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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Court ordered supervised contact.

119 replies

Pebbledashery · 14/08/2021 15:49

Forgive me if this is a stupid question. I would put this in legal but won't get much traction. If a court order states that there is to be interim supervised contact in a contact centre, that doesn't mean that contact can take then take place outside the contact centre in the park outside??... Dd has supervised contact in a contact centre with violent, abusive father.. She became very ill after the last session as she was taken to a dirty park outside the centre.. She's approaching her next session and I have asked the centre supervisor to kindly not take her outside to the park as she's only just got better.. He's now asked for her doctors note.. Given the bastard doesn't know where we live, I have said that I cannot source redacted information at such short notice.
Am I being unreasonable? The court order states the contact is to take place in the contact centre. Not in the community. I said the only reason I hadn't said anything about the park is because DD enjoyed it, however I had to take several days off work to look after Dd when she was ill and don't want her going to a dirty park.

OP posts:
Kitkat151 · 14/08/2021 15:55

Hi
I guess it’s all very subjective.
How did she become ill after going to a ‘dirty’ park? Did she get an infection? Can you prove she got ill from the park? ....because you don’t get ill from going out in the cold.
What makes the park any more dirty than other? Are there drug needles there?
Need a lot more information really

onthinice · 14/08/2021 15:58

Sorry to hear your DD was ill, however its actually irrelevant. If court order states contact takes place in the centre, then that's where it takes place. Tell the centre staff not to break the court order again or you'll get legal advice.

Ostryga · 14/08/2021 15:59

Pebble, I remember your other thread. Hope you and your dd are doing ok Flowers

Is the park connected to the contact center? Ie do they own it? If not then no, the contact should be in the Center only.

As for a drs note. He has no right to demand and continue making sure any and all communication is via solicitors only.

Kitkat151 · 14/08/2021 16:00

Is the park part of the contact centre ?

PotteringAlong · 14/08/2021 16:01

She hasn’t got ill because she’s been to a “dirty park”. But yes, contact in the contact centre means just that and I would take legal advice.

FelicityPike · 14/08/2021 16:02

@PotteringAlong

She hasn’t got ill because she’s been to a “dirty park”. But yes, contact in the contact centre means just that and I would take legal advice.
This. Unless the play park is within the grounds of the contact centre.
TSSDNCOP · 14/08/2021 16:04

Is the park part of the centre, and is it her father or the centre supervisor asking for the dr letter?

I'm wondering if is is part of the centre is the supervisor asking for a letter in case her father kicks off?

Earlydancing · 14/08/2021 16:05

How do you catch an illness in a park? How can you tell she caught it in that park?

That aside, maybe there is an understanding with the court that the exchange of the child takes place in a contact centre so there is no contact between the mother and father, , but as long as the visit is supervised, contact can be outside as well as inside. I think a child would like prefer to be outside, having an ice cream etc, rather stuck inside. However, if you are concerned that the father might try to abduct the child, that would be different. I'd speak to the contact centre and ascertain what the actual rules from the court are.

TSSDNCOP · 14/08/2021 16:05

I imagine you could get ill if the park were full of dog shit or needles lying around.

Stompythedinosaur · 14/08/2021 16:06

I seriously doubt she got ill from going to a "dirty park".

MotionActivatedDog · 14/08/2021 16:08

Maybe she caught a bug off her father? I doubt she caught anything from the park.

Regardless, if the court order says contact centre then that is a legal order and contact must only be in the contact centre. Unless the park is attached to and forms part of the contact centre.

notanothertakeaway · 14/08/2021 16:08

If the court order says contact is to take place IN a centre, I'm surprised he was allowed to take her to a park

Hekatestorch · 14/08/2021 16:11

I am guessing op would have said if the dd came home and said she had been playing with dog shit. Or fallen in it.

I am also sure op would have said if the child had been touching needles, or she suspected she had and a hospital visit would have been required. Not just ill for a few days.

Op, if the park isn't part of the contact centre, no time should be spent there.

But, I do doubt she got ill from that it could have been anything. He Or someone in the contact centre could have passed a bug on. Or touched a surface dd touched. Or she could have caught it the day before.

But, he shouldn't be allowed to take her to a park that's not part of the contact centre. Though I suspect the park is, which is why it was allowed.

Daleksatemyshed · 14/08/2021 16:13

I read your previous threads and you clearly can't give this man any leeway. Can you explain to the contact centre that you think he's a risk to your DD and she should be kept inside at all times? I'm sorry you've had such an awful time with all this, he never misses a chance to try and find your address, does he?

Original poster
Pebbledashery · 14/08/2021 16:22

So she basically became ill because he didn't put her coat on when putting it on to go outside. I had her coat, apparently its my fault for not handing it over.. When he could've asked at any point..
The park is outside the centre but they don't own the park, it's a public park. The court order states that contact is to take place IN the contact centre.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pebbledashery · 14/08/2021 16:24

@TSSDNCOP

Is the park part of the centre, and is it her father or the centre supervisor asking for the dr letter?

I'm wondering if is is part of the centre is the supervisor asking for a letter in case her father kicks off?

Father has asked for the doctors letter so he can make a decision based on his child's care during the session. Don't think so. The contact centre needs agreement from both parents to do anything and I don't give permission for her to go outside.
OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 14/08/2021 16:25

Don't send her. The contact centre are supposed to abide by the court order. I'm shocked that they aren't to be honest.

TSSDNCOP · 14/08/2021 16:25

In which case no DR note required. She stays in the centre.

Hekatestorch · 14/08/2021 16:28

Absolutely not ok, if the park isn't part of the centre. That's really, really bad if they have allowed that.

Original poster
Pebbledashery · 14/08/2021 16:30

@Ginger1982

Don't send her. The contact centre are supposed to abide by the court order. I'm shocked that they aren't to be honest.
There's been several things they've done which I'm really unhappy about. They allowed him to effectively force feed her when she wasn't hungry and kept spitting food out, the supervisor didn't intervene to stop him.. Immediately after leaving she vomits everywhere. I went ballistic. They don't abide by the 30 minute window after us leaving and he often leaves only 15 minutes after us, their excuse is "they can see we've already left" now asking me for the Doctors note, I fully appreciate he has PR and has a legal right to have her medical information, but for her to ask me this via text message from him and knowing we fled domestic abuse and where we live is unknown to him, surely that rings alarm bells.. This supervisor is supposed to be a qualified social worker...
OP posts:
Earlydancing · 14/08/2021 16:35

So it had nothing to do with a park being dirty? It had to do with being outside. Honestly, I think if you pursue that side of your complaint, you will sound ridiculous.
You might have a case about the contact centre but it might be there is an arrangement that IN the contact centre means within the grounds of the contact centre. People use contact centres for all sorts of reasons, not just because if DV situations. It may be that outside parts of outside grounds are now considered part of the contact centre. No one here can know. Presumably these are trained professionals that carry out the supervision so you'd be best to speak to them before legal costs. This must have happened a week ago at least. What did they say when you contacted them?

gogohm · 14/08/2021 16:36

See if you can change centre, lots of churches are used and the supervisor for ours I know is very strict on timings etc.

Original poster
Pebbledashery · 14/08/2021 16:39

My daughter has been having supervised court ordered contact for a few months now, when I contacted them regarding DD being ill they got defensive and said its because they noticed she didn't have a coat on.. I didn't hand her coat over as I didn't think they were going outside. However at any point he could have asked for her coat and she could've phoned me.. Presumably he is responsible for her during the session so can easily decipher if it's cold enough to need a coat. He just wants up look like a Disney dad because he knows Dd will have a bit of fun at the park.

OP posts:
Hekatestorch · 14/08/2021 16:45

I am currently fused as to what you main issue is.

Its August, many kids will go out without a coat on. Your child got sick, children get sick all the time.

But you called them to speak to them about her being ill, it's not shocking there were defensive. This seems to be your main issue

I think your main issue should be that this violent and dangerous man took your child off contact centre grounds (as far as you know the park isn't part of the grounds) and you want to know why they allowed him to break the court order.
Why didn't you mention that?

Oldraver · 14/08/2021 16:45

Your child did not get ill from a dirty park or not having her coat, it's ridiculous for you to think that. If you spout this kind of crap no one will take you seriously about anything

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