A long story short…I lost my dad at xmas, on my dd birthday( the apple of his eye and he was her hero), their cat also died that day, I suspect terrified of living with my mother , it’s been hard.
She’s been a truly awful mother. No love, just critical, cold and lots of smacks. We all left home ASAP. My dad was just the opposite but sadly wasn’t always there, not clever enough to argue his case or strong enough to leave, despite coming close several times.
She nagged him incessantly and I believe his last few years broke his spirit, it was clearly co dependent, he wasn’t without faults but she clearly has mental health issues which is why I’ve tried to be supportive.
Since he’s gone, I’ve visited twice a week ( it’s a 3 hour round trip) taking it down to one for past 3 months as tbh I can’t afford it , got her a nice little car ( she paid) but had to clean out dads car , trade it in, bury cat, listen to crap about her lost love, despite her being vile to him.
Suggested and researched support groups, got her a counselling ( won’t go) as she’s had several episodes saying she’s struggling , took her on holiday, spoke with drs etc etc but won’t do anything to change or try to get better, I’ve told her I’m not a professional and will support her when she gets help.
She has now despite it being my Dh last day at home for 6 weeks gone on Fb to say how much she misses my dad etc, how lonely she is( she won’t visit or call any of us)alone all weekend , saw no one all weekend.
I can’t win. This is not an accidental comment, she’s extremely clever but ffs I look like a piece of sh&t.
I could go on about bad she us but I’m trying to balance it with not looking a complete bitch.
I’m furious and need to say something and I don’t mean privately.