To feel disgusted at baby’s uncle?

[Sheerdetermination]

My (drunk) bil burst into the bedroom last night, switching the light on, in order to shout at my dp (his brother) about some keys he couldn’t find. He needed the keys to go to his bedroom in another part of the apartment building.
We are staying at his dad’s apartment.
My baby (who sleeps with us) was woken up and was then awake for 1.5 hours, and today we’re both exhausted.
DP was tipsy and no help at the time.
This morning, I thought by bil would be embarrassed and apologetic. He was neither. Just have a half-hearted apology. Sleep-deprived, upset and angry, I lost my rag and called him a loser. All feels very horrible. But what uncle behaves like that? And how wrong of them both to be drunk- who would have looked after baby if I became ill or something?
AIBU?

Leave the baby with its dad and go out for a quiet walk and coffee alone, he gets to parent today

You've told him off, rightly, now I'd just move on.
Just wanna check though, you've said your baby sleeps with you, and said your partner was drunk, if you mean your baby sleeps in bed with you then you really can't let DP share a bed with baby if he's had anything to drink, it's really dangerous. Just want to double check in case that's what's happened and you didn't know or anything.

But obviously you're not unreasonable to be pissed off that your BIL stormed I your bedroom in the night and woke you all up.

And how wrong of them both to be drunk- who would have looked after baby if I became ill or something?

I don’t really get this. Are neither of you ever allowed to get drunk again?

Whys your baby sleeping with a drunk?! YABU

I think you just need to move on tbh.

And why on earth should you brother in law say sober in case you became ill? You sound very precious.

Oh yes, I should have made clear dp was on a camp bed, at the foot of the double bed baby and I were in.

It’s dp I’m annoyed with on that point - there was no one sober in the flat apart from me.

It wasn't particularly pleasant for everyone involved but unless your Bil is often a twat can't you just write this one off and move on?

Annoying yes, he’s apologised so move on. I know what tiredness is like and it makes things seem worse than they are.

Confused though, are you and your partner never going to drink again when your both with the baby in case one of you falls ill ?

Why does it need both of you to be sober to parent a baby?

It’s a one off incident, he’s apologised. I’d move on.

BIL was unreasonable to not apologise and hopefully as the cold light of day Dawn's on him he'll realise this

I'm not sure really how your DP is to blame though? He's surely allowed a drink with his brother (unless it's excessive in its frequency?)

When it's the two of you at home do neither of you drink 'just in case'?. Do you eat separate meals 'just in case' of food poisoning? Drive separate cars 'just in case'? Unless there's a back story I'm not sure why this would upset you?

Oops - I’m above post I meant to say I don’t expect bil to be sober (just not an absolute unapologetic idiot); but I’m annoyed with dp for failing to protect us from all this due to how own drunkenness. Ugh.

id be pissed off too . I wouldnt stay there again

Yes it’s very rude, but I’m not sure why it’s ruder because he’s an uncle.. I would be annoyed if it was just me and DH and BIL burst into our bedroom.

Also why can they both not be drunk at the same time? As long as there is one sober parent.
I could understand you not wanting DH to be drunk if he is sleeping with you and the baby, but I’m not sure why BIL can’t be drunk?

He's inconsiderate and not really that bothered, probably doesn't 'get what the fuss is about'.
Really annoying but not worth pursuing further other than to make it clear to your dp and him it shouldn't happen again.

Protect you seems dramatic. Yes its annoying, yes you should leave baby with DP whilst you relax today but probably no need for so much drama.

I think you're probably over tired and have some misdirect anger? Even sober, I'm not sure how your DP could have 'protected you' from his brother bursting in and turning off the light. He's not a mind reader that this was going to happen?

Maybe leave the baby with DP and go out for some fresh air and a coffee on your own to relax

So one parent can't drink just in case the other one gets ill?

I feel this is quite an over reaction.

You are mad at him for being drunk and your dp for being tipsy. Because you could have randomly become ill and unable to look after the baby?

So when you are dp are at home, you live your life round 'what happens if the other one becomes sick and can't loon after the baby?'

Do neither of you work? What happens if one is at work and the other becomes too sick to look after the baby, very suddenly?

Bil was drunk, did something stupid and apologised. You told him it wasn't OK. Though I think calling him a lower, wasn't really needed.

Its done. I also think the title is designed to try and justify your over reaction. He is you bil. Who says 'this is my baby's uncle', surly you would say 'this is dps brother' or 'my bil'

But positioning him in relation to your child, I feel, was designed to make him seem more irresponsible or selfish.

Being disgusted seems a bit strong.

but I’m annoyed with dp for failing to protect us from all this due to how own drunkenness. Ugh.

Protect you? He wasn't going to attack you. He was a dick. But he wasn't dangerous.

How could your do have prevented this?

Of course one parent can drink! What happens when there is only parent in the house?

'Failing to protect you'

Annoying yes. I get that. But how melodramatic.

You weren't in any dange by the sounds of it.

And what a strange title for the thread. 'Baby's uncle'. Why not jut BIL or husbands brother?

Drama llama.

You’re on holiday. BIL has apologised.

Move on.