Treated like an alcoholic by midwife?

[MyMabel]

Anyone else been in this situation?

Ok our telephone consultation appointment I was asked how much I drink prior to finding out I was pregnant - I said (honestly) I had about one or two gins every night, the occasion glass or two of wine instead. Couldn’t tell them in units as I have no idea.

I was never drunk, never drank until DP was home as we have a toddler DD so wanted to make sure if anything happened one of us can drive, plus I wouldn’t drink while solely responsible for her. - again, never drunk or even dizzy. Just a glass or two while watching telly before bed. I suppose with COVID and all I was just bored?

Anyway, was asked if I drank since finding out- said no, because I haven’t.

Come to my face to face appointment; Midwife explains that due to my alcohol intake before being pregnant I’ve been referred to speak to someone. I was in a bit of shock to ask questions and just said ok. But after I left I felt mortally embarrassed and now a bit worried they think I’ve got a drinking problem?!

Maybe I’m not BU in the sense that they could perhaps help someone who struggled with alcohol by doing this routinely.. but AIBU to think I really don’t need to speak to someone regarding what I drank in the evenings?

Did I really drink THAT much too much? I get it was too much and probably not healthy for my body.. but I don’t think it’s that bad?!

The main point of the thread is actually whether the OP warranted being referred...which in mine and others opinions, she didn’t! And in some others...she did!

Which is all about alcohol dependency/ alcoholism and people’s perspectives on it.

The passive aggressive reply really isn’t warranted.

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

The main point of the thread is actually whether the OP warranted being referred...which in mine and others opinions, she didn’t! And in some others...she did!

Which is all about alcohol dependency/ alcoholism and people’s perspectives on it.

The passive aggressive reply really isn’t warranted.

You know what? I give up! Unless you are with the Mumsnet police on the matter and agree that this is about what they say it’s about then you just get jumped on from a great height...or called passive aggressive or whatever!

Debate away guys...but unless you call the OP an alcoholic and agree that this thread is about alcohol dependency or any other thing to do with that, then ... you’re wrong!

I’m off to enjoy the rest of my summer! Mumsnet...you’ve been...good!! For the most part!

(Was that passive aggressive enough a response for you @AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken )

My parents used to enjoy a small glass of wine most nights of the week in their latter years - never saw them drink as a kid except a glass on birthdays. My mum started falling at varying times, but one was evening time and they called me up to double check her drinking, and later saw on notes ?alcohol? Cause of fall! My mum would be mortified if she knew but I imagined from this they are keeping a close eye on all alcohol potential issues as a preventative measure now, which is a good thing even if it feels a bit OTT at times. Re my parents I didn’t particularly see it as an issue but guess it probably wasn’t the best for their health though a few drs did tell my mum a small glass at night was fine. I’m sure you’ll be ok OP and as said they are also used to underestimated drinking so probably have you guesstimated as a possible higher bracket of drinking and want to check.

I had exactly the same treatment!! With my second child I said I had a drink most nights prior to being pregnant on their filling out info sheet. I had also had gestational diabetes previously.

I was given a home visit appointment from my booking in appointment to discuss risks and thought that was good / efficient as before the diabetes process was a bit slow.
Home visit happens and she asks me what I would like to gain from the meeting. I then say about the early blood sugar testing and trying to avoid having to take metaformin this time. (I have to add I was never overweight so no bmi risks etc!)
Midwife looks puzzled and says she is here for addiction support!!!
Cue much laughing and the meeting ending there. Do not overly worry OP they just have to follow up their forms!!

@NotMyselfWithoutCoffee

I don't think the midwife was wrong to refer. Bear in mind drinking affects breastfeeding and they may have concerns about drinking every night after the baby was born.

Drinking does not affect breastfeeding unless you're drinking so much you'll drop the baby while doing it. Midwife was wrong and so are you

Lots of myths around breastfeeding and drinking too!

You CAN drink without it affecting your milk and therefore the baby. You have up be careful, obviously, that you’re not too tipsy to care for your baby safely obviously (if you’re caring for them alone)

The NCT host woman we had last week trilled ‘and be careful mums, only a 125ml glass for you when breastfeeding is allowed!’

Which pissed me off because it’s so infantilising, so I challenged her on it.

@qwerty789

How am I wrong?

It's a fact that alcohol goes into breast milk even if it is negligible.

Also the midwife doesn't know whether she will go back to drinking every night, whether she plans on cosleeping in which case you have to avoid alcohol because of sids.

She was right to refer her because that's her job, if someone says they have been drinking every night then they have to make sure that person understands the risks if they decide to continue drinking that way, alcoholic or not.

You don't know the first thing about it, clearly. Learn some biology before you lecture others.

Also SIDS is no caused by co-sleeping or alcohol, ffs. Again, biology 101 for you.

I got referred to smoking cessation during one of my pregnancies even though I said I’d never smoked (which is absolutely true) because my CO level was 4. I lived and worked in a major city and did tell her I had to walk through a group of smokers every day on my way into work but she clearly didn’t believe me. I was totally mortified when the letter came through the post. Miscarried anyway so never had to attend and CO levels went down to 0 with future pregnancies when we moved to the countryside!

I wouldn’t say 1 gin a night is excessive personally and you’ve stopped during pregnancy so think this is totally OTT and a waste of NHS money.

@qwerty789

Why so hostile? All you need to do is google it.

Also i have read several stories about cosleeping parents who have had a drink in the news and then woken up to a baby who has died of "sids"

But clearly you are in the I'm going to have a piss up and breastfeed camp so in which case continue ignoring the nhs guidance which is designed to protect new mothers and babies.

[quote NotMyselfWithoutCoffee]@qwerty789

Why so hostile? All you need to do is google it.

Also i have read several stories about cosleeping parents who have had a drink in the news and then woken up to a baby who has died of "sids"

But clearly you are in the I'm going to have a piss up and breastfeed camp so in which case continue ignoring the nhs guidance which is designed to protect new mothers and babies.[/quote]
I'm "hostile" because you are repeating utter nonsense.

IF you cosleep and drink and roll over on yuor baby that is not SIDS, you melt.

You google all you like pet, I have actual medical and scientific knowledge instead.

@NotMyselfWithoutCoffee no one was talking about a piss up and breastfeeding, why do so many posters assume that one gin is a sure-fire way to being a character in a Hogarth illustration?!
presumably OP (having already had a child for a start) is well clued up and responsible with regards to safe sleeping.

@qwerty789

Yes but it is often counted as sids as they can't always prove the cause of death, hence the advice to avoid alcohol while cosleeping.
Also when you drink you are less attuned to your babies movements and breathing.
Uhuh where did you get this knowledge from then, can you share the source?

@smidgenofapigeon

I'm not saying that op is irresponsible, mainly that some people who have a genuine problem might see that it's ok to have one drink but then overdo it.

Also yes you can assume op knows all of that but the midwife doesn't, that's why they refer people to make sure they are are responsible and aware of safe limits with a baby.

[quote NotMyselfWithoutCoffee]@qwerty789

Yes but it is often counted as sids as they can't always prove the cause of death, hence the advice to avoid alcohol while cosleeping.
Also when you drink you are less attuned to your babies movements and breathing.
Uhuh where did you get this knowledge from then, can you share the source?[/quote]
Wrong again. When will you give up?

@qwerty789

I see you avoided answering my last question and still haven't provided any weight to your arguments.

You insist on calling me wrong but have yet to provide a source or any genuine advice,
I trust the nhs guidance and trained professionals over some random.
Come back with some concrete scientific evidence on why I'm wrong dear, otherwise I'm just going to ignore you from now on.

I don't need to explain anything to you, anyone who knows anything at all knows I am correct.
You're confused, ill informed but loud. And I'm sure you do ignore anyone who can tell all that.

@qwerty789

Tut tut didn't you read my last post, think you may be a little confused yourself.

Bye bye dear.

Back in ‘92, ‘97, ‘00, I was actively encouraged by my midwife to drink a small Mackesons every evening to help with milk production! How times change….

Drinking every night isn’t normal, sorry. Apart from anything else you’ll gain a ton of weight, if you haven’t already.

@Paulinna is there any need for that?! God, the nastiness on this thread. You have NO IDEA what the OP consumes as her calorie intake the rest of the time, nor is it any of your business. I’d have a wine over chocolate or cake any day.

Horrible, bitchy little comment.

@NotMyselfWithoutCoffee

I don't think the midwife was wrong to refer. Bear in mind drinking affects breastfeeding and they may have concerns about drinking every night after the baby was born.

Actually you’d need to drink an amount sufficient to kill yourself before any detectable snd harmful amounts passed to the baby via breast milk

Google Dr Jack Warner abs there are links to scientific studies undertaken on this.
Alcohol is not absorbed into breast milk as it is the bloodstream

The dangers to your baby if you drank too much whilst happening to breastfeed are falling asleep while doing it, dropping them or suffocating them.

@Paulinna

Drinking every night isn’t normal, sorry. Apart from anything else you’ll gain a ton of weight, if you haven’t already.

That was nasty - and uncalled for. Quite apart from being arrant nonsense. The calorie content of a gin or vodka and slimline tonic is negligible.

Oh sorry see the sensible people beat me to it

@cleverpolly3

Yeah I mention this in my later comments.

It is negligible and also regarding the cosleeping thing.
I'm not an expert in how much alcohol is on breast milk, but i do remember the Dr being concerned when I mentioned drinking on my birthday lol!