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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have called the police after my son just crashed his car into a field

104 replies

lonelylou09 · 15/08/2021 02:44

Worried I've done the wrong thing by doing the right thing...
My son is 22 been driving for almost 2 years. He's called me tonight to say he had crashed his car on the way home from work and is in a field somewhere.
He says he's fine but has no idea where he is.
Myself and my partner go looking for him and drive past him twice as he's literally come down a hill too fast and hit a tree which has spun his car up and over a hedge into a field facing the wrong way.
Can't see anyway to get to him over the hedge so go to find the gateway and tell my partner to go home for torches and his phone. I'm in a huge panic and call the police.
Manage to roll under a gate and get in the field to my son who is fine but in shock. The car is a write off and God only knows how he survived hitting a tree at speed and jumping a hedge.
Partner comes back so I get my son to sit down and wait for police. They turn up and do a breathalyser which is zero.
They check the car and give my son a talking too about how lucky he is and tell us to let the insurance know.
Finally got home and he's fine but very shaken up although freely admitting he was driving too fast downhill in the rain and fog and just lost the road.
I let the farmer know and he pops along to see if he can help.
So does anyone know if I've done the right thing? Worried how it will impact my son now with the insurance ect?
Also not sure what happens next. Obviously have to inform insurance company but we wouldn't be claiming in it as it's his fault.
To top it all off my partner then got his van stuck in a ditch next to the crash site so we had to get his elderly dad out of bed to come and tow us out.
Did I also mention it was raining the whole time?
Soaked and stressed! But so thankful my son is OK.. Not a mark on him

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 15/08/2021 02:47

You've done the right thing and thank GOODNESS your son is unharmed. That's all that really matters. Hopefully, he has learned a very powerful lesson about how dangerous excessive speed can be. Have a firm talk with him about it tomorrow.

DramaAlpaca · 15/08/2021 02:51

Absolutely you've done the right thing. How scary and stressful for you all. Glad your lad is OK.

Crunched · 15/08/2021 02:52

Sounds like you acted in the best possible way considering the circumstances. I'm so pleased your DS is not hurt and hope this will make him be a bit more cautious in future. I have a DS the same age.

UnsuitableHat · 15/08/2021 02:53

OMG what a night, OP. Glad your son is ok.

WTF475878237NC · 15/08/2021 02:54

Pleased he's OK. It is good (not nice obviously) he is shaken up and I hope he realises this could have had a very different ending and doesn't forget it in a hurry!

You have done the right thing.

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 15/08/2021 03:05

I couldn't believe how he was alive after seeing how the car had hit a tree and the impact made it jump over the hedge.
The first year of driving he had a black box and had a ridiculously high score for careful driving. We live out in the sticks so I think it's a case of him thinking he knows the road well.
Was thinking afterwards I probably shouldn't of called the police as there was no one else involved and the farmer is someone I know so could of easily have sorted out getting the car removed.
But same time I'm really glad the police had a chat with him about not driving like a idiot because I think it's really shaken him up.

OP posts:
Changechangychange · 15/08/2021 03:11

I’d have called an ambulance rather than the police, but that is quibbling really. I’d certainly have rung 999. How scary for you.

wombat1a · 15/08/2021 03:19

Sounds like it under control, at some point (soon) you will need to organise the recovery of the wreck, tell the insurance company, cancel the tax etc etc. Get photos beforehand too in case you need them later on.

BastardMonkfish · 15/08/2021 03:22

The police might have come asking about it anyway if they'd noticed it before you can get a recovery vehicle out.

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 15/08/2021 03:24

@Changechangychange yes maybe in hindsight I should of but he had rang me and assured me he was fine. Just didn't know where he was. When we found the car from the road side we couldn't see the car.. Just the hazard lights and we were speaking over the hedge.
It was only when I climbed over the gate and saw the state of the car and then later saw where he had hit the tree that I even thought about it as he was talking to me the whole time and walked back with me across the field and down the road. The police checked him over a few minutes after that. There's not a mark on him.

OP posts:
Original poster
lonelylou09 · 15/08/2021 03:25

@wombat1a thank you. Have no idea at all when it comes to things like this and there was thankfully no one else involved

OP posts:
Original poster
lonelylou09 · 15/08/2021 03:28

@BastardMonkfish it might be more obvious in the cold light of day but we drove past him twice and couldn't find him as there's a drop the other side of the hedge. It was only the fact that we went up the other side of the hill and looked back that we saw his lights.

OP posts:
NumberTheory · 15/08/2021 03:28

lonely you sound like you might be in a bit of shock yourself. So take things easy. Don't worry about things you've done tonight. You'll be able to think more clearly in the morning.

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 15/08/2021 03:31

@NumberTheory definitely. I was in a huge panic trying to get over this gate that had barb wire all wrapped over it so ended up rolling underneath.
I think his whole life flashed before my eyes when I saw where he had hit the tree. A few more inches the other way and I don't think he would of survived

OP posts:
alexdgr8 · 15/08/2021 03:33

glad all are uninjured.
do none of you have breakdown assistance.
why call out an old man at night. green flag/auto assist are good.

ittakes2 · 15/08/2021 03:36

I called the police once after an accident where my car was hit and turned 360. They came but explained police only need to be called for accidents blocking traffic etc or major accidents. I think you did the right thing as he had proof he wasn’t drinking. Just because it’s his fault doesn’t mean you can’t claim on insurance.

londonscalling · 15/08/2021 03:41

I know he wasn't drinking etc, but the fact that the police came may make him be more cautious in future.

SequinsandStiIettos · 15/08/2021 04:22

Just because it’s his fault doesn’t mean you can’t claim on insurance

This.
Unless he is third party only, fully comp should cover it.
If written off, be warned he will be offered crappy 'current market value' glass guide etc but unless the car itself is not worth what the premium excess will be, it makes no sense not to claim.

mathanxiety · 15/08/2021 05:07

Was thinking afterwards I probably shouldn't of called the police as there was no one else involved and the farmer is someone I know so could of easily have sorted out getting the car removed.

I think in retrospect calling the police was a good idea. They breathalysed him and ascertained there is absolutely no suspicion of drink driving, which is a good thing.

Don't hesitate to claim on the insurance.

mathanxiety · 15/08/2021 05:08

I would have your DS go to see his GP asap even though he seemed fine. It would be a good idea to have him checked for concussion.

OaxacaChihuahua · 15/08/2021 05:25

How terrifying - so glad your son is ok!

You’ve done exactly the right thing, don’t worry about any of that.

Hope you’ve all had some rest and are feeling calmer Brew

Earlydancing · 15/08/2021 05:39

You did exactly the right thing. You have to report it anyway, and there'd be doubt cast over him drinking which will now be dispelled by the breathalyser.
Glad he's all right. That's a lot of shock for someone to deal with in one night.

speakout · 15/08/2021 05:59

You acted in panic OP, don't blame yourself. No real damage done- except to a car.

I have a strange ability to become super calm in emergency situations and would have thought things through a little further.
The police could have charged your ds with a motoring offence because of the accident- but they didn't so all is good.
I would have made sure my son is OK then called the RAC accident recovery all family members are covered under my policy. I wouldn't have called the police , no.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/08/2021 06:08

100% you did the right thing.
I'm glad no one was hurt - your son had an incredibly lucky escape! Hope he too learns his lesson from that. Thanks

GreatAuntEmily · 15/08/2021 06:14

I don't think I would have called the police or informed the insurance co.
Could you have just got it towed to a local garage?

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