 10 years on.

I absolutely believe the stories about people getting ID'd or mistaken for students but seriously, no person on earth is getting mistaken for someone in their 20s when they're close to retiring. I wonder if the OP has a daughter in her 40s who gets mistaken for her mum?!

How would you judge a person differently from you, @54321nought, if they were in their 30s? Less respect for their authority? Not think they could be very accomplished at something? It's quite judgmental, what you're saying. That people think someone in their 30s would automatically be 'strong' because of their age (if you're talking about physique, I think most people would be looking at... well, physique, not trying to work out what year you were born), or that someone in their 30s wouldn't be as good at their job as you, with your superior expertise..? Isn't it a bit ageist? I mean, if you're the CEO, isn't the fact that you're sitting in an office with 'CEO' on the door enough for people? Are they walking in and saying 'You can't be the CEO! Make me some coffee and go and get the CEO for me!'?

[quote AngryWhompingWillow]@Booboosweet

Everyone thinks they look young for their age. It's just vanity.

This. ^

If anyone is IDd for booze past their early 30s, the person serving them either has awful eyesight, OR they are terrible at telling peoples age. NO-ONE in their mid 30s looks under 18. NO-ONE.

In fact, nobody looks more than 7 to 8 years younger than their age. Maybe at first glance a FEW people look 12-15 years younger. But not when you look properly. When you look close up, the vast majority of people look their age within 7-8 years... in either direction.

@Clocktopus saying she can look 5 to 10 years younger depending on how well she does her make up is believable, but the 'I get mistaken for a generation younger' bollux some people spout on here is laughable!

People are deluded if they think they look like a teenager when they are in their mid 30s, or like they're in their 20s, when they are in their 40s.

Sorry to disappoint you, but virtually everyone looks their age. (As I say, within 7 or 8 years - in either direction.)

Funny how some people (on here) claim they look waaaaay younger than their age, but no-one ever claims people mistake them for looking much older. [/quote]
It's Think 25, though, isn't it. So getting IDed in mid 30s isn't about looking under 18 - it's more like "you might be just under 25".

I do get IDed sometimes and I'm mid 30s (when I'm wearing makeup to cover my dark circles!). I also blame height. I don't know why people assume height is related to age. It stops being relevant past the age of 12... yet lots of people assume I'm still in education because I'm 5 foot. It's stupid!

Every single time I am asked how old I think someone is, I automatically subtract 15 years.

I don't think I'm alone.
So yeah love, you look 35 grin] grin] but secretly I think (along with everyone else) you look 50, if not older.

I think everyone does that Emmaline - see upthread my comment when it nearly didn't work

I was asked one day in Aldi, when buying wine. I took it as the joke that it was meant to be, tbh.

Nobody has ever asked me to guess their age, but I'm reasonably good at guessing an age, if I need to. Someone in their forties or fifties does not pass for being in their twenties. They just don't.

@FunnyWonder

I sometimes get offered a high chair in cafes even though I'm in my fifties ...

If you wear loads of make up that will make you look older.

I must be very stupid as I only realised this recently! I started wearing make up as a teenager and it made me look older, so I continued wearing it all my life until the lockdown. I stopped wearing it for months. Now when I put it on I look so old!

@Maireas

Being IDd doesn't mean people think you look young, it means they have to cover themselves and check.

Yes, whenever that's happened to me, I've just assumed the person is a bit of a jobsworth.

My sister is autistic and probably hypermobile, she was IDed in Tesco at 50, she's definitely looks 25-30 and is 53. Kind of disablist this thread as many autistic people look way younger. Not all before anyone jumps on me

I always get people laughing at me because my stomach is too toned and my bosom is too pert. Pls advise.

Heavy make-up is aging, also black mascara/black eyeliner. I find too that if I try to do 'young uns' make-up like flicked out eyeliner and bold eyeshadow then I look every single second of my 40 years plus a few more for good measure.

You're retirement age (60?!) & being mistaken for someone in their 20s...

Erm 😳

I’m 36 and have been ID’d for alcohol about 6 or 7 times so far this year. Once when I didn’t have ID, but luckily I’d worked with the woman 18 years ago when I was actually 18 abs after telling her my name she served me as she could remember me.

Id say I look younger than my age, but I don’t think younger than mid 20s. Looking young is good in a way, but can be annoying when people treat you younger at work/ medical appointments etc. When taking dd2 13 to A&E earlier in the year I was asked who I was by every single member of staff she was seen by, followed by an “ooo you are very young” when I told them I was her mum. On the 4th time being told that I did reply shortly, “actually I’m 36 and I work here!”!!

Another down side is that DH is 6 years older than me and hasn’t aged so well. He now looks a lot older than me and at times I’m sure people think I’m his daughter!! Which is obvs not great!

My whole family actually look young for their age. You could mistake my DM who is 65 for maybe 55, but not for someone in their 30s abs def not their 20s. That’s a bit far fetched.

@FunnyWonder

I sometimes get offered a high chair in cafes even though I'm in my fifties ...

Oh my 😂😂😂

@DrSbaitso

and occasionally 20s

They probably can't see you very well when you've jumped that high over the shark.

🤣

@Imapotato

I’m 36 and have been ID’d for alcohol about 6 or 7 times so far this year. Once when I didn’t have ID, but luckily I’d worked with the woman 18 years ago when I was actually 18 abs after telling her my name she served me as she could remember me.

Id say I look younger than my age, but I don’t think younger than mid 20s. Looking young is good in a way, but can be annoying when people treat you younger at work/ medical appointments etc. When taking dd2 13 to A&E earlier in the year I was asked who I was by every single member of staff she was seen by, followed by an “ooo you are very young” when I told them I was her mum. On the 4th time being told that I did reply shortly, “actually I’m 36 and I work here!”!!

Another down side is that DH is 6 years older than me and hasn’t aged so well. He now looks a lot older than me and at times I’m sure people think I’m his daughter!! Which is obvs not great!

My whole family actually look young for their age. You could mistake my DM who is 65 for maybe 55, but not for someone in their 30s abs def not their 20s. That’s a bit far fetched.

This seems a bit far fetched

How old are you? I effectively retired at 33, I looked 33 and now I look 50.