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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel disgusted at baby’s uncle?

104 replies

Sheerdetermination · 15/08/2021 10:15

My (drunk) bil burst into the bedroom last night, switching the light on, in order to shout at my dp (his brother) about some keys he couldn’t find. He needed the keys to go to his bedroom in another part of the apartment building.
We are staying at his dad’s apartment.
My baby (who sleeps with us) was woken up and was then awake for 1.5 hours, and today we’re both exhausted.
DP was tipsy and no help at the time.
This morning, I thought by bil would be embarrassed and apologetic. He was neither. Just have a half-hearted apology. Sleep-deprived, upset and angry, I lost my rag and called him a loser. All feels very horrible. But what uncle behaves like that? And how wrong of them both to be drunk- who would have looked after baby if I became ill or something?
AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Sheerdetermination · 15/08/2021 11:33

@BrozTito what do you mean?

OP posts:
Seesawmummadaw · 15/08/2021 11:34

I guess you had to be there because from what you have written it doesn’t sound too awful.

Get dp to take the baby out so you can sleep

MrsJBaptiste · 15/08/2021 11:35

I’m annoyed with dp for failing to protect us 😂😂😂

Honestly, you're on holiday. Just forget it and live a little 🥂

Thighdentitycrisis · 15/08/2021 11:35

What about a single parent with baby - following your reasoning baby would never be safe with them, in case lone parent became ill?!

melj1213 · 15/08/2021 11:37

You're being over dramatic.

Your BIL PFBs uncle got drunk, had a late night argument and woke the baby.

Annoying and infuriating? Yes

Dangerous behaviour that you need your DH to "protect you from"? Hardly.

Astella22 · 15/08/2021 11:45

You sound like hard work

Aprilx · 15/08/2021 11:47

@Sheerdetermination

It’s dp I’m annoyed with on that point - there was no one sober in the flat apart from me.
It doesn’t require two sober adults to look after a baby. Some people look after a baby on their own all the time.
ISpyCobraKai · 15/08/2021 11:47

I raised Dd completely alone from her being six weeks old, and she's turning 20 this month.
I didn't need to be protected or for everyone to be sober at all times.

Honestly get a grip.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 15/08/2021 11:50

🤣 oh op.

He was a bit inconsiderate whilst drunk. Annoying? Yes. It's not the end of the world though, and certainly not something you need a Knight in shining armour to come and protect you from.

Your baby is at the forefront of your mind at all times. It doesn't work that way with others though.

He apologised already, time to move on.

whynotwhatknot · 15/08/2021 11:53

he does sound a prat i think people are missing tghe update that hes now smoking near your room

Chikapu · 15/08/2021 11:56

Why describe him as 'baby's uncle'? It all sounds overly dramatic to me.

Hekatestorch · 15/08/2021 11:57

Why do people always think leaving a baby with a feckless parent is the answer?

Who said the dp is a feckless parent?

Deadringer · 15/08/2021 11:58

Yanbu to be annoyed, sleep is precious when you have a baby, but yabu to make such a drama about a minor incident. Give the baby to your dh for a couple of hours and have a nap.

SheWoreYellow · 15/08/2021 12:01

One sober parent is plenty. How do you think single parents manage? Smile

You sound knackered though. Can you arrange some swaps with your OH to get a nap?

Deadringer · 15/08/2021 12:02

@whynotwhatknot

he does sound a prat i think people are missing tghe update that hes now smoking near your room
He is smoking on the balcony, not standing over the baby blowing it into his face.
Planty13 · 15/08/2021 12:03

YANBU to be a bit annoyed but your following post are just silly. You didn’t need to be protected, your OH is allowed to drink, get some perspective and stop being so precious

Mummasdiary2021 · 15/08/2021 12:06

@shakeitoffshakeacocktail

Leave the baby with its dad and go out for a quiet walk and coffee alone, he gets to parent today
This! It's fine for them to go out drinking, as long as you get your down time too! The uncle was out of order though. You were right to call him a loser. I wouldnt have been so nice! X
diamondpony80 · 15/08/2021 12:09

DH is very sensible and never drinks in the house any more (he drank ALOT in his younger days). But when he gets together with his brothers (who are all equally sensible in their own homes) it's like they're all 18 again. They turn into complete drunken idiots. What you've experienced is really only a very minor one-off incident. While it is understandably annoying and thoughtless on his part, I wouldn't fall out with a BIL over it.

TheGirlWhoLived · 15/08/2021 12:19

Why did you call him a loser? That seems just mean… i think you need to get over yourself a bit.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 15/08/2021 12:23

He's a tosser.

Nobody needs to burst into a bedroom where people are sleeping, turn the light on and start shouting at them unless they're in the middle of SAS training. It's terrifying for somebody in deep sleep for that to happen.

Which is why my mother and my abusive ex both loved doing it.

Is there any way you could block or lock the door tonight? If there's a door wedge, that would stop it opening and, even if he did do it again (because the people who think it's acceptable don't only do it once), he'd have to bang on the door which, although it's still horrible, doesn't have quite the same visceral 'I'm about to be raped or murdered' instinctive reaction as having somebody actually in your room near your bed and baby.

Either that, or I'd just take the baby and go either to a hotel or home.

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 15/08/2021 12:28

Really hard to be magnanimous when you're sleep deprived. But it's not worth falling out over, you'll feel better tomorrow. Just make sure to 'jokingly' point out that if he wakes baby up again he'll be solely responsible for getting them back to sleep!

Flowers500 · 15/08/2021 12:35

It sounds like you’re very tired, but you’re making a lot of drama over very little. Although to be honest I’m not sure why anyone considered a fun boozy holiday as an ideal baby trip…

Plumtree391 · 15/08/2021 12:41

How dare he burst into your room in the middle of the night and couldn't the keys have waited until morning? That's appalling behaviour, really rude.

I don't blame you for being annoyed and wouldn't like to be staying with drunks with my baby anyway. I'd go home (if transport was available).

LavenderAskew · 15/08/2021 13:11

Is there something else that leads into your annoyance - like you're always the sober on and your DH gets drunk? Are there other incidents that your BIL has expressed self-centeredness with that as effect you?

As a one off last night is annoying (no doubt - lack of sleep is a killer) but it is something you would generally leave behind once you've expressed your annoyance.

flameycakes · 15/08/2021 13:34

Not sure why people are giving the op a hard time. The idiot uncle burst into a room drunk and woke a sleeping baby up, her partner then proceeded to chat with him. Both a pair of inconsiderate nobheads!