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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have called the police after my son just crashed his car into a field

104 replies

lonelylou09 · 15/08/2021 02:44

Worried I've done the wrong thing by doing the right thing...
My son is 22 been driving for almost 2 years. He's called me tonight to say he had crashed his car on the way home from work and is in a field somewhere.
He says he's fine but has no idea where he is.
Myself and my partner go looking for him and drive past him twice as he's literally come down a hill too fast and hit a tree which has spun his car up and over a hedge into a field facing the wrong way.
Can't see anyway to get to him over the hedge so go to find the gateway and tell my partner to go home for torches and his phone. I'm in a huge panic and call the police.
Manage to roll under a gate and get in the field to my son who is fine but in shock. The car is a write off and God only knows how he survived hitting a tree at speed and jumping a hedge.
Partner comes back so I get my son to sit down and wait for police. They turn up and do a breathalyser which is zero.
They check the car and give my son a talking too about how lucky he is and tell us to let the insurance know.
Finally got home and he's fine but very shaken up although freely admitting he was driving too fast downhill in the rain and fog and just lost the road.
I let the farmer know and he pops along to see if he can help.
So does anyone know if I've done the right thing? Worried how it will impact my son now with the insurance ect?
Also not sure what happens next. Obviously have to inform insurance company but we wouldn't be claiming in it as it's his fault.
To top it all off my partner then got his van stuck in a ditch next to the crash site so we had to get his elderly dad out of bed to come and tow us out.
Did I also mention it was raining the whole time?
Soaked and stressed! But so thankful my son is OK.. Not a mark on him

OP posts:
Dustyblue · 15/08/2021 06:20

You did the right thing in the circumstance. What if you couldn't have made it to him over the hedge? And it's always best to report accidents involving property damage, even if no one is hurt.

He's very lucky he's ok! Also, where I live (in australia) the police often charge people over single car accidents. Thankfully he seems to have escaped that.

Hope you're all ok.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/08/2021 06:47

I glad your ds is ok. I think you did the correct thing all round. Your ds has zero suspicion for drink driving and has hopefully had the fear of god put up him

As for the insurance, please ensure all rubbish is removed and damage is made good for the farmer. Insurance companies can be buggers for not sorting such things properly.

Shadedog · 15/08/2021 06:48

Probably no need for the police but no harm done. Legally you have to tell his insurance company anyway. The police aren’t going to tell them, and if your ds wants to lie on the “have you been in an accident” bit of the insurance application then they aren’t going to contact the police and ask if he’s lying. He has written a car off though and the most sensible course of action is to fess up, call the insurance, make a claim and accept the higher premiums for the next 5 years. Having a negative breathalyser test is surely a good thing.

Clarinet53 · 15/08/2021 06:54

Glad your son is ok!

I would contact your insurance regarding the accident. If the farmer had a crop in the field which was damaged he can claim against the liability section of your sons cover.

Mindymomo · 15/08/2021 06:56

Of course you’ve done the right thing, like the previous comment, insurance company will ask for details if you are going to claim or at renewal if you are not. So glad your Son is ok, take time for the shock to sink in.

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 15/08/2021 07:04

Thank you all. Haven't slept much and woke up so thankful that he is alive and well and that I'm not waking up to a knock on the door by the police. Just been into check on him while he sleeps and feel so lucky that he's safe in bed.
Very valuable lesson there and thank god for airbags and seatbelts as they definitely did thier job.

OP posts:
feelingfree17 · 15/08/2021 07:09

Totally did the right thing. The Police will have further instilled in him, just how different the outcome could have been. So pleased to hear no one was hurt, The car can easily be fixed.

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 15/08/2021 07:09

@speakout yes that's what I was worried about once I'd got him out the field and we were waiting for them to turn up.

If he had just spun off into a ditch or gateway I would not have panicked so much but he had landed in a field where I know there are racehorses and other animals grazing.
I wasn't really thinking straight but I guess as others have said at least he was breathalysed immediately after and was clear.
The farmer just laughed and said he done it himself when younger.

OP posts:
Okbye · 15/08/2021 07:13

Just be glad your son is OK - I like to think in a situation like that someone must've been watching over him 💐

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 15/08/2021 07:13

@GreatAuntEmily although I know the guy who owns the land there was nothing to say he might take offence as my son parking on his land in such a way.. Especially considering there are racehorses grazing in there. So I guess my thinking if any was we had nothing to hide or run away from so I'd rather let the police know than someone else call them.
Also my mind was completely gone with trying to contemplate how the car got where it did and that we wouldn't be able to get it out

OP posts:
Original poster
lonelylou09 · 15/08/2021 07:15

@Mummyoflittledragon oh yes we will make sure everything is cleaned up. The farmer said he would give us a tow out as any recovery truck wouldn't be able to safely get in the field.

OP posts:
Tablow · 15/08/2021 07:18

My friend has a house at the bottom of a hill and she has teenagers drive into the garden (which is a huge field) at speed on a regular basis because they take it too fast and lose control. She's often out there with mugs of tea waiting with them for their parents to arrive. Glad he's ok. Let's hope he learns!

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 15/08/2021 07:20

@Okbye yes someone definitely was watching over him and it was my mum for sure. She died on the second Saturday in August six years ago now so I was thinking about her all day yesterday.
I thought at first he hadn't hit a tree but when I looked he's very narrowly avoided a huge tree and just hit a smaller one to the side. I dread to think what a different outcome it would of been if he had been a few inches over.

OP posts:
friskybivalves · 15/08/2021 07:22

OP I hope to goodness you and your son never have such a scary experience again but if you download a brilliant app called What Three Words it will tell you your position anywhere in the world to the nearest couple of nearest of meters and you can then share that with anyone else. It's fantastic if you need to pick someone up from a festival or pop concert or the side of a road in the middle of nowhere.

It's increasingly used by the emergency services to locate hillwalkers who are lost in fog - or indeed motorists who have accidents in remote locations and have no idea where they are but are in need of help!

Hope you are all feeling a lot better this morning.

pilates · 15/08/2021 07:22

Yes, you did the right thing. Maybe that will give him a wake up call about driving too fast. Glad it was a happy ending, it could have been such a different outcome.

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 15/08/2021 07:24

@Tablow yes it's very common around here to see the local sport of hedge jumping and there are a few well known spots. Normally in bad conditions in the middle of the night but mostly caused by taking the corners too fast.
I said why on earth were you going so fast as its a steep hill and narrow and he said he was being cocky and impatient to get home after work and he could see no headlights coming so he knew the road was clear.
He was very shook up last night and I think that will stay with him.

OP posts:
DorisFlies · 15/08/2021 07:25

Glad your son is OK. What a night for you. I echo Frisky re installing What Three Words on your phones

Oblomov21 · 15/08/2021 07:25

Like speak out, I wouldn't have called the police. I would have contacted insurance and arranged recovery.

LunaLula83 · 15/08/2021 07:27

God some ppl are so thick. Yes all car accidents must be reported to the police (use common sense, obv not for a ding) You do know what to do next because the police just told you.

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 15/08/2021 07:30

@friskybivalves yes I do need to get that app as I also have a horse and go riding and it's a worry about being found if something happens. When he rang he said the hazards were on and we know the route he took so didn't even occur to me that we (and the police) would have trouble finding him. I just thought he had skidded into a ditch or a gateway.

OP posts:
BobaFettOnMyBedsideTable · 15/08/2021 07:31

You did what felt right at the time. It was a high stress situation. A chat from the police about driving more carefully in future is no bad thing. When I think back to the first few years after passing my test, I realise I was not a good driver. Driving too fast in rain, too close to other cars etc etc. Thank goodness he's OK, and hopefully it'll make him take things a bit slower.

The police being called out will not make an insurance claim any worse. Only if he'd been drinking or done for dangerous driving etc.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 15/08/2021 07:35

i think it is better the police were involved, particularly as the farmer had to come out, to pacify all concerned if necessary.

Quartz2208 · 15/08/2021 07:49

Yes you did the right thing - I would also get him checked out by medical professionals as well the fact that there isn’t a visible mark doesn’t mean there isn’t some damage or pain that adrenaline was covering up

SofiaMichelle · 15/08/2021 07:51

@LunaLula83

God some ppl are so thick. Yes all car accidents must be reported to the police (use common sense, obv not for a ding) You do know what to do next because the police just told you.
Wow. That's irony for you, right there.

Car accidents do not need to be reported to the police if there are no injuries.

LadyEloise1 · 15/08/2021 07:52

So glad you found him and you did the right thing phoning the police.

I too think he should be checked out medically. He must have been in shock last night.

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