To feel disgusted at baby’s uncle?

[Sheerdetermination]

My (drunk) bil burst into the bedroom last night, switching the light on, in order to shout at my dp (his brother) about some keys he couldn’t find. He needed the keys to go to his bedroom in another part of the apartment building.
We are staying at his dad’s apartment.
My baby (who sleeps with us) was woken up and was then awake for 1.5 hours, and today we’re both exhausted.
DP was tipsy and no help at the time.
This morning, I thought by bil would be embarrassed and apologetic. He was neither. Just have a half-hearted apology. Sleep-deprived, upset and angry, I lost my rag and called him a loser. All feels very horrible. But what uncle behaves like that? And how wrong of them both to be drunk- who would have looked after baby if I became ill or something?
AIBU?

Who said the dp is a feckless parent?

OP has strongly suggested it.

@flameycakes

Not sure why people are giving the op a hard time. The idiot uncle burst into a room drunk and woke a sleeping baby up, her partner then proceeded to chat with him. Both a pair of inconsiderate nobheads!

Nobody has said they aren’t. OP is getting a hard time by being over the top about it - she is disgusted, called her BiL a loser, there was something about needing protection and the suggestion that BiL and his brother should not drink in case she falls ill…

But what uncle behaves like that? And how wrong of them both to be drunk- who would have looked after baby if I became ill or something?

How awesomely self centred !

@BoredZelda

Who said the dp is a feckless parent?

OP has strongly suggested it.

Where?

She said she thinks he shouldn't have been tipsy. But even if that was reasonable, as far as we know it was one evening. That doesn't make or even hint at someone being generally feckless.

And expecting no one to ever have less than 2 adults on hand in case one gets sick and can't look after the baby is ridiculous.

You are over reacting really,, this just seems like a situation that can happen where a drunken person is acting, well like a drunken person,who has lost a bit of control, and you end up a bit tired later.

I wouldn't feel comfortable if the only other adults where I was staying were drunk and one of them burst into my bedroom, I doubt many people would.

Don't go there again with brother in law, op.

Goodness what a tiny problem.

@aprilx I'd defy anyone not to go over the top when someone bursts into your room when you are fast asleep, it would be extremely unnerving to say the least.

And it must have the op wondering what the hell else he could do whilst pissed, he obviously has zero control after a drink, her partner the same apparently. Nowt worse than pissed up obnoxious twats who don't give a fuck about anyone else, including a baby!

@Yaya26

Goodness what a tiny problem.

I'm sure it's not that tiny, quality over quantity 😂😜

"Nobody needs to burst into a bedroom where people are sleeping, turn the light on and start shouting at them unless they're in the middle of SAS training. It's terrifying for somebody in deep sleep for that to happen."

Looks like my kids are training me up for the SAS, as they do this regularly . Fine, tell him off OP for being irritating but don't make a mountain out of a molehill.

It’s annoying and inconsiderate. I know a lot of people are saying it is a tiny problem/not worth getting worked up about but this would irritate me massively and I probably wouldn’t go back.

I don’t drink though, and find it really aggravating to be around drunk people when they are acting stupid, who will excuse behaviour like bursting into your room shouting and waking a sleeping baby because they were drunk.

Wouldn’t go back to sleep over, I meant.

@bettyboodecia

"Nobody needs to burst into a bedroom where people are sleeping, turn the light on and start shouting at them unless they're in the middle of SAS training. It's terrifying for somebody in deep sleep for that to happen."

Looks like my kids are training me up for the SAS, as they do this regularly . Fine, tell him off OP for being irritating but don't make a mountain out of a molehill.

Wonder if you'd think the same if it happened to, doesn't your tiny mind comprehend the woman could have been scared ffs. Some right egits on here at times.

My tiny mind is saying you're quite correct @flameycakes.
This must never be forgiven or forgotten.

@Sheerdetermination

It’s dp I’m annoyed with on that point - there was no one sober in the flat apart from me.

Eh? So what to single parents do OP, or parents whose partners work nights? Do YOU need someone to take care of you too? I'm confused!

This is a one-off I take it? something that's pissed you off and you need to move on!
God help you when your baby has a rough night and you're on your own.

don’t really get this. Are neither of you ever allowed to get drunk again?

Not really if you are a responsible parent.

Glass of wine maybe but responsible parents who are around their children shouldn't really be drunk.

@spanielstail Agree with you there.
@flameycakes Thank you for sticking up for me. It really was horrendous. And I was so upset that my baby was woken up & frightened too.
Apologies have been said and we’ll let water flow under the bridge. But I will be on my guard when we are all staying at my fil’s again.
By the way, we’re not on holiday, as most have assumed. We’re introducing the baby to his grandfather & uncle. And we’re aboard, otherwise I would have packed up this morning - especially when the flat filled with smoke.
Onwards!

PS. To those who say single parents manage. Yes f course they do and anyone who has a child knows single parents are amazing for how they manage. I would just be worried that if I went down with food poisoning, the baby would be left in the hands of three drunk people. A sick single parent would presumably call someone reliable for help.

@Sheerdetermination

PS. To those who say single parents manage. Yes f course they do and anyone who has a child knows single parents are amazing for how they manage. I would just be worried that if I went down with food poisoning, the baby would be left in the hands of three drunk people. A sick single parent would presumably call someone reliable for help.

The bitter truth is you keep parenting through the food poisening. You don’t leave a child with drunks. Ever.

@Sheerdetermination

PS. To those who say single parents manage. Yes f course they do and anyone who has a child knows single parents are amazing for how they manage. I would just be worried that if I went down with food poisoning, the baby would be left in the hands of three drunk people. A sick single parent would presumably call someone reliable for help.

But what were the chances you would come down with food poisoning that night.

When you are at home, is your dp always there? What do you think happens if the parent who is at home falls at the other partner is unreachable at work?

To say one of you can never have a drink just incase the other fall ill is very over the top.

And single parents don't always have someone they can call.

Yea sorry the line about them both being drunk makes you sound controlling and precious.

Whilst your BiL could be more courteous he wasn’t thinking and you’ve told him off that’s the end of it.

@Sheerdetermination

It’s dp I’m annoyed with on that point - there was no one sober in the flat apart from me.

Don't see what the big deal with this is. My husband goes to work and I look after the kids, or he goes out for the evening and has a drink. I don't expect him to stay at home constantly in case I feel unwell.

@Sheerdetermination

PS. To those who say single parents manage. Yes f course they do and anyone who has a child knows single parents are amazing for how they manage. I would just be worried that if I went down with food poisoning, the baby would be left in the hands of three drunk people. A sick single parent would presumably call someone reliable for help.

How likely is that though, really? I have had food poisoning about 3 times in my entire adult life - the chance of that happening at the same time my husband is drunk are so slim.

I get why you're a bit annoyed. Yeah, your DP and BiL being drunken idiots must be annoying but I honesrly think you are over-reacting. Surely you can just tell him you're pissed off and then move on from it. Plus you said yourself your DP was tipsy, not like he was falling over himself drunk. Pick your battles, OP. This is a bit of a non issue. He had a few drinks with his brother, he was hardly doing anything terrible.