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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have called the police after my son just crashed his car into a field

104 replies

lonelylou09 · 15/08/2021 02:44

Worried I've done the wrong thing by doing the right thing...
My son is 22 been driving for almost 2 years. He's called me tonight to say he had crashed his car on the way home from work and is in a field somewhere.
He says he's fine but has no idea where he is.
Myself and my partner go looking for him and drive past him twice as he's literally come down a hill too fast and hit a tree which has spun his car up and over a hedge into a field facing the wrong way.
Can't see anyway to get to him over the hedge so go to find the gateway and tell my partner to go home for torches and his phone. I'm in a huge panic and call the police.
Manage to roll under a gate and get in the field to my son who is fine but in shock. The car is a write off and God only knows how he survived hitting a tree at speed and jumping a hedge.
Partner comes back so I get my son to sit down and wait for police. They turn up and do a breathalyser which is zero.
They check the car and give my son a talking too about how lucky he is and tell us to let the insurance know.
Finally got home and he's fine but very shaken up although freely admitting he was driving too fast downhill in the rain and fog and just lost the road.
I let the farmer know and he pops along to see if he can help.
So does anyone know if I've done the right thing? Worried how it will impact my son now with the insurance ect?
Also not sure what happens next. Obviously have to inform insurance company but we wouldn't be claiming in it as it's his fault.
To top it all off my partner then got his van stuck in a ditch next to the crash site so we had to get his elderly dad out of bed to come and tow us out.
Did I also mention it was raining the whole time?
Soaked and stressed! But so thankful my son is OK.. Not a mark on him

OP posts:
Essentialgarage · 15/08/2021 07:55

@LunaLula83

God some ppl are so thick. Yes all car accidents must be reported to the police (use common sense, obv not for a ding) You do know what to do next because the police just told you.
No they don't! The police wouldn't be able to do anything else if everyone reported every accident.

Op you did what you thought best at the time, but those people saying they wouldn't tell the insurance if they don't claim, he has to inform them whatever as failure to disclose an accident would invalidate your insurance.

From the gov website

If you’re in an accident, If you have an accident causing damage or injury you must give the following to anyone with ‘reasonable grounds for requiring them’, for example an insurance company your name and address the vehicle registration number You also need to give the owner’s name and address if the vehicle is not yours.

You must report the accident to the police within 24 hours if you do not give your details at the time of the accident.

You must also report the accident to your insurance company, even if you’re not planning to make a claim

Peace43 · 15/08/2021 08:00

Claim on the insurance (assuming it’s fully comp). That’s what it’s there for!

user1471539385 · 15/08/2021 08:04

Just echoing previous advice to get your DS checked over at a walk-in clinic. There could be internal injuries after such a major accident, and as previously mentioned adrenaline could stop him from feeling pain.

Not notifying the insurance about an accident invalidates the cover, so you are right to report even if there is no claim.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 15/08/2021 08:08

I wrote off a car when I was younger on a country road. It’s easily done if in experienced especially if has recently rained. Claim on the insurance. I did have PTSD flashbacks so your son may experience this and be anxious being driven from now on.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 15/08/2021 08:09

Also, he may be fine now but wake up tomorrow with whiplash.

HurryUpAndWait23 · 15/08/2021 08:10

If I'm honest, an ambulance would have been my first thought.
I can't see what police could have done really.

dreamersdown · 15/08/2021 08:10

You absolutely did the right thing. Primarily because calling them means that he was breathalysed and there can be no claims of drink driving. Well done, brilliant parenting under pressure. So glad he’s safe with you.

HurryUpAndWait23 · 15/08/2021 08:11

@Peace43

Claim on the insurance (assuming it’s fully comp). That’s what it’s there for!
And cost an absolute bomb for the next how ever many years...
Travelledtheworld · 15/08/2021 08:12

My neighbour did this when his son flipped and crashed the car one night while driving drunk. No one else was involved and no damage to anything except the car.Son walked back home very shaken but his Dad took him to the police station and made him report it.
Son went to court and had his licence taken away for a year. Car was written off. The family all all on very good terms with each other ten years later.
A lesson learned

Notavegan · 15/08/2021 08:16

I think you will probably be reassured by the breath test and won't have any doubt hanging over you. He wasn't charged either.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/08/2021 08:16

Yes, you do have to let the insurance company know (if you're honest) because not telling them does invalidate your insurance. I learnt this the hard way when I was a young twenties driver. Luckily I'd got my insurance through a broker who sorted it out for me pretty easily, and got me cover quickly through another company but lesson learnt!

orangejuicer · 15/08/2021 08:26

You absolutely did the right then OP.

Hope your DS is alright today.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 15/08/2021 08:28

It wouldn’t have occurred to me to call the police, only an ambulance. Glad your son survived this awful crash!

dunkaccino · 15/08/2021 08:39

Hope he's feeling ok this morning. Absolutely let the police and landowner know - there could be stock in the field, and the police can put the 'police aware' tape on the hedge and vehicle to save others passing from checking/ringing it in.

Lucia574 · 15/08/2021 08:55

GlD he’s ok. You did the right thing. Definitely claim on insurance for the car, though. Why wouldn’t you?

Scrowy · 15/08/2021 09:00

Yes it's helpful where there are car crashes into fields ditches etc if the police are aware as it means they can put the police aware tape/stickers on to stop other people ringing them about it or risking themselves to go and check theres no one in it.

Lovemusic33 · 15/08/2021 09:04

The main thing is that your DS is ok.

Those saying “claim in the insurance” you do realise it’s unlikely a insurance company will touch him after a accident and such a big claim? Insurance is so high for young drivers as it is, this would probably double his insurance price and that’s if anyone will even cover him.

The police won’t do anything as no one else was involved, the only damage was to his car. It’s pretty common for young lads/girls to crash their cars during the first couple years of driving, my brother crashed his a few weeks after passing his test 😬.

MakemeaCake · 15/08/2021 09:05

It might be worth enrolling him on a driving course, where he can play around on skid pans with an instructor, and learn how to handle cars in different conditions. Too many young kids think they can drive after passing their test only to come a cropper through being over-confident, or not knowing how to drive safely in rain, fog, snow, etc.

tiredanddangerous · 15/08/2021 09:07

You absolutely did the right thing. Surely the farmer would have phoned the police if you hadn't.

I hope your ds is ok Flowers

Spudlet · 15/08/2021 09:07

DH wrote a car off when he was young, going too fast and spinning into a ditch. He was unhurt, but the car was a goner. He refers to the next few years of having to drive a rubbish car due to the high insurance costs as his penance… he was very appreciative of the decent car he got once the premiums went down again! And of course he’s a much better driver now.

Glad your DS is ok op, hope you’re ok too. He’ll probably be very stiff and sore this morning I expect. But ultimately this will be a learning experience for him. Try not to think too hard about how things could have turned out, just remind yourself of how they have turned out and concentrate on that (easier said than done!).

dottydodah · 15/08/2021 09:13

Absolutely you did the right thing! Also worth a trip to A and E to check him over as well.Lets hope he learns from this and slows down a bit in future!

flipflopslap · 15/08/2021 09:13

So glad your son is ok. What a nightmare.

You did the right thing. He'll remember this and hopefully be a really safe driver in the future.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 15/08/2021 09:22

Get your son checked out - adrenaline can hide injuries / pain.

Beware using what 3 words it has sent rescuers to the wrong place before (unsurprisingly given how it works) cybergibbons.com/security-2/why-what3words-is-not-suitable-for-safety-critical-applications/
OS locate is a free app that will generate a grid reference.

Monestera · 15/08/2021 09:25

When I lived out in the sticks, this kind of thing was quite common. Often drink-related. The police were never informed. There'd just be some random damage to a wall or field and some teasing. For example, someone drove through a hedge in to a pond and a sign went up "free car wash".
Coming from the city with a different attitude to drink-driving, I always found it a bit hollow.

Anyway, not your situation. I think you did the right thing. Is your son angry with you for informing the police?

dunkaccino · 15/08/2021 09:26

What 3 words is great in towns/built up areas where it works, but often it can be many miles wrong in rural areas with a poor signal - rather ironically the very areas that it is aimed at. Don't rely on it unless you do actually know where you are.

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