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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder if it really is my fault?

103 replies

HolidayBluz · 15/08/2021 09:35

On holiday with husband and 2dc. Husband likes to go surfing here.

Went out surfing yesterday afternoon which was fine. We discussed taking the Dc swimming when he got back.

But he was out so long that there wasn’t time for swimming before dinner. While he was out I was in the cottage with the preschool dc as it was raining. Kept them busy with activities but they were going a bit crazy.

When he got back I said you were much longer than I expected. Since then he’s basically been ignoring me.

I apologised last night saying the dc had been a lot and I was a bit overwhelmed but he’s still basically ignoring me/ giving one word answers.

I feel sick in my stomach. I wish I hadn’t said anything. I’ve basically ruined the rest of the holiday now.

I can’t help but think maybe I should be forgiven though. I’m not perfect but I’m trying my best.

AIBU to think this can be forgotten about?

OP posts:
BillyWhozz · 15/08/2021 15:34

Did you even have input into the location? Either way he's a selfish twat.

PrincessNutella · 15/08/2021 15:56

You have a right to sulk, not him...............

Megameg56 · 15/08/2021 21:09

Sexist!!

Original poster
HolidayBluz · 20/01/2023 12:38

Just in case anyone is still around. It took me a while after this incident (and others that I posted about under different names)…But I did leave him. Going through a really horrible divorce, but hopeful for a better future. Just wanted to say thank you for all the support and advice.

OP posts:
FadedRed · 20/01/2023 12:44

I didn’t see your thread back in August ‘21, but have just read it through and wish you all the best for the future. 💐 You deserve to be happy in your life without this selfish, sulky manchild. Your children will learn that their mother is a strong person who refused to accept abuse from a partner.

Eastereggsboxedupready · 20/01/2023 12:53

I remember the thread op. Glad you are out. There is life and great mh after divorce ime.

SchoolQuestionnaire · 20/01/2023 12:53

I didn’t see this when you originally posted but I think you have done the right thing. He seems like a very selfish, childish man sulking when you dare to question him.

I hope all goes well and you find the happiness you deserve in the future op.Flowers

Dacadactyl · 20/01/2023 12:55

If my husband had done this to me, I would kick off.

Where's the mutual respect in your relationship?!

Dacadactyl · 20/01/2023 12:56

Sorry I didn't RTFT....just seen your update. Good luck.

LadyHarmby · 20/01/2023 13:00

Good for you, OP. I imagine it’s very difficult but it will be worth it in the end. Keep your chin up and hit the wine as and when required.

CameltoeParkerBowles · 20/01/2023 13:03

Good for you! Life's too short to waste with abusive arseholes.

AgentProvocateur · 20/01/2023 13:08

Well done OP. I was getting angry reading this. I wish you and your children a bright future now you’ve got to f of your man child.

arethereanyleftatall · 20/01/2023 13:08

HolidayBluz · 20/01/2023 12:38

Just in case anyone is still around. It took me a while after this incident (and others that I posted about under different names)…But I did leave him. Going through a really horrible divorce, but hopeful for a better future. Just wanted to say thank you for all the support and advice.

Yes op!!! Yes. Yes. Yes. I saw your update and a great big smile came on the face of a complete stranger. From someone out the other side - you will be so so much happier.

I clicked on the post, saw it was from years ago, and hoped it was renewed by the op saying she'd left. And it was. Yes! 💪

Sparkletastic · 20/01/2023 13:15

Respect to you OP. Your future will be so much brighter I hope.

Raquelos · 20/01/2023 13:19

Oh I am so glad, I did see your thread originally and I felt so sad for you, first for being with a sulky idiot who ruined your holiday but also for being made to doubt if you were the one in the wrong on so many things. I am so pleased you have got out, hard as it is to get through a divorce, you will be so happy you did.

Well done and congratulations 💖

BliainNua · 20/01/2023 13:25

I saw the date on your OP @HolidayBluz & I really hoped it was an update that you'd left the miserable fucker - Yay, you have!!
I'm sure it wasn't easy, but well done!!! Onwards & upwards 😁💐

Colderthanever · 20/01/2023 13:35

HolidayBluz · 20/01/2023 12:38

Just in case anyone is still around. It took me a while after this incident (and others that I posted about under different names)…But I did leave him. Going through a really horrible divorce, but hopeful for a better future. Just wanted to say thank you for all the support and advice.

Oh well done. I am relieved for you. I read this today and was thinking wtaf. How does she think this is her fault. I’m glad you’ve left. What a horrible selfish little man he is.

Hoppinggreen · 20/01/2023 13:36

HolidayBluz · 20/01/2023 12:38

Just in case anyone is still around. It took me a while after this incident (and others that I posted about under different names)…But I did leave him. Going through a really horrible divorce, but hopeful for a better future. Just wanted to say thank you for all the support and advice.

Well done, I hope everything gets sorted asap DH you can move on with your new life x

Bemyclementine · 20/01/2023 13:39

Well done @HolidayBluz ! My exH was the sane, reading tge part where you said you felt sick about it really brought ut back to me. Wishing you all the best.

unsync · 20/01/2023 13:40

Well done. My ex was a sulker too and also many other abusive behaviours. I've been out just over five years. Divorce finalised last year, he dragged it out and behaved awfully, it was traumatic. However, life without him is good, even more so since the Decree Absolute.

Keep going, it is worth it. 😊

SamphiretheTervosaurReturneth · 20/01/2023 13:42

So glad I read to the end and saw your update!

Well done you. Chin up!

BlueBooh · 20/01/2023 13:44

Well done OP, it will be worth it in the long term. Flowers

MangoBiscuit · 20/01/2023 13:44

I totally missed the dates at the start, but I read through and was feeling pretty angry on your behalf OP. Then saw your update! Well done!

My exH used to be similar. It's not the main reason he's now EX H, but it certainly contributed. The divorce was horrible, he was a monumental arsehole. But I do not regret divorcing him even slightly, it was the best decision I've ever made.

Thepeopleversuswork · 20/01/2023 13:45

So let me get this straight... he went out and left you in the lurch and presumably disappointed your children by out for hours longer than he said he would.

You pointed out that he took longer than planned.

And you've ruined the holiday?

If you're in a marriage where asking questions or having boundaries to poor or selfish behaviour from your partner is a problem you're in the wrong marriage.

There is nothing wrong with you asserting your needs and him sulking because you've done so is indicative that he's selfish and immature and doesn't respect you. If this happens regularly you want to think about whether you want the rest of your life to be peppered with him sulking because you've had the temerity to state yours and your children's needs.

XmasElf10 · 20/01/2023 13:45

Well done HolidayBluz! It will be better once it is all over :)

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