To desperatly want to own house

[Daisydolly1986]

AIBU to so desperately want home ownership?

We are renting right now, we will only be able to afford shared ownership in the area we live in as it is so expensive and I am a SAHM.

DH wants to stay renting idefinitely, he 'can't be bothered' with the aggro of applying for a mortgage. We someimes are unable to afford the rent, which I have to stump up the additional costs for from savings. Shared ownership will be £600 less per month all in.

AIBU to want to have a stake in a house, even if it is a smaller property than where we rent now? Or is DH being unreasonable for having no drive / desire to improve future prospects, happily chipping away at savings without a care in the world?

Do you have a deposit?

I get that you want to own. I'd love to too. But just not in the position at the moment. I mean if you're struggling for rent now you have to remember when it comes to your own home if boiler etc goes then you have to have money for it. I know you have insurances etc but whilst your struggling to rent I really wouldn't try and get on the property ladder at the moment.

I think if you want to buy a home you will need to go back to work.

Are your savings enough for a deposit?

Why do you sometimes not have enough money for rent? Is your husband over spending or does he have additional debt?

YANBU to want to own your own house -- but have you looked into the actual cost breakdown of shared ownership? From what I saw when I was looking a couple years ago, it was more expensive than just renting OR a mortgage by yourself, and then when you only owned 50%, the other party could keep refusing to sell the remaining share so you're forever paying them rent on their share.

It seemed like another trap to keep poor people poor.

Can you work? That would improve your chances of a mortgage and increase a deposit. It is not only the mortgagee repayment vs rent though, but the responsibility for ongoing repairs, buildings insurance, fixtures and fittings etc.

Ah! Missed the bit about being a SAHM. Definitely go back to work if you want a mortgage.

I would feel like you, and do anything to own my own home (with a mortgage, obviously).

I wonder if your DH considered that if he continues with his line of thought throughout his life, (ie so he is still renting when he's old and a pensioner), that he would still have to pay rent out of his old age pension. Whereas if he had bought a house now he would own it outright so no monthly mortgage or rent to pay = more money in hand.

Perhaps point that out to him when the subject comes up? Might be a persuasive argument.

YANBU at all for wanting to get on the ladder. Especially when your sums show that it’s cheaper.

Not wanting to deal with the admin seems like quite a strange reason to avoid applying for a mortgage. Yes it’s a bit of a pain getting everything together but not horrific. Is there possibly anything else going on? Or is he just not bothered about home ownership generally?

Shared ownership is often more expensive.

We're lucky enough to live in social housing as we aren't in the position to save a deposit and probably won't ever own a place. Our rent is more than a mortgage would be on a similar property but repairs and maintenance are included in that so there are some upsides I suppose!

Bit harsh to say your DH has no drive/desire to improve future prospects when you’re not working. I wouldn’t want to buy shared ownership either. If you want to own you’ll likely need 2 incomes.

You both need to be working if you want to get a decent mortgage offer.

How is DH planning to pay rent when he retires? Does he have a very good pension?
Does he realise that the longer you leave it, the harder it is to get on the ladder as property prices rise ?

Obviously not everyone is able to be come a home owner but not being arsed to do a mortgage application is a pretty weird excuse tbh.

I dont think it's a lack of drive to improve prospects.. that's pretty harsh. Home ownership is more than just securing the mortgage, there are loads of additional costs and stresses as you are responsible for any issues with the house/repairs, never mind legal fees etc. And if you struggled struggled keep up mortgage payments, which is a definite risk based on only one salary...It sounds like you'd be stretching yourselves right now with only one of you working and you are "chopping away at your savings"
Also you do realise that mortgage payments include interest right, so it's not like every bit of money you spend each month is directly translated to equity? I think its unfair to suggest that the money you spend on rent is a waste. It's putting a roof over your head and that is not to be sneered at just because you don't "own" it.
Also I am very sceptical at your claim that SO would be cheaper than renting...that is often not the case, are you sure you have calculated correctly?
Also some SO can be very difficult to sell on so rather than "getting you on the ladder" it can often just trap you in a house that is too small for a growing family and that has spiralling service charge costs...
Overall from the limited jnfo given, it sounds like you are being very harsh on your husband

@lilcolibri

YANBU to want to own your own house -- but have you looked into the actual cost breakdown of shared ownership? From what I saw when I was looking a couple years ago, it was more expensive than just renting OR a mortgage by yourself, and then when you only owned 50%, the other party could keep refusing to sell the remaining share so you're forever paying them rent on their share.

It seemed like another trap to keep poor people poor.

On every thread about shared ownership, there is always someone talking nonsense who has no experience themselves of shared ownership.

No, shared ownership is not a trap to keep poor people poor.

Shared ownership worked really well for me, gave me a step up onto the property ladder. It gave me the stability that private renting often doesn't give you. It gave me the opportunity to build equity. After 10 years, we were able to move to a house without shared ownership (but we did have to move to a cheaper area to achieve this). We never would have been able to afford our house without building up the equity first.

Costs will vary massively, depending on your own financial situation (as this will affect the mortgage interest rate you'll get, which massively affects the costs), how much the rent is, and how much the service charge is.

Speak to a mortgage broker to find out how much you can borrow.

That being said, I'd never had been able to get a mortgage if we only had one income. But it will depend on housing costs in your area.

I do sympathise a bit with your DH if he is the sole earner - the pressure to pay the mortgage will be entirely on him, I can see why he'd be a bit uneasy with the stress. I wouldn't want to be solely responsible for paying my family's mortgage either. It seems a bit unfair for you to label him as having no drive.

Could you offer to work so that you cover, say, half the mortgage and he covers everything else (ie mortgage + bills + expenses), so it's not just on him?

I voted yabu because although I think home ownership is good to aspire to (cheaper, more stability etc), your DH is right that maintaining a property can be a lot of work and expense. Since you say you are a SAHM then you may not earn enough as a household for a mortgage anyway and I agree it’s a bit harsh to say he’s got no interest in future prospects if you’re not working yourself. Applying for a mortgage is not aggro though so that’s ridiculous.

@Booboosweet

You both need to be working if you want to get a decent mortgage offer.

I agree with this. It’s very rare nowadays (especially in an expensive area) for one salary to be enough to own a home. I think you need to be looking at earning too then your DH might be more receptive to the idea.

Agree you need to work if you want to own your own home. Geta weekend/evening job to work around childcare if that's an issue. YABU.

I would say getting a mortgage is going to be extremely difficult these days on one income.

DH and are in the process now, it’s stressful and there are a lot of costs to take into account. We have had to start with a flat in a cheap area (we’re 35 and about to have a baby) so to get onto the ladder in the first place meant comprising on space and moving to a less desirable area, but we feel as if we don’t do now it’ll slip further she further from our grasp. We didn’t go down the shared ownership route, we’ve saved a 10% over six years.

When I say cheap area, it’s not cheap by any means, but it’s relative. Croydon- not necessarily what we’d have chosen but we will make the best of it to get a foot on the ladder.

Sorry but it's you DH's decision if you are a SAHM as he will bare the pressure of paying for it.

If you work and can contribute to the payment of it, as in be a back up if he looses his job so the mortgage still gets paid then you would have more chance of achieving your dream

I have the deposit and it is my savings we are using to tide us over every month when we go through DH's paycheck.

I wouldn’t want to be renting in retirement. Get a mortgage now and you’ll own your home before you retire. However, you’ll probably need a job. Not really fair to leave it all to your DH.